Revolution of Love

Revolution of Love

Do small things with great love.

Catholic Homeschooling Resources

A World Changed

In spring of 2020, just about every parent with school aged children in the Covid-19 Universe, got a taste of home schooling. Granted, my home schooling friends have said that distance learning during a pandemic is not the same (and is harder than) “normal” homeschooling. Either way, our worlds have been turned upside down.

Now that the school year is closing, many parents are considering their options for next year. With Covid-19, many public and private schools are changing the format of traditional schooling and distance learning will most likely be incorporated into the new school year. Due to this fact, some families are considering homeschooling their children next year. For others, like myself, some schools are closing for good. Our beloved 75-year old school, that has been our family for thirteen years, is another victim of Covid-19.

A Catholic education is very importance to us and we’re doing all we can to ensure our kids have a solid Catholic foundation from PK-8th grade. We’ve applied to another local Catholic school, however, there are far more applicants than available spaces, so we need a backup plan. For us, that is homeschooling.

Homeschooling Is an Old Friend

I’m not a stranger to homeschooling. When I was a sophomore in high school my mom started to homeschool, and four of my eight brothers and sisters were entirely homeschooled. In my early 20’s my mom hired me to help her homeschool my younger siblings. Years later when I got married, Brian and I assumed we’d also homeschool, but after praying about it, we felt called to a traditional Catholic education. However, I’ve always been surrounded by family and friends who’ve homeschooled their children.

As I research the different Catholic homeschooling options, I thought I’d share the information with you in case you are in a similar situation.

Homeschool Options

When my mom started homeschooling decades ago, it was relatively new and there weren’t many options. Today it’s much more common (even more so post Covid-19) and there are numerous choices. The most common forms of homeschooling are as follows:

An Accredited Homeschool Program/ PSP – These homeschool programs, also known as a PSP (private school satellite program) have prepared books, curriculum, and online support. This is a great option for newcomers. It can also be reassuring that you are part of an accredited school, which makes things like state legal issues, transcripts and high school credits easier.

A Non-Accredited Homeschool Program/ PSP – These have the same features as above, minus the accreditation. However, the schools will work with the parents to navigate any issues they may have with transcripts and course credits. Many of the schools have successful graduates move on to top colleges.

Self-Designed Curriculum – This is a popular choice for parents who want the freedom to tailor their child’s education. There are many programs that offer guidance to setting up a curriculum and getting the online support they need. A parent that goes this route usually sets up their homeschool as a private school. This can be done relatively easily with the help of the HSLDA (Home School Legal Defense Association.) More on that below.

Charter Schools/Private Tutors/ISP – Families that don’t join a PSP or set up their own private school, have the option to join a public school independent study program (ISP), hire a tutor, or join a public charter school program that caters to homeschoolers. This can vary state by state so it’s best to check out your state requirements with the HSLDA. For those in California, I found this site informative on the subject.  One mom explained to me, “We are enrolled in a charter school here in California, which means we get funding that covers most/all our non-religious materials as well as many classes. We also can purchase technology through them. I know charter schools aren’t for everyone, but we have had a wonderful experience with them.”

Co-op – A co-op is a group of like-minded homeschoolers who get together, usually once or twice a week, for homeschooling support. This can be through classes (ie. math, writing, history, art, music, etc.) taught together – by another qualified parent or hired teacher. There can also be social activities such as park days, field trips, and religious celebrations. The social aspects and support are especially important to the students, as well as the parents. Many Catholic co-ops do a combination of both.

Legal Help – The majority of the homeschoolers I talked to recommended becoming a member of the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA.) The HSLDA helps parents navigate their state’s homeschool laws, complete homeschool paperwork, legal issues, as well as providing personalized advice from their team of educational consultants. (The link for California homeschooling laws is here.)

Resources

These are the most popular accredited Catholic Homeschool Programs:

Mother of Divine Grace School

“Mother of Divine Grace School was founded in 1995 to provide parents with the information, resources, and support necessary to educate their children according to the classical tradition. Laura Berquist’s book, Designing Your Own Classical Curriculum, had aroused the interest of thousands and she responded to their requests by developing a distance education program and offering home schooling consulting services. As with her book, the emphasis of the study program and the consulting services is to help parents to teach their children the tools of learning. Located in Ojai, CA, Mother of Divine Grace School serves over 4,500 students.

Mother of Divine Grace School offers a Catholic, classical approach to home schooling. It is a program that has been developed by “trial and error”. We understand the challenges that home-schoolers face and thus we offer different levels of service. We want to meet the needs of each individual family, and we realize that these needs will vary from family to family. Our consultants, teachers, lesson plans, materials, standardized testing, and assessments can provide families with clear educational goals, the appropriate level of support, as well as the needed structure and flexibility. These will lead to academic success.”

Comments:

  • “MODG has developed a specific group of counselors for people considering homeschooling due to COVID. I just chatted with our consultant about it. They can work out what would need to happen to finish out a year and keep track of credits for middle-high school kids who want an accredited transcript for applying to colleges or transferring back into brick and mortar school when that’s possible. (This is the form.) – Kirby, MN
  • “I love MODG. It works well with my family!” – Mary, CA
  • “I’ve used Mother of Divine Grace as a guide. They have inexpensive syllabi and you can purchase the books to go along with it. I loved that they told you what to do every day, especially in the beginning. I really needed that.” – Amy, CA

 

Seton Home Study Program

“Seton is an accredited school assisting homeschooling parents by providing an academically excellent and authentically Catholic curriculum. Our entire staff here at Seton will assist you in customizing our curriculum to be the perfect fit for your child. The students and families enrolled with Seton have the unique opportunity to partake of the fullness of Catholic truth as they experience the beauty, freedom, and peace that comes from Catholic moral and academic formation in a family setting.

Your enrollment provides you with much more than just a box of books. It provides an accredited education, a strong support system, and a community of staff and homeschoolers who are in your corner. It provides access to academic and support counseling, grading and record keeping, and a solid Catholic curriculum that promotes strong Catholic values in each and every subject.”

Comments:

  • “This is the program my mom used decades ago when homeschooling wasn’t as common as it is now. There was a lot of work and it was challenging, but the education you receive is excellent. The school was also exceptional at helping out the parents with any needs that arose.” – Bobbi (me 😊)
  • “We have used Seton for the past 8 years because I love having everything, including lesson plans, sent straight to me. Another thing I love is that Seton has academic counselors available by phone or email all the time. So, any question, big or small, there is always someone to help you out!” – Nicole, CA
  • “Personally, I wasn’t homeschooled and I’m not familiar with books or anything. I didn’t want to have to figure things out. I wanted to follow a curriculum that was already made and done and that’s good. That’s why we chose Seton. It’s exactly what we needed. I’m planning to add (or take out) things as needed when we become more experienced with homeschooling, but for a starting place I love that it’s very complete, it’s serious, it’s well known, and it’s especially a good Catholic foundation.” – Julieta.

 

Kolbe Academy Home School

“Kolbe Academy, like our namesake, is rooted in tradition and relevant to the world today. We seek to harness the power of technology to offer a truly Catholic, classical, and flexible education. With salvation as the ultimate goal, Kolbe’s educational programs allow parents to tailor the formation of their children in the Catholic tradition, with a classical approach. In particular, Kolbe is the leader in online Catholic, classical education.

In our online program, students learn in a virtual classroom among peers with a live instructor who facilitates discussion, lectures, and grades the coursework. Our goal is achieved only through the partnering of parents and a faculty and staff that is dedicated to teaching and modeling for students the good, the true, and the beautiful.”

 

Our Lady of the Rosary

“Our Lady of the Rosary School Inc is an international Catholic homeschool organization which offers complete curriculums for students from grades pre-kindergarten through twelve. Our Lady of the Rosary School Inc is more than simply a school, however. We are an apostolate dedicated to saving the souls of children by giving them the opportunity to receive a superior, truly Catholic education in the best possible environment – the home.

Our mission is to help parents teach their children the Catholic Faith in its entirety using sound Catholic educational materials, covering all subjects. We have been helping parents educate their children since 1983, providing them with the materials they need to give their children a sound, well-rounded, exceptional Catholic education. This Catholic education helps prepare children for further academic growth and development in the safe, wholesome environment of their own home.”

 

Other Catholic Homeschooling Programs

Catholic Heritage Curricula (This was the favorite of the homeschoolers I questioned.)

“Catholic Heritage Curricula (CHC) was founded in 1993 with one simple goal: to aid and support Catholic families in educating their children for eternity. Years ago, the two families from which CHC sprang lived in isolated, rural communities in Oregon and California. Without access to parochial schools, but desiring a Catholic education for their children, they turned to homeschooling. Like you, they sought materials that would provide sound academics while also tenderly nurturing in little souls a love for their Heavenly Father.

Gathering from the wisdom and experience of homeschoolers living in all parts of the world, CHC developed a gentle, flexible approach to academics that avoids ‘burnout,’ and instead lays a joyful foundation, resulting in children who achieve at and above grade level. CHC’s lesson plans and materials are constructed to allow maximum choice and flexibility to fit your student, while at the same time providing a complete education. CHC’s educational program is absolutely faithful to the Magisterium, low in cost, solidly academic, but easily taught at home. There are no tuition or enrollment fees, simply the cost of the materials.”

Comments:

  • “We use Catholic Heritage Curricula. It is more affordable, and we love it! They have lessons done for you, which is time saving.” – Krystle
  • “We have been very happy with Catholic Heritage Curricula (CHC) from kinder-3rd grade so far. We use the complete program and feel it is a good, gentle but effective, program (for our family).” – Allison
  • “I love CHC! We don’t use it exclusively, but it is very sweet and neither too hard nor too easy.” – Micaela

 

Mater Amabilis

“Mater Amabilis is a structured, Charlotte Mason style curriculum for Catholics. The authors are British mother of three, Dr. Kathryn Faulkner and American mother of ten, Michele Quigley. The seeds of Mater Amabilis were sown in October 2003 when Michele Quigley visited England to carry out research in the Charlotte Mason archive at Ambleside and to spend time with Dr. Kathryn Faulkner and her family. In discussing the ideas of Charlotte Mason they discovered that each had followed a similar course in their home education. After becoming interested in Charlotte Mason, they each had each begun to introduce a number of her ideas into their homeschooling. As they read more of her own writings they came to understand that the style of education offered by Charlotte Mason (and her educational organization, the PNEU) was both highly structured and highly efficient. Thus they found themselves adopting what they believed was a more complete application of her principles and method. With a desire to share what they had learned and encourage other Catholic home educating parents in this method of education, Mater Amabilis was born and went online in June 2004 as a FREE Charlotte Mason style curriculum for Catholics.”

 

Schola Rosa Online

“Our mission is docere ut salventur ~ “education for salvation.” We seek to aid each student and family to come closer to Christ so as to be saved by His grace. In order to achieve this we provide: an orthodox, Christo-centric, classical curriculum that teaches truth and grows the sacramental Christian identity of the child and family; a means for communities to practice Christian solidarity and foster local Catholic culture in co-ops; a joyful, community of scholars to aid in teaching middle school and highschool students in the online academy; a useful, affordable, high quality catalogue of educational products and services.”

 

St. Thomas Aquinas Academy

“St. Thomas Aquinas Academy is an independent home school program, established in 1995. We are dedicated to the Catholic formation and education of children by the persons granted the grace and commission to do so by Our Heavenly Father – the child’s own parents. To that end we offer a twelve-year Catholic liberal arts curriculum for the homeschooling family.

From Pre-1st to Grade 12 the St. Thomas Aquinas Academy classical home school curriculum is designed as one graceful whole, with a unit study flavor, that easily adapts to many grade levels learning at the same kitchen table. We encourage a relaxed teaching style, tuned to the natural developmental phases of the child’s intellect. We help you teach your child to learn, resulting in a competent, confident child with a life-long enthusiasm for learning, ready for college, work, or family life – whatever his or her calling may be.”

 

Angelicum Academy

The Angelicum Academy is a Catholic homeschool and liberal education program based on the liberal arts and the classical great books of Western civilization (as well as online Socratic discussions).”

 

Catholic Schoolhouse

“Catholic Schoolhouse publishes a three-year cycle of memory work for your family. Catholic Schoolhouse goes beyond memory work–it is a comprehensive scope and sequence; a foundation to build a true one-room schoolhouse for your family. But we are so much more than our books…we are a family! Joining or forming a Catholic Schoolhouse chapter brings you right into the middle of a loving, prayerful community of families, both locally and nationwide.

Using Catholic Schoolhouse as a comprehensive scope and sequence you can build a program of study for your family. Everyone studies the same topics, just at different levels. Catholic Schoolhouse materials are now available for all, whether part of a chapter or to use with just your family at home! **During the COVID-19 crisis, our Catholic Schoolhouse App is free until August 31.” (The material can be used with a Catholic co-op.)

 

Sources for Curriculum, Books, Online Classes and Individual Subjects

Homeschool Connections Online (Catholic // Middle and High School Online Lessons)

Classical Academic Press (Christian Curriculum)

Memoria Press (Christian curriculum)

The Good and Beautiful (Christian curriculum)

Rainbow Resource (Many recommended this one-stop-shop for homeschooling material.)

All About Reading/ Spelling Programs

Institute for Excellence in  Writing

Read Aloud Revival

Easy Grammar

Math Mammoth

Math U See

Math Aids  (Great for making math charts or drill sheets.)

Teaching Textbooks (Math)

Story of Civilization Books (History)

 

Recommended Reading

Designing Your Own Classical Curriculum: A Guide to Catholic Home Education by Laura Berquist – Highly recommended by many homeschoolers, especially for those looking to build their own curriculum.

Teaching from Rest: A Homeschooler’s Guide to Unshakable Peace by Sarah Mackenzie – This was recommended by numerous homeschoolers.

Project-Based Homeschooling: Mentoring Self-Directed Learners by Lori McWilliam Pickert – “This is in the ‘unschooling’ camp but a good read anyway. It could be a nice way to supplement your current curriculum, to do during ‘summer school,’ and to encourage children to explore an interest.” – Gina, VA

 

Tips from Catholic Homeschooling Parents

“My best advice is that if you have the desire to homeschool, you are completely capable and qualified. Also, homeschooling does not take up a full school day. Kindergartners require about an hour of instruction a day. About 2-3 hours a day for children up to 3/4 grade. Middle schoolers and high schoolers can usually be done their work in 4 hours or so!

Also, find or start a co-op! It’s a place for children to meet, usually once a week for a few hours, to partake in parent led extracurricular. Think Art, Lego Club, book clubs, science experiments etc. Our co-op always starts with Mass. It’s a wonderful way for kids AND mamas to catch up with each other!” – Nicole, CA

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“When I was deciding on a homeschooling program, I talked to many people. I found that depending who you are talking with, they are going to tell you according to what they like and their experience. That might help a little, but at the end of the day choosing your homeschool curriculum is SO PERSONAL. You must find what you like and what works for your own family.” – Julieta, TX

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“Trust yourself. Don’t over plan (you will). PRAY even if you do nothing else. You’re shaping minds and souls; the subject matter is just some of the tools by which we achieve that end.” – Bethany, WA

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“The most important little nugget of info I can give is to do what works best for you and your kids and not to worry if it doesn’t look like everybody else’s. It’s great to get ideas from others, but you don’t have to look like their homeschool. I have two kids with severe learning disabilities, and it is so hard to not compare them to others, but it’s not even a true comparison. On the rough days, I realize those are the days when I lose sight of that. It can be so overwhelming. We pulled our two oldest out of school, so I can relate to the mindfulness of it all. It’s a challenge to grasp how it can be done so differently than a brick and mortar school. It’s freeing and terrifying at the same time. Prayers for all the new homeschooling families coming this fall. It truly has been the biggest blessing to our family over the years.” Julie, TX

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“When we decided to homeschool, it was an overwhelming decision and I was so afraid. I’ve realized, working at a school that I absolutely loved for 12 years, that schooling is a vocation. There is no “one size fits all.” It’s really what works best for your family that is important.” – Amy, CA

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Other Helpful Links

A Beginner’s Guide to Catholic Home Education

Catholic All Year Blog – Homeschooling Posts

Cathy Duffy Homeschool Reviews

This list is just touching the homeschooling surface, but I hope it gives you a starting point. I don’t know yet what educational path we’ll be taking in Fall, but my heart is open to wherever God leads us.

If you are a homeschooler and have a helpful resource or tip for a newcomer, please share them in the comments. Thank you!

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Word of 2016: Balanced (Motivated by Compassion)

RevolutionofLove.com - Word of the Year - Balanced // goals_jan_feb_2016A

For the last couple of years I have been choosing one word or phrase that would be my theme of the new year. In 2013 it was “love God in little things”. In 2014 it was ora et labora (work and pray.) In 2015 it was Be Still.

So what is the word for 2016?? Balanced.

The definition of the word is “keeping or showing a balance; arranged in good proportions.” It reminds me of something someone once told me. They explained that your life is like a table with four legs. Each leg represents the four main aspects of your life – physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual. When all four areas are balanced, then your table is strong and steady. But when one area is lacking, like a table with a short leg, your life is wobbly and unbalanced.

I need more balance in my life right now, especially after the holidays. I feel like I’ve overindulged in more areas than one. I want to get things back in order but in a realistic and do-able manner. I don’t want my goals to be too far fetched. Instead of saying, “I will lose 50 pounds immediately!” I’ll instead say, “I will return to my daily walking goals and put down the leftover Christmas cookies.” Rather than, “I will dump out all the items in that junk closet and reorganize it before the kids come home from school,”  I’ll say, “I’ll spend 15 minutes a day tackling a small organizing project so I am not overwhelmed. Things like that – Balanced.

RevolutionofLove.com - Word of 2016: Balanced // goals_jan_feb_2016B

For my motivation to keep up this balanced way of thinking, I will use the second word that was heavy on my heart – Compassion. It is one thing for me to make a resolution. But it is an entirely other thing for me to actually keep it. I know myself. I get all gung-ho about something and then the novelty wears off and I’m all, “Meh.” However, when there is a strong motivation, it helps me to stay the course. For me, compassion and love are what wins me over. I am a sucker for helping another person out and wanting to do something kind for them. So when I am looking at my budget and am tempted to buy that “must have” item at Target that we really can’t afford, I will think of Brian working hard for our family to provide for us. My compassion for him as a husband and father will be my motivation to step away from the shiny object and move on.

Likewise, when I am at home and complaining about all the stinkin laundry or dirty dishes or the kids that keep interrupting when I am trying to get something done, I will remember that I am their mom. I show my love for my family by keeping a semi-tidy home and I share my love for God by stopping to help my kiddps when they need me. My compassion for them helps me to keep a balanced home life – not always goofing off and not doing my daily duties but also not always so busy that I can’t stop and spend time with my kiddos.

So that’s my word for the year – Balanced, motivated by compassion.

How about you? Did you pick a word for the year? What is it?

Tomorrow I’ll share my goals for January and February. 🙂

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Periscope/Katch, GoodReads Letterboxd, Spotify or Instagram. 😉


2015 Recap (Part 2): 5 Lessons God Taught Me in 2015

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For other 2015 Recap posts:

2015 Recap (Part 1): Entertainment & Social Media Faves of the Year

2015 Recap (Part 2): 5 Lessons God Taught Me in 2015

2015 Recap & Link-up: 2015 in 12 Photos

2015 Recap (Part 4): Top 10 Posts of 2015

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2015 has been a year of personal growth for me. 2013 and 2014 were years of survival and living with the cross of Brian’s cancer. Now that Brian is cancer free this year, God has been able to spend a little more time teaching me a few things. I’m not exactly the easiest student, being so hard headed and stubborn at times but God’s grace has always been my salvation. And I wouldn’t say that I have these lessons mastered… it’s more like I am aware and working on them.

Here are the highlights.

© revolution of love blog - cwbn_quoteI Am the Daughter of a King

In April I went to my first alone trip away in decades. I drive down to SoCal to attend the Catholic Women’s Blogging Conference. I was soo excited but as the dates got closer I seriously thought I would not be able to do it since my FIL was not doing well and doubts were filling my mind about meeting friends that have only known me through the screen. What if they meet me and think I’m weird or too old or too fat or too loud or too quiet or too whatever… Normally I am happy and ready to give someone a smile and a hug but sometimes feelings of inadequacy creep in and instead of participating in a group conversation I’ll just smile and nod. My mind will want to respond with a story or something that happened to me and instead I’ll hear a voice that says, “That’s so dumb. No one wants to hear that story. It’s best you just keep quiet.” It doesn’t happen all the time but when it does I feel like an introverted extrovert. So I worried that those negative thoughts would make me spend the weekend sitting quietly in the corner.

I spent Friday meeting up with some favorite bloggers for dinner and a movie. Then on Saturday I attended the first day. I truly had a wonderful day, learned so much and loved meeting other bloggers face to face but by the evening I was not feeling well physically and doubts started creeping up on me again. After the group dinner I called it a night and went to bed.

By Sunday morning I woke up feeling better. As I was taking a shower I was thinking about all the things I had learned on Saturday. I also kept thinking about the movie we watched Friday night – Little Boy. The premise of the whole storyline was the Scripture, “If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will be able to say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)

God was speaking to my heart, that I may feel as small and insignificant as a tiny mustard seed in the grand scheme of things, but when I put my faith and trust in him, when I let go of fear and choose love, joy and courage, then He can do miraculous things. I may never see them but I can trust that the Holy Spirit will take care of everything. I just need to keep myself docile in His hands.

All weekend I kept hearing the message over and over in my head, “God wants to use your voice. God desires your gifts. You have a special place in God’s plan…”  Tears started running down my face. As much as I mess up and despite all my shortcomings, God sees me as his beautiful daughter. He sees someone made in his image. He sees what I could accomplish if only I’d let go of the chains that bind me down.  It is hard to see myself like that but God is slowly peeling back the layers. He is showing me the rotten that needs to be cut out and the good that needs to be nurtured so it can bloom. It is scary as all hell but also liberating! Blessed be God. 🙂

To read the full post about my weekend, visit here.

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revolution of love - tahoe_sunListen to the Holy Spirit When He Nudges You

I remember many years ago listening to a priest give a talk about the Holy Spirit. He said that the HS will often prompt us to do something, usually to help another person. Maybe something will pop into your head, such as – I should give so-and-so a call or I should offer that lady in the grocery story some help or I should tell that struggling young mom at school that despite what she may feel, she is doing an awesome job. The priest said that often these kind of things comes from the Holy Spirit. It really made me think about how we are Jesus’ hands and feet. We are the ones who are called to share his love with others.

There are many times when I get these kind of ideas in my head. My first reaction is, “Yes! That would really be a kind thing to do.” My second reaction is to think, “Yeah, but I’m kinda busy or that person is going to think I’m crazy if I go up and talk to them.” I either procrastinate so long that the opportunity is gone or I just plain chicken out. Lately, I’ve been trying to listen to this little prompts in my head. I do a quick “test” of the action. Will it cause me harm? That eliminates prompts like, “Maybe I should pick up that scary looking hitchhiker on the side of the road.” Um, no. Is it safe and doesn’t take me away from my immediate duties? For example, I think I should bring over soup to a sick friend but I have to pick up my kids from school. Instead I make plans to bring the soup after I pick them up. Other spur of the moments ideas can be done right away – like offering a word of encouragement to someone. The only thing I may harm is my pride if I am rebuffed.

For example, on Mother’s Day we were at Mass and we had the usual mothers’ blessing. All the moms were asked to stand up and after the priest blessed us the ushers went around and handed us little angel pins as a gift. I noticed that there was one older mom/grandma standing on the opposite side of the aisle from me that was mistakenly overlooked. I felt bad for her and thought that I should go over there and give her my pin. My mind answered, “Wait, what? I can’t just walk over to a stranger. She’s not going to care about some pin. That’s silly.” But the thought would not go away so as soon as the priest walked passed me during the procession, I went over to her and told her that I noticed she didn’t get a pin and I didn’t want her to think she was forgotten so please take mine. She said she didn’t want to take mine but I told her not to worry because there are more in the back of church and I’ll get another. She looked at me and smiled and then gave me a big hug and said thank you. (I’m getting teary eyed just recalling that look on her face.) It was the simplest of gestures but for that woman, it was what she needed to hear just then. So the next time you get a little prompt from the Holy Spirit, take it to heart. God may need you to be his hands and feet at that moment.

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No Matter How Long You’ve Been Married, There Is Always Something to Learn

In February I wrote a post about 15 Lessons I’ve learned over the 15 years Brian and I have been married. (Make that 16 now since it was our anniversary on Monday!) Of those 15 lessons I wrote about, this one hit home the closest.

Don’t expect your hubby to read your mind. 

I think this is my favorite lesson learned because I needed it so bad! I had the attitude that if Brian really knew me, I shouldn’t have to say what was on my mind. He should just pick it up. Maybe it’s a female thing but I think we women are able to perceive things without words being spoken. I expect Brian to be the same way and while there are moments when he and I can look at each other and read the other person’ mind, when it comes to ins and outs of life, I need to spell it out. For example, when I would get mad or upset about something he’d try to comfort me and it only made me madder. (Yeah, my mom calls him a saint because he’s married to me.) I finally told him straight out, “When I am mad, please leave me alone. Don’t talk to me. Don’t touch me. Just let me be. Then when you see that I’ve cooled off, please hug me and give me your comfort. At that point, your hug makes all the world right again.”  He said okay and started doing just that. Since then it works like a charm! Likewise, it used to be that when I was overwhelmed and needed his help, I’d huff and puff and stew inside because he would not come over and help me automatically. Finally, I learned to just say, “Sweetheart, (or “hey!”) I need some help. Can you (fill-in-the-blank) for me. He was always more than willing to help, I just had to ask.

To read the other 14 lessons, click here.

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How to Live A Life of Gratitude

When Blessed Is She asked me to write a post about gratitude for Thanksgiving, I was excited since I just spent October writing 31 days of posts about gratitude. I had so much to be grateful for and I wanted to share with others ways that help me to cultivate gratitude in my life.

Many of the ways are obvious but I have always struggled with being grateful when things are going wrong or when I am carrying a heavy cross. This was a lesson that God has been teaching me for awhile but it really started making sense recently. Here is a snippet of the post Living A Life of Gratitude that appeared at Blessed Is She.

God Can Take It

There will be times in life when we are carrying a cross so heavy that gratitude feels out of our reach. I experienced this when Brian had cancer two years ago. There were days when the last thing I wanted to do was to be thankful. The love of my life was undergoing surgery and chemo and thoughts of his possible death wouldn’t leave the back of my mind. Besides worrying about him, I had the added stress of caring for the kids and the household by myself.

There were moments when I just wanted to shake my fists at God and yell at Him for letting this happen. I remember my mom telling me to ahead and have it out with God. She said to yell into my pillow and get it out of me. Afterwards I was to pick myself up, take a deep breath and leave it at His feet because I had work to do and couldn’t let myself get sucked into a 24/7 pity party. I followed her advice. After I let it go and surrendered myself, God showed my heart all the moments that He was taking care of me. He showed me how family and friends pulled together to help us in countless ways. He showed me “coincidences” that made our cross a little easier to carry. Suddenly I was realizing that I had so much to be grateful for. He had not abandoned me, rather, he was giving me, Brian and the kids all the things necessary to get through this crisis. (Thankfully, we got through the crisis and Brian is well now.)

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REVOLUTION OF LOVE - goal_summer_15_dA Change in Perspective Turns the Mundane Moments into a Blessed Life

If you read my Christmas letter, then you already know this lesson. It is easy to look around and think that you aren’t accomplishing much in comparison to others or that a mom’s life is anything but glamorous. However, with a change of perspective, I can see that all those mundane moments are actually proof of what a blessed life I have.

What did this year look like?

There were countless dishes in the sink and laundry that multiplied when I was not looking. However, it meant that we had food to eat and warm clothes on our back.

There were the usual toys, markers and Legos on the floor that required Jedi like reflexes not to damage your feet when walking barefoot. However, there were also proud moments when a child showed me what he built or the picture she drew and their creativity gave me a glimpse at their burgeoning talents.

There were incredibly loud noise levels reached when all three boys (and their father) had light saber battles or played football in the hallway. However, the sound of their giggles and contagious laughter couldn’t help but make me smile.

There was the driving – so much driving – to and from school, picking up kids on three different school schedules and the countless after school appointments and activities. However, there were those moments when a child saw me after school and his face lit up as he ran to me with open arms yelling, “Mommy!” It melted my heart every time.

There were meals to cook, toilets to scrub, work to be done, family to visit and deadlines to meet. However, I was paid above and beyond when a daughter placed her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder, when a father-in-law kissed my cheek and thanked me for visiting him, when a reader sent a note of thanks or when my husband told me he loved me (even when I knew I drove him crazy at times.) Those are the moments that make life seem not mundane but blessed. Those are the rewards that make my heart light and give me strength when I am tired. Those are the times when I ask God to forgive my selfishness and for taking things for granted. That’s when I ask for the grace of gratitude.

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What lessons had God taught you this year?? Do share!

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31 Days of Gratitude 2015 (Day 21): Letting Go of the Idea of Having One More Baby

RevolutionofLove.com - 31 Days of Gratitude 2015logo_31_days15_B_500The 31 Day of Writing Challenge continues. It’s Day 21 of my 31 Days of Gratitude 2015.

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Today was Matthew’s school field trip to the “The Farm,” an organic farm in Salinas, CA. It is an annual field trip the pre-school class takes every year and I’ve been lucky enough to join each of the kids on their trip. Even a decade ago, before Bella was in school, I went with a group of home schooling friends. (Can you tell we didn’t have cell phones then, so no selfies. I also didn’t realize how much heavier I was then!) I’m so grateful to have these one-on-one moments with my children doing something special with them.

RevolutionofLove.com (31_days15_day21)Our trips to The Farm. 2015 with Matthew, 2014 with John-Paul, 2012 with Andrew and 2004 with Bella.

As I was riding on the bus with Matthew leaning on me and holding my hand tightly, I thought about that fact that this was most likely my last field trip here with a pre-schooler. Before Brian got cancer a couple years ago, we were thinking about having one more baby. On the one hand, I was feeling my age and family responsibilities but on the other hand I really wanted a sister for Bella! However, after Brian got sick, we had to be prudent, especially while he was going through chemo. The more we prayed about it, the more we felt like it was something we wanted but not necessarily what God wanted for us. A part of me had a hard time letting go of having another baby girl (or boy) and accepting that my last baby was most likely my last baby.

Thankfully, now I can say that instead of being regretful, I am filled with gratitude for my four blessings (plus two in heaven), especially when I consider that in between Bella and Andrew, we thought we’d never be able to conceive and carry to term a second child. Today I no longer feel that tug for a baby. I am truly at peace with our family and realize that God knew what was best for us especially when you factor in Brian’s parents and the help they now need from us.

It is not always easy to let go of our idea of what our life should look like, whether we want more kids or are dealing with a surprise pregnancy. Thankfully God is ready to give us all the grace we need to let go of the negative and worry and instead focus on the blessings of what is before us. For that, I am truly grateful.

PS – I’ll post more picture from The Farm tomorrow. Right now it’s late. 🙂

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Sharing in Sam and Nia’s Joy & Loss: Every Life Matters

RevolutionofLove.com - scrip_rom_8_28

(I wrote this last night, although I didn’t get a chance to post it until now.) It’s just past midnight and I can’t sleep. Earlier today I saw vloggers Sam and Nia’s video of Sam announcing to Nia that she’s pregnant. (Don’t ask how. It makes sense once you watch the video.) The video is cute, crazy and hilarious and it made me cry happy tears each time I watched it. (I may have watched it more than once.) I wasn’t the only person who enjoyed it. It went viral with almost 10,ooo,ooo views in a couple days.

After watching it I thought to myself, they are brave to announce the pregnancy this early. I’d be scared that I’d lose the baby. I know I shouldn’t think like that but it was a knee jerk reaction of my own fear.

The following day their daily video was them sharing the news with family and friends.

However, two days later a parent’s greatest fear happened. They lost their little one in miscarriage. I was sobbing as I watched. It reminded me of the joy Brian and I experienced at our six pregnancies, with the expectations, hopes and dreams we had for our babies and our growing family. It also reminded me of how painful it was when two of our babies were lost in early miscarriage. My heart ached for them. I didn’t want them to go through this but all I could do was pray that God would give them the strength to endure and eventually make them stronger and closer to Him (and each other) in the end.

Nia says in the video that she was upset that she waited so long to take a pregnancy test (she didn’t want to be disappointed if she wasn’t pregnant) and if she had taken it sooner she would have had more time to bond with her baby. Those words broke my heart because it reminded me of my earlier fear. It was if God was whispering to me that I can’t let worry of what might happen stop me from enjoying the present and the blessings that stand before me. It was a reminder that I can’t let fear stop me from truly letting go and putting my life in God’s hands.

joan_imprint_1These footprints belong to my little niece who died the day she was born.

I can’t help but think about what has happened because of Sam and Nia’s openness in sharing their experience with us. Thousands of people saw them rejoice in the life of this new little baby. (They felt their bay was a girl.) Their daughter’s life brought countless laughter and happy tears to not only family but virtual friends and complete strangers. She gave us a glimpse of the miracle of creation and how new life can bring hope and joy to the world.

The loss of this little girl has also allowed us to grieve and mourn. She reminded us that just because a baby is tiny and may be unacknowledged by some people, it doesn’t change the fact that she was alive with a beating heart. She had purpose and her short life has meaning.

Sam said in the video, “We’re so hurt but we’re so thankful God used us like this.”

I do hope their daughter’s short life continues to touch the hearts of others. I hope it is a reminder that all life is precious. I hope it is an encouragement to parents who have lost a child that they are not wrong to grieve their babies nor are they wrong to celebrate the short time they did have together.

Let’s make a special effort today to pray for those who have lost a child and to give some extra love to those closest to us and never take the life we share for granted.

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads Letterboxd, Spotify or Instagram. 😉