Revolution of Love

Revolution of Love

Do small things with great love.

Online Daybook (7/30/14) & Embrace the Ordinary (vol 2) – Brian Update, Baby Joan Fund Update & Other Tidbits

 

Moments of Gratitude…

Today I am especially thankful…

  • That Brian finished his last round of chemo!
  • For this beautiful day with blue skies and a slight breeze – no fog and not too hot.
  • For the love and fellowship of family and friends.
  • For my father-in-law taking 3/4 of the kids to his house this afternoon.
  • For running water, stocked cupboards and a warm bed to sleep in at night.
  • For God’s mercy.

 

Embracing the Ordinary…

I’m linking up with Gina over at Someday Saints for Embrace the Ordinary. (Well, technically I was going to link up but I didn’t finish this post in time.) πŸ˜‰

Β After swimming lessons, the boys insisted that I take a photo of the swimmers. The impromptu shot has become a favorite of mine. There is a tiny glimpse of each of their personalities here – John-Paul is ready to jump off the bench and back into the car with his book, Bella is laughing at her little brothers’ antics yet plays along, Matthew is ready to pounce on the bad guys and be a super hero for all and Andrew is experimenting with his cool factor despite his quiet nature. πŸ™‚

 

In the Kitchen…

MondaySlow Cooker Carnitas, homemade refried beans and broccoli slaw. (It smells so good!)

Tuesday – Breakfast dinner.

WednesdayRoasted chicken, brown rice and asparagus.

Thursday – Grilled Tuna Melts & veggies.

Friday – Paleo Mexican Chicken Soup (with leftover chicken from Wed).

Saturday – Homemade pizza and salad.

Sunday – Leftovers

(From Jan 2014, after his surgery to remove the cancerous tumor.)

Praying…

  • For Brian’s continued recovery from cancer.
  • For those who are suffering physically, mentally and spiritually.
  • For all those who have lost loved ones.
  • For all those who are persecuted for their faith.
  • For a deeper love of God.
  • For some special intentions.

 

On the homefront……

Brian Update – I am happy to announce that Brian is officially done with his chemo! Yay! He was having some issues with his stomach and we were freaking out a little because they were the same kind of pains he experienced two years ago when it was first discovered that he had a tumor. He went in for bloodwork and a scan. We got the results yesterday and the doc said everything looked good and his scan was clean. No tumors or growths or any signs of cancer. The doc thinks the stomach pain was side effects from one of the chemo pills he was taking. Being his last round, his body was just having a hard time processing all the chemo and it will take a little time for it to clear out of his body. This morning Brian was feeling better and his stomach wasn’t bothering him too much. The hard part now will be to keep up with eating healthy and healthy living and not becoming complacent! Thank you so much for all your prayers and words of encouragement, you guys. It means so much to both of us. We appreciate your continued prayers for Brian’s recovery and that the cancer stays away!

Joan Iris Update – Today I shut down the PayPal button for donations to my sister Elena and bro in law Vinine and the Joan Iris Fund. You guys were incredibly awesome!! We gathered enough money to but tickets for both my parents to attend the funeral and we have almost $950 extra to go towards funeral expenses. THANK YOU!!!!!!

At the last minute my brother Rob was also able to fly out for the funeral and he told me that being at the funeral was incredibly difficult and incredibly beautiful at the same time. There is great joy in knowing that little Joan Iris is with Our Lord in heaven but there is still the pain of being physically separated from her. Elena and Vinnie have displayed such courage and faith in God, despite their pain, that anyone who has witnessed it is deeply moved.

Also a big thank you to everyone who sent in their prayers, well wishes and contribution for the spiritual bouquet. I am putting the finishing touches on the little memorial book for Joan.

Β Here is a look at the opening page.

 

Pondering…

There has been a lot of news about death lately. Besides all the international and political turmoil these days, people we have known (whether personally or virtually) have died, some of them tragically. Just last night we received an email letting us know that our beloved school principle who just retired this year to spend more time with her family had suddenly and unexpectedly died. We were shocked. The only small silver lining was that it happened at a family gathering in her home town so she was able to spend her last days with those she loved the most. Some of the other deaths (such as Sarah and her unborn child) seem incredibly senseless. It is hard not to get angry and wonder what the heck was God thinking?Β  Why would she be taken away from her husband and young children this way. I don’t know. Intellectually I know God is in control and there is a bigger picture so on and so forth, but emotionally, it just sucks. But I guess it wouldn’t be faith if it was easy to understand.

“I do believe, Lord. Help my unbelief.”

 

Reading…

Danielle Bean’s book Momnipotent.

 

Wearing the Cape by Marion Harmon

 

Listening to…

Itunes Radio – Weekly Top 50 Alternative currently playing the catchy Cool Kids by Echosmith. Downloading it now…Β  Do we ever get out of that “wishing I was a cool kid” mode? Just substitute the word kid for mom and I think not. πŸ˜‰

 

Watching…

At the Movies – I went to see Chef the other night and I was pleasantly surprised at how much I loved this movie. The character, a once promising young chef finds himself middle aged, divorced, out of touch with his young son and stuck in a job that is stifling his culinary creativity. Circumstances bring him to quitting his job and buying a taco truck. In the course of the movie he finds his joy in cooking, in being a dad and in being a better man. The food will make your mouth drool. The music will have you dancing in your seat. The father-son relationship will have you wiping away a tear. Loved it.

Side-note – The movie is rated R for language. You know, in this movie (as in the last one I saw – Begin Again) if they cut out the F-bombs and such, both would have been PG. Go figure.

On TVCedar Cove Season 1 (Hallmark), The Last Ship (This one is really growing on me and there are a number of faith moments on it) and the new Hercule Poirot on Masterpiece.

On YouTube – The Walking Dead Season 5 trailer. Are you as excited as I am? πŸ˜‰

 

On the blog…

I’ve taken some time off so since my last Daybook and I’ve only posted three times:

Blessed Is She (Make sure to follow on FB, Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest and sign up for emails. Join the sisterhood!) πŸ™‚

Embrace the Ordinary (vol 1)

Pinterest Party & Link-up (Vol 26): Southwestern Black Bean and Corn SaladΒ  (This link-up is open until Friday so add your links!

 

In the blogosphere…

I wasn’t able to attend Edel this year but I have been enjoying reading all the recaps. Jen has a link-up for all those who wrote a review. Check it out and get your fill. When you are done, come back and let me know – Are you going to Edel ’15??

 

Pinned…

My pin of the week – I am going to try this recipe from Katie at Kitchen Stewardship.com next week – Cancer Fighting Asian Soup. πŸ™‚ Thanks to Teresa K for pointing me in her direction. Katie actually has a lot of recipes on her blog that I’d like to try, especially the ones with cancer fighting foods!

Photo credit – Kitchen Stewardship Blog

 

Plans for the Week…

Well, the week is half way done but tomorrow is our last swimming lesson for the summer. We may be doing some Saturday lessons for the boys in fall so they can keep practicing. Friday we are going to our church’s family night for a pizza party. The boys were begging us to take them. LOL. On Saturday I need to catch up on housework because not being home all week is really putting a damper on my chores. Ugh. Sunday we’ll try to go on a fmaily hike. We need to do a better job at making Sunday a day of rest and family time. Next week Matthew starts preschool! Where did the summer go??

 

Captured…

Here are a few shots from the past two weeks.

Taken at San Carols Cathedral in Monterey

(Same place.) Rose gardens get a lot of attention but I am falling in love with these hardy succulent plants. πŸ˜‰

While I was snapping photos on my phone Bella was attending her first youth group – praying the rosary, playing and eating rosary cupcakes. πŸ™‚

Speaking of Bella, she just got new braces! This weekend she and Andrew attended a children’s symphony with their classical music loving Oma. πŸ™‚

Not wanting to be left out of the shot, Matthew did a donut on his Big Wheels, crashing into Andrew’s leg. Luckily Oma rang the door bell before they got into a scuffle. πŸ˜‰ #lifewithboys

 

Linking-Up with…

A Mama Collective’s Currently

Β 

Gina’s Embrace the Ordinary

(I don’t think she has a logo for it so I’ll use mine. ;-))

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd or Instagram (It’s set to private but I’ll approve you.) πŸ˜‰

PPS – This post may contain affiliate links.

 


Online Daybook (4/21/14): Easter, Family & Carrying Crosses

He is Risen! He is risen Indeed! I wish you and your loved ones a very blessed Easter season! I set aside blogging for Holy Week but I am back today with my Online Daybook.

* * * * *

Moments of Gratitude…

Today I am especially thankful for

  • Making it through Lent and for the first time feeling like I made a little spiritual progress.
  • The joy of Easter.
  • The giggles of the kids.
  • The deliciousness of chocolate.
  • Time with family.

 

Beauty in the Ordinary…

Bubbles on a spring day.

In the Kitchen…

M – Leftovers from Easter dinner.

T – Chicken Meatball and Tortellini Soup

W – Breakfast dinner – Pancakes

Th – Roasted chicken, brown rice and veggies

F – Leftovers

S – (Road trip to So Cal) Dinner at my mom and dad’s (woohoo!)

S – Dinner at my brother’s place. (Double woohoo!)

 

Praying…

  • For Brian’s chemo and continued recovery from cancer.
  • For all those who are fighting cancer and other illnesses.
  • For all the pregnant mamas as well as those who are suffering from infertility or miscarriage.
  • For those who entered into the Church this Easter.
  • For the renewed faith of cradle Catholics.
  • For those who are far from God and most in need of his mercy.
  • For some special intentions.

 

On the homefront……

On the 16th, Brian and I celebrated the anniversary of our first date/first meeting face to face. It feel like it was just yesterday and not 15 years ago! I still remember how nervous I was. We met online though AMSCOL and had been emailing and talking on the phone for 4 1/2 months and I was almost certain he was the man I was going to marry even though I hadn’t even laid eyes on him yet. My last reservations melted away once we were together. Everything clicked. I knew I would love him for the rest of my life.

Fast forward eight months from that first date and I was vowing before God to love Brian for better and for worse, in sickness and in health. Well, my chance to love him in sickness is here. I knew Brian wouldn’t be able to go on a real date for our anniversary so I planned a little after hours date and made a special dessert for us to share after the kids went to bed. However, Brian was feeling really tired and in a lot of pain from the chemo so he went to go take a nap after dinner. The first week after his first chemo treatment was tough for him but, in his words, this second cycle was 100x worse than the first. Brian didn’t just take a nap after dinner. He was out for the rest of the night. Like a mom with a newborn baby, a few times I checked on him to make sure he was still breathing since he has never slept that long. So I didn’t get to celebrate with him but at least he was alive and fighting for us.

I know many of you are praying for us – I can feel the grace keeping me upright. It’s hard at times. The following day Brian came home from work (he tries to put in a few hours each day in order to keep our insurance) and I could see how tired he was and that his whole body was aching. I told him to go to bed and get some rest and I had my father -in-law come over and babysit the kids so I could keep a dentist appointment that I had. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the fact that going to the dentist and getting my teeth cleaned was like having a mini spa day but I’ll take what I can get.

When I came home I made dinner. Brian ate a little then went back to bed. As I cleaned up the dishes and put in another load of laundry and got the kids ready for bed and wiped behinds I couldn’t help but feel resentful. Not of Brian, but of the cancer. It feel like it is stealing my husband and stealing our life together. I hate it. I hate seeing Brian like this. I hate feeling helpless. I hate feeling hateful. I hadn’t cried in awhile but that night I let the tears fall. It helped.

On Easter morning, there was joy in the Risen Lord but also pain that we are still carrying our cross. It was a weird sensation. But we are hanging in there. I’m hoping that this next week will ease up a bit for Brian and he can catch his breath. He is having a couple of “red flags” in his side effects so he has to talk to the doctor and check and make sure his dosage doesn’t need to be lowered. Next week Brian has an “off” week without chemo and we are praying that he feels better so he can join me and the kids for our road trip to see my family.

 

Pondering…

In that same train of thought, I know that the crosses we carry are meant to be our road to salvation. If we allow it, our crosses can draw us closer to God and bring us deeper into his love. So I keep thinking, what is God trying to teach me? How do I, as a wife, fight and hate this cancer yet embrace it as the cross I am to carry right now. I have a long way to go but I think it has already drawn me to a less superficial faith in God. I have to dig deep to trust in God. I have to go deeper in my prayer life. I can’t just rattle off a few prayers to check it off a list. I need to truly connect with God or I am a raving lunatic the whole day.

When I was a kid my mom used to love listening to John Michael Talbot, who now looks like Gandolf but still has a lovely voice. Since I’ve been married I have gotten in the habit of playing his music during Lent since it put me in a quiet and prayerful mood. On Good Friday I was listening to his album Come to the Quiet and his song Psalm 62 brought tears to my eyes. It is exactly what I am clinging to right now.

1 [For the choirmaster . . . Jeduthun Psalm Of David] In God alone there is rest for my soul, from him comes my safety;

2 he alone is my rock, my safety, my stronghold so that I stand unshaken.

3 How much longer will you set on a victim, all together, intent on murder, like a rampart already leaning over, a wall already damaged?

4 Trickery is their only plan, deception their only pleasure, with lies on their lips they pronounce a blessing, with a curse in their hearts.Pause

5 Rest in God alone, my soul! He is the source of my hope.

6 He alone is my rock, my safety, my stronghold, so that I stand unwavering.

7 In God is my safety and my glory, the rock of my strength. In God is my refuge;

8 trust in him, you people, at all times. Pour out your hearts to him, God is a refuge for us.

9 Ordinary people are a mere puff of wind, important people a delusion; set both on the scales together, and they are lighter than a puff of wind.

10 Put no trust in extortion, no empty hopes in robbery; however much wealth may multiply, do not set your heart on it.

11 Once God has spoken, twice have I heard this: Strength belongs to God,

12 to you, Lord, faithful love; and you repay everyone as their deeds deserve.

Source – Catholic.org

 

Around the house…

The Easter celebration aftermath that has yet to be cleaned up.

 

Reading…

The same as last time. I’m just about done with both.

The Everyday Catholic’s Guide to the Liturgy of the Hours

Insurgent (Divergent Series)

 

Listening to…

We are on Easter break so I hear A LOT of boy chatter, laughter, yelling and fighting. There is a constant chorus of “No fighting boys” and “Hands to yourself” coming out of my mouth all day long.

 

Watching…

I miss The Walking Dead. Luckily, I forgot I had a rain check from Target sitting in my purse so I redeemed it and picked up the first season on blu ray for only $10. Score. Since we are on Easter break and Brian is in bed early I can stay up and catch up on some shows siting in my DVR forever including The Originals, Mindy Project, Trophy Wife and Revenge. (Revenge was losing me this season but if Emily gets back to her red sharpie I may not cut her off. ) πŸ˜‰

 

On the blog…

Tomorrow is our Pinterest Party and I’m still not sure what to post about… whole wheat baked chocolate donuts I baked or a new daily planner page I made and will share.

 

In the blogosphere…

Yesterday I meant to link up with Kendra (who is my current fave) for Answer Me This but I never got around to it (Easter and all, you know…) so I’ll answer her questions here instead.

1. What did you and your family wear to Mass on Easter Sunday?

I forgot to take full shots of Brian and myself so a head shot will have to do… picture this with a black skirt (Old Navy) and mary jane heels that were promptly kicked off the moment I got out of Mass. They are super cute but I loathe wearing anything but flats or converse. πŸ˜‰ I was actually going to wear a pink sweater but Brian requested this same bluish one (Macys) because it is his favorite.Β  Just when you think they never notice what you wear… πŸ™‚ The pearls used to belong to Brian’s grandma. Brian’s mom gave them to me and one day they will go to Bella. (She likes dressing up as much as I do but we do our duty. LOL.)

Bella was looking pretty in lavender (dress from Target) and the boys all wanted to wear blue. (Pull overs from H&M, plaid shirts form Carters and jeans from Target.)

I don’t know if it is the stereotypical laid back California attitude but we are casual dressers, even on formal occasions. Dressing up means pairing the boys’ jeans and converse with a plaid shirt and pullover. πŸ˜‰

2. Easter Bunny: thumbs up or thumbs down?

Thumbs up. Our Easter bunny comes while we are at Easter Mass. He hides plastic eggs in our house and the kids find them. If they find all their color coded eggs then they get their Easter basket. When they hunt for eggs at their Oma and Opa’s house they know they (not the Easter Bunny) hid them in their backyard.

3. Do you prefer to celebrate holidays at your own house or at someone else’s house?

I like when family comes over to my house for dinner on “ordinary” days. For the big holidays we keep the morning time for us. Opening presents or Easter baskets, having a mini breakfast feast and lounging the rest of the day. Then we head over to Brian’s family for Easter (or Christmas) dinner. I prefer it that way because the thought of cooking a big meal for everyone stresses me out. Thanksgiving, however, must be spent with my family in So Cal or I’ll cry. LOL.

4. What is your favorite kind of candy?

Oh, that’s a tough one…. it would be a tie between Resses peanut butter cups, snickers, almond joy and peanut M&M’s. Although these days I am trying to stick to dark chocolate covered almonds. when I need a chocolate fix. Both are “health foods,” you know. πŸ˜‰

5. Do you like video games?

Um…no. Yesterday I downloaded Angry Birds Go the go cart game for the kids and I tried to play it. How come I know how to drive yet I can’t steer a stupid iphone video game?? After crashing four times in a row Andrew picked it up and won on his first try. I give up.

6. Do you speak another language?

I wish I could say Spanish but I only know phrases like “more cheese on my tacos, please” so I don’t think that counts. It’s tough when other Mexican people come up to me and ask me for help in Spanish and I have to tell them I don’t speak Spanish. I’m like an Oreo cookie – dark on the outside but white on the inside. πŸ˜‰ I’ll have to add “learn more Spanish” on my bucket list.

 

Pinned…

I haven’t had time for Pinterest lately but I did pin these two.

Source

Catholic All Year: Baby Steps to Living the Liturgical Year as a Family

Source

Tuscan Kale Salad from A Mama Collective

 

 

Plans for the Week…

Source – My sis JC

If all goes well, we will be leaving this week for So Cal for a going away party for my brother -in-law Mick who is being deployed to Afghanistan, a college graduation party for my brother Rob and then heading to Disneyland for a few days. πŸ™‚ If Brian is well, he’ll come with us and then take it easy at my parent’s house or the hotel if he’s not up to DL. If he stays home he can rest in peace and quiet without all of us noisemakers in the house. Either way, I need this trip so I can get a little familia recharge. Nothing like a hug from mom and dad and laughter from my siblings to make me feel energized again. πŸ˜‰

 

Captured…

Since I had Psalm 62 on my mind…

Okay, it seems like it took me days to finally finish this Daybook so I’m linking it up at all my favorite spots…

Kendra’s Answer Me This

Jenny at The Littlest Way

A Mama Collective’s Currently

Have a great day/evening. πŸ™‚

UPDATE: Brian just got home and he looks a lot better than he did last night. He said he had a bit more energy today and was able to work 6 hours so I’m praying he is on the upswing again. Thanks for keeping us in prayer! xoxo

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd or Instagram. πŸ˜‰


Moments of Grace Daybook & Currently (3/30/14): Brian Update, Trusting God, Odds & Ends

I’m linking up my Daybook with Jenny atΒ  Plain Grace and with A Mama Collective.com. Go check them out!

AND


 

Moments of Gratitude…

Today I am especially thankful for

  • Gorgeous weekend weather
  • The sounds of giggles.
  • At home date night with Brian.
  • Confession and prayer time alone.
  • Phone calls from my mom.

 

Beauty in the Ordinary…

The color of Lent is blooming everywhere.

 

In the Kitchen…

M – Chicken Quesadillas with Salad

T – Chili Beans & Cornbread

W – Turkey Burgers andΒ  Broccoli Slaw

Th – Leftovers

F – Cauliflower Lentil Taco Salad (This is a new recipe. If it comes out okay, I’ll post it on the next Pinterest Party. If doesn’t turn out, I have tuna as a back up.) ;-))

S – Homemade Veggie Pizza & Greek Salad

S – Crock Pot Balsamic Chicken with brown rice and roasted asparagus. (Another new recipe. I’ll let you know how it goes.)

 

Praying…

  • For Brian’s chemo and continued recovery from cancer.
  • For all those who are fighting cancer and other illnesses.
  • For the women participating in the Restore Workshop, especially those with heavy crosses.
  • For myself, that I never take for granted all the blessings in my life and that I always turn to God first when the going gets tough.
  • For those who are far from God and most in need of his mercy.
  • For some special intentions.

 

At the Cancer Center.

On the homefront……

Since many have been asking how Brian is doing, here’s an update.

[For those of you who are new here, this is some background info. In Dec of 2012 Brian found out that he had colon cancer. He went through surgery and had the cancer removed. A year later he went to his routine testing and found that the cancer returned and spread to 1 1/4 of his lymph nodes. In January 2014, Brian went through surgery again to remove the colon cancer. In February, Brian had a port surgically placed in his chest in prep for chemo. This Monday (3/24/14), Brian started chemo to remove the cancer in his lymph nodes. His schedule is to go in for chemo on Monday then for two weeks he take chemo pills. The third week he has off with no meds. The following Monday he started the cycle all over again. He will do this for six rounds of chemo. He should be done with everything in mid-July.]

The first week of chemo was tough. Brian is still getting used to the side effects and illness. Each person is different but common side effects for the type of chemo he is getting is nausea, numbness in the hands and feet (they have to keep a close eye on that side effect since damage can be long lasting), aversion to cold (for a few days after his port chemo) he can’t eat, drink or touch anything cold and general pain and achiness all over.

On Friday I was really getting worried about him. He was not only hurting but seemed so down. I felt helpless and wished I could take away his pain. He went into work for a few hours and I took a few minutes to say my morning prayer. My thoughts were full of Brian when I opened up my laptop to read the Restore prayer prompts. The thought for the day was timely. It said:

“Jesus did not come to explain away suffering or to remove it. He came to fill it with his presence.” –Paul Claudel

I prayed for Brian that he would be given strength to endure the months ahead. If I can’t take away his pain, I can at least pray for him to get through it. Afterwards I read the “Act” of the day. It said:

“Can you think of a cross your husband is carrying? Even some small chore that is usually his? Carry it with him today. Smile and wink at him, too.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Who said God doesn’t have a sense of humor. But it did give me an idea of how I could help Brian. I did what I could to make the home a little more comfortable for him. Things like – clearing off his desk area of the piles of folded clothes and Star Wars toys that landed there, wipe down his bathroom (a job he usually did), I made his favorite veggies to go with dinner and took care of his one cleaning pet peeve (an unvacuumed family room.) When he got home I kept the kids quiet (relatively speaking) so he could lay down and rest. It made me feel better just to do something.

On Saturday morning, I woke up and heard the kids talking to Brian in the family room. He let me sleep in as long as I wanted. (Even with cancer, he rocks.) Thankfully, he was feeling a little better and not hurting as much. His doctor said his body would develop a pattern and as time goes by he will know which days will be easier and which days will be tougher and he can adjust his schedule/activities accordingly. I took advantage of his feeling better and rented a movie he wanted to see that night and made a special dessert. (Baked whole wheat chocolate donuts. I’ll post that recipe too!) We had our own date night after the kids went to sleep. (That was part of my “wink”. ;-)) It was great…a little breathe of fresh air after a rough week. So yeah, we are hanging in there and appreciate all your prayers!

 

Around the house…

Legos, Star Wars toys, Legos, Thomas the Train engines, Legos, Disney Cars characters, and did I mention Legos?

 

Reading…

The Everyday Catholic’s Guide to the Liturgy of the Hours

Insurgent (Divergent Series)

 

Listening to…

I heard this song on the radio the other day and it really touched me. When I went to download it on iTunes I was surprised to find out that the artist was Shane Harper who played Spencer on “Good Luck, Charlie.” I don’t know if his new movie God Is Not Dead is any good but I do know I love the song from it. πŸ˜‰

Here are the lyrics.

“Hold You Up”

When it’s coming apart, you had it all.
It wasn’t enough. No, it’s not enough.
They tell you it’s not worth the price, so just let it go.
But you know you can’t. You know you won’t.

It’s not easy, no.
Finding the words to say.
When you’re feeling lost, you’ll find your way.

The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold.
At nighttimes you can’t feel the fire to guide you home.
The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know.
But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.

They see the fear in your eyes, heart sinks like a stone.
‘Cause when you’re afraid, it weighs on your soul.

It’s not easy, no.
Finding the words to say.
When you’re feeling lost, you’ll find your way.

The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold.
At nighttimes you can’t feel the fire to guide you home.
The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know.
But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.

It’s not easy, no.
Finding the words to say.
When you’re feeling lost, you’ll find your way.

The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold.
At nighttimes you can’t feel the fire to guide you home.
The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know.
But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.

When the timing is right, somehow you’ll know.
When nobody stands, stand on your own.

 

Thinking about…

I love the lyric “The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know. But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up.”

When I am feeling overwhelmed and am stressing out I am tempted to lose it. I can give into my weakness and the negativity in my head and allow the demons to steal what I know – that God is with me. That he is strongest when I am weakest and He can accomplish amazing things. If I am docile in the hands of God and surrender to him in the little things, as well as the big things, He will hold me up and carry me through. That is especially timely these days. πŸ˜‰

 

Watching…

Saturday we watched the season finale of When Calls the Heart (Aw!) and last night we watched the season finale of The Walking Dead (Ack!). I recorded the premiere of Season 3 of Call the Midwife for later this week along with The Blacklist, Father Brown, Grimm, some Hitchcock movies and some old episodes of Veronica Mars.

 

On the blog…

I have a number of posts in my Draft folder but I’m not sure how much free time I’ll have this week!

 

Posts I’ve Liked on my Bloglovin

 

Pinned…

Source

 

Plans for the Week…

Bella sitting next to me in the car, showing me her painted polka dot nails. πŸ™‚

The usual, although is Brian is feeling okay on Saturday, Bella and I are scheduled for a mom and daughter date to the movies. (Even if it means having to sit through a Muppets movie.) Honestly, my favorite time is when we are driving in the car to and from. I ask her questions about her life and she opens up and shares things with me. I think the simple act of sitting side by side but not facing each other helps her to open up to me more.

 

Captured…

I love how after a rain the sky is a gorgeous blue with big puffy clouds. Here’s the view from our deck yesterday with today’s scripture of the day in the Restore Workshop.

 

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7 Quick Takes (3/8/14): Chemo Update, Meatless Meals & When Calls the Heart

It’s Saturday evening and I have 30 minutes participate in Jen’s 7 Quick Takes. Here it goes.

 

~ 1 ~

The view from the window at the Cancer Center.

Cancer Update: Yesterday I went with Brian to his introductory chemo class. He was supposed to start chemo on Monday but his surgeon moved back the date for another two weeks so that the port he put in his chest could heal up more. He is scheduled to begin chemo on Monday, March 24. It was a little strange being there and seeing the room with all the chemo chair recliners and learning about the side effects and precautions we have to take etc but Brian was in good spirits, considering everything going on. At least the view out the window is pretty and peaceful. It looks out the hills surrounding the center.

It’s funny that yesterday I felt fine and was pleased that Brian seemed okay and felt he could handle it and we’d manage this journey together. However, tonight as we were coming home from Mass he made a comment about the chemo and I had a delayed reaction. I had to fight the tears back as it all started to sink in… all the side effects and the possibility that it may not work. I had to let it go and not allow myself to go down that road. But sometimes I wonder… what is the emotionally healthier thing to do? To let the fear into my heart and then cry it out. Or to not allow myself to think about it…to keep my thoughts on the surface and not go deeper. Is that being in denial? I don’t know what I should be feeling. Or perhaps I should say, I don’t know what to do with how I am feeling.

~ 2 ~

Mwah – I do know one thing, Brian and I truly, truly appreciate your prayers and your concern, especially from those people who have shared their own cancer stories. I have read your comments and emails to him and he is touched by them. Please forgive me for not answering all your comments. Don’t think I do not love hearing from you. So if I did not answer you right away, I’m sending you here a big XOXO of thanks! πŸ˜‰

~ 3 ~

Movie Matinee – This afternoon Bella and I were able to slip away for a couple of hours to see Frozen. Bella already saw it with her aunts and uncles when it first came out but I wasn’t able to go with her. So we finally went to see it before it left the movie theaters. I really loved it and the music. (I downloaded the soundtrack when I got home.)Β  πŸ™‚ I also love that Bella is still at an age when she doesn’t mind having mother daughter outings with me. I am treasuring all these moments! Thankfully, when we got home Brian and the house were still in one piece. As we drove up our driveway we could hear the boys (aka. Anakin Skywalker, Coty the Clonetrooper and Master Yoda) yelling and playing in the backyard to the sheer delight of all our neighbors. πŸ˜‰

~ 4 ~

Say what? – Oh, something else I did today was try a new recipe that my sister-in-law posted on Facebook. It is for a brownie made out of black beans instead of flour. Ugh! Can you imagine?? However, my curiosity got the best of me and I made a batch for the kids for their Sunday morning treat. I just took them out of the oven and they smell good but who knows what it will actually taste like. I’ll wait to taste it tomorrow. We’ll find out if it actually is a treat or another Lenten sacrifice. πŸ˜‰ (If it turns out decent I’ll share it at Tuesday’s Pinterest Party.)

 

~ 5 ~

Beyond the Fish Stick – Speaking of recipes, it’s time for Beth Anne’s third annual Lenten Meal Plans Link-up. She is teaming up with Sarah and Abbey to give us an online home where we can share our favorite meatless meals and recipes. Beth Anne also has a Pinterest board to go with the link-up. Plenty o’ inspiration!

 

~ 6~

In the Kitchen – I also added a page on the blog menu (see above) for recipes. I have struggled in the kitchen but after a lot of practice I feel a lot more comfortable and now find joy in trying new recipes. I made a list of the recipes I’ve shared here on the blog. There is also a section of meatless meals for Lent. However, I did leave off the list previous recipes I posted that were high in sugar and low in nutrition since we don’t eat that anymore. Sigh.

Β 

~ 7 ~

When Calls the Heart – Okay, my time is up. Brian just came in and he is ready to watch a movie with me. Actually, we’ve been watching a lot of action/superhero movies so tonight we will catch up on the new Hallmark series When Calls the Heart. It is based on the book(s)Β  When Calls the Heart (Canadian West Book #1) by Janet Oke. The show has a “Little House on the Prairie” feel, perhaps because it is directed by Michael Landon, Jr. Plus, I am a sucker for a romance story and I’m rooting for Elizabeth and Jack. πŸ˜‰

Have a good night and don’t forget to set your clocks forward. I would share my thoughts on Day Light Savings Time but I don’t want to use that kind of language, especially during Lent. Grr. πŸ˜‰

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads or Instagram. πŸ˜‰


Day 3 of 7: An Update on Brian (2/26/14) & Embracing the Cross

Today is Day 3 of my participation in Jen’s 7 Posts in 7 Days Challenge and I am rethinking my decision to participate because right now I am exhausted and I am too tired to think. LOL. There is a rain storm outside and we are thanking God for it since this is only the third time we have gotten rain all winter. I forgot what it sounded like to have the rain pounding and the wind shake the windows. On nights like this Brian always wants to watch a mystery for movie night so I am sure he will want to tonight too.

Speaking of my sweet man, today Brian had his outpatient surgery to put a port in his chest for his chemo treatments, which start March 10th. (If you are squeamish or afraid of needles this may be TMI.) Basically, the port is small medical device inserted beneath the skin. A catheter connects the port to a vein and it is used to inject the chemo or draw blood. It looks like this. Just picture it under the skin.

Source

Thankfully the whole process only took about 3 hours and he was back home resting by late this afternoon. After the procedure I helped him get dressed and as I was kneeling on the floor putting on his socks and shoes for him, I looked up at him and he smiled at me and my heart was filled with love. I know I am selfish and I complain a lot and I get bent out of shape when things don’t go my way, but in that moment, I was happy to be on the floor helping him dress. It was my little way of telling him that I loved him and that I appreciated all the love he gives to me and the kids. And that we value every moment that he is here with us. Yeah, a lot to say over a pair of socks but the grace must have been flowing. πŸ˜‰

This whole fight with cancer is something that we never wanted. However, in the last month there have been emotional and spiritual things revealed to us – as individuals and as a couple that have brought us closer to God and closer to each other. I know Brian has been through a lot this past month and physically the cancer had weakened him and made him sick, but he has fought bravely and grown stronger physically and spiritually. When I was talking to him this morning before his surgery he was joking around with me and I saw a look of happiness and playfulness that had been missing for awhile. I can see God working in him and I pray and hope and trust that God will continue to strengthen Brian and heal him.

But isn’t that how God so often works. Something terrible happens and suffering is endured but when we trust in God, we allow him to do amazing things. He can take the ugly and make something beautiful. He can lift us up off the floor and help us to walk once again. He can take our weakness and make us strong. He can take our doubt and replace it with faith. He can perform miracles. It is not easy since it requires us to first kiss the cross but with it comes the embrace of the resurrection.

Once again, thanks for the continued prayers. Please keep them coming. Brian is ready to watch that mystery movie so time to sign off. πŸ™‚

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads or Instagram. πŸ˜‰