I looked at the calendar this morning and I couldn’t believe that January was already half way over! It has been incredibly busy with the holidays and then traveling to my brother’s wedding. I barely started taking down all the Christmas decorations yesterday, which was sadly depressing. However, I feel like now I can finally start to focus on the new year.

As I have done for in 2013 and 2014, I have chosen a word/phrase to focus on for the year. Or, rather, I should say that God chose one for me. I had been praying about it and leaning towards a word that would motivate me to work on my house or keep walking to better my health or try something new.

Then at the end of December I received an email newsletter from Lara Casey (I’m using her power sheets) and she said:

I don’t fully know what my goals are for 2015 yet. While the rest of the world rushes to set goals by the stroke of midnight tonight, I offer you an alternative: be still. Let’s do this well, with intention.

The phrase “be still” hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew in my heart that was it. That is what God wanted me to do. Of course, I immediately thought of reasons why that could not be my word. I wanted something else. Anything else. The last thing I wanted to do was keep still.

However, in the course of a couple of days I was seeing the phrase pop up all over the place. For example, I was reading CajunTexasMom’s blog and in her 12 n 1014 post she said:

2014 was the year I decided not to make new year’s resolutions, and instead to select a word that I would focus on for the year. My word was “Quiet.”  I resolved to make quiet time for myself, and to be more mindful of noise in general, both literally and figuratively.

That little voice in my heart said, “That’s what I want you to do. Be still.” I answered, “La, la, la. I can’t hear you.” (Oh, wait, maybe that’s the problem.) 😉

Later I was on my phone browsing Instagram. What did I see on there? A photo that said…

Seriously, Lord? You are relentless! Okay, my thick head has received the message. I will be still.

On Monday, I was driving us home from SoCal and I put on my earbuds and was listening to the podcast This Inspired Life. The podcast is new to me and I have been loving it. I was on Episode 12 with Sr. Faustina sharing her vocation story. I debated whether or not to listen to it since my life was far from the life of a nun but with 400 miles ahead of me, I knew I had nothing to lose.

I am so glad I listened to it because it landed out being like a mini-retreat for me. Sr. Faustina’s story was beautiful. (And she spoke not only about her vocation but touched on the vocation of motherhood in general and relating it to her twin sister, who is married with children.) However, when Sr. Faustina spoke of her vocation she explained that she heard the voice of Jesus in her heart saying, “I want you for myself.” Something happened in me and I heard Jesus say to my heart the same thing. I was so real I had to hold back the tears. As weak and selfish and bratty as I can be, Jesus wants me for himself. He wants me to be still so He can speak to my heart. It baffles me.

Being still or quieting myself to pray is not something that is easy for me. There is always noise around me and not just with the kids. Even when I am alone, I will have the TV on or the radio playing. I don’t like silence. God has slowly been pulling me out of that but now He wants me to step up my game. He is emphasizing my need to be still and quiet my heart.

I can’t help but think about Mary and Martha. I am definitely a Martha. Every time I read that Gospel story I have to fight the urge to get mad at Mary for being so lazy and get upset with Jesus for reprimanding Martha. Oh, sure. it sounds all good for Martha to sit around but eventually everyone will get hungry and wonder why there is nothing prepared to eat! 😉

Okay, okay. I actually do understand what Jesus means and what He is trying to teach Martha. But knowing it and actually living it out are two different things. That is why I have adopted St. Martha as my patron saint for 2015. Together we will learn the better portion. 🙂

How about you? Did you pick a word for the year or make a resolution? Share it with me. 🙂

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