Brian and I were talking about marriage and divorce in general the other night. We have been hearing a number of Catholic couples (on blogs and in person) say, “If divorce can happen to prominent Catholics, what chance do we have?” I say we have the best chance in the world because we have the grace of the Sacrament of Matrimony! However, grace is not a magical fairy dust. We need to cooperate with that grace and work tooth-and-nail to live it throughout our lives. That means a heck of a lot of praying and a heck of a lot of dying to self. (You can’t have one without the other.) Satan is on the prowl and we must be vigilant, particularly in the area of our marriage and family.
It is not something I am stressed about with Brian and me. Yes, concerned to continue working on our marriage but not stressed. Some laugh that I’m just naive because I come from solid Catholic parents, so how would I know? Yes, my parents are solid but they are far from perfect and they have traveled a rocky road. You only see the outward appearance of my family now. I know the struggles my parents went through when I was young. I remember crying myself to sleep when at the thought of my parents divorcing, back when they were not practicing their faith. But I’ve also seen the power of marital grace in action when humbly lived before God. I’ve seen lives change because of that grace and the iron resolution that “divorce is not an option; we’re gonna work this out if it kills us!” (36 years of marriage and 9 kids later, they are still alive and together.)
I praise God for that experience because it has shown me that marriage is not all romance and pleasure. Sure, that is there to an extent, but entwined with it are trials and toils. However, it seems that problems in marriage don’t “suddenly” pop up out of nowhere. They start to fester long before, and they need to be nipped in the bud ASAP. By working at having a strong prayer life/relationship with Christ as well as by conquering the small daily trials and weeding out your own faults (rather than pointing out your spouses,) it is easier to face the inevitable major trials that will come along. Each day Brian and I have to learn to die to self as individuals, as a couple, and as a family. Personally, I am selfish and stubborn and it is a daily struggle but I have hope in my Savior, who gives me the grace and strength I need to live out my life as a Catholic wife and mama. Brian feels the same way in his own vocation as a husband and father. We’re not arrogantly claiming “it will never happen to us,” rather, we are humbly relying on God grace and diligently working to stop marital destruction before it starts.
3/26/04 – Marriage & Divorce: What Chance Do We Have?
(Visited 12 times, 1 visits today)
What profound statements Bobbi has made. My prayers go out to the McFarlands and married couples everywhere. I have been “endessly clicking for answers”. It’s what we all know…dying to self and praying, praying, praying for graces.
I can’t quite agree with Exceptional Marriages that we ought to be afraid our marriages will break up, so that we work harder on them. If Cacciaguida and I were constantly worried about the other one doing a bunk, we’d be dead by now. In considering a husband I’d recommend a young woman to look for rectitude of character and conduct even before piety. Piety can be quite sincere while masking a very unstable character. A constitutional determination to live uprightly and do one’s duty isn’t as amenable as fervently pious habits to deciding that God is telling one to ditch the wife and take up with a chick.
Civil Jurisdiction enforces a completly public forum for such demise, among them newspapers, as well as public docket online–including the helpless children, being thrust into the often irreversable downward spiral publicly humiliated at such a young age! The behavior of these AGENCIES are governed by none. The primary goal is to maintain separation to fulfull monetary benefits.