Cari over at Clan Donaldson posted her monthly Snapshots from a Sunday, vol. 7. This month I was able to participate (as did my sister) and it was a lot of fun! We were each randomly given an hour of the day and we had to take a photo of what was happening in our lives in that hour. I was assigned 4:00 – 5:00 AM. Yeah, I know! Perfect for Brian but not for this night owl. When I am in summer mode I never get to bed before midnight.
Anyway, here is my submission.
Taken at 4:55 AM in my bathroom. My things were ready for an early morning walk. However, I forgot how dark and tiring it is that early in the morning so I went back to bed and slept another two hours. The bottom photo is where those shoes took me that morning, along the beach in Carmel , CA on the Monterey Peninsula . You can see the surfers in the front and in the background the golfers at Pebble Beach.
Be sure to check out the rest of the photos here.
Blog Archives
Clan Donaldson’s Snapshots from a Sunday, vol. 7
7 Quick Takes (6/22/12): Kids at Mass, Diets & A Near-Death on the Beach
Hosted by Jen at Conversion Diary.
– 1 –
Let the Games Begin – I was debating whether or not to do the QT this morning because I don’t have much computer time this morning but then I saw that Jennifer timed herself when she did her QT and kept it under Ā½ an hour and she actually had real info with intelligent commentary. I am just going to ramble. I can certainly do that in 30 minutes, right? Okay, let’s go. Start time 10:29 AM.
– 2 –
Let the Children Come to Me…As Wild as They May Be – Did I ever mention that Brian has a new job? He is still in the same department at Pebble Beach but he is a supervisor now. I am so proud of him! The only family adjustment we’ve really had to make is with his new work schedule. Most days are fine but he works the late shift on Friday and has to work Saturdays. I was bummed at first but it has actually worked out well. He does get Sunday and Monday off and Mon is a great day to do our outings places are less crowded than on the weekend.
But is has meant that we change how we attend Mass. For the past few months we have split up going to Mass because JP and Matthew are at that loud and wild stage where they scream their heads off if you make them sit in one place more than 5.2 seconds. One of us would spend Mass in the garden because the yelling really carries at the Mission and there was no separate crying room/baby room/mother’s room. (Whatever they call it these days.) When Brian started working on Saturdays, I told him we should try going to Mass at the church next to his work. They have a mother’s room there and we can meet him after work and attend Mass as a family again. We’ve been going there for the last month and so far it has worked out well. I do like being together as a family again and getting the littlest ones used to being in church.
BTW, in looking online for the above picture of Jesus, I came across timely article for this take: Taming the Wild Child: Getting Your Kid to Behave at Mass.
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Girls’ Day Out – This weekend Bella is excited because we are going to go watch the movie Brave. We are looking forward to our mother-daughter day out! Thanks for watching the boys so we can go, Sweetie!
– 4 –
A Date with Jack Bauer – A quick look at the time …10:42. Half way done. You know, considering that it is morning, I should have a lot more energy. I think I stayed up too late last night. Now that our regular TV shows are over we are catching up with a few older TV series on Netflix. Right now we are going through 24. How did I never get into this show before? We are half way through season 2, the one with the bomb going to go off in LA. We are on the edge of our seats! Unfortunately Brian has set a one episode a night limit whereas I would rather have a marathon and finish the series in one straight night. We differ in ways like that.
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Pass the Chocolate – I hate to say this when some of you are sweltering in the heat but yesterday it was cold and foggy so we stayed inside and baked instead. (Here on the central coast of CA, we don’t get our warm summer weather until Autumn.) I bravely let the kids made their favorite Banana Bread Muffins. It took twice as long and there was a huge mess afterwards but they loved it. Unfortunately, months back I was out of the blueberries needed for these muffins and substituted with chocolate chips. Since then Brian and the kids beg me to add the chocolate chips again, so I do. As I was watching them stir the batter I was also munching on the chocolate chips straight out of the bag. Then I remembered. Dang it. I am supposed be tracking everything I eat and not popping in food absentmindedly so I can lose my 13.1 pounds. Sigh. So how many calories in a handful of chocolate chips anyway?
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Day 11 of #100 Miles in 100 Days
Well, today is a new day and I have been doing awesome on my diet. Granted I’ve only been awake a few hours… Actually, since Brian works the late shift today I was able to go out walking before the kids were up. This time instead of going on the walking trail by the beach I went down to the water and walked along the shore. Why have I not been doing this more often? It started me thinking about how often we take things for granted. There are so many beautiful and awesome things on our lives that we don’t fully appreciate as often as we should. Whether it is our family, our home, our health, God’s creation, our freedom, our life…sometimes I just need that reminder to stop and thank God for all his blessings and to remember those blessings when negative thoughts or a tendency to complain creeps in.
Well, after this God moment I checked my pedometer and I completed 2.5 miles. That is the longest I’ve walked so far. I was so tired but so happy! I just needed to climb back up the sandy hill to where my car was parked. I forgot how hard it is to climb up a hill of dry sand. I thought I was tired after my walk. Good heavens, I nearly had a heart attack going up that hill. Ironically, on my ipod the song “Heavy in Your Arms” by Florence and the Machine came on. I heard the lyrics “I was a heavy heart to carry, my feet dragged across the ground…” and I thought it was appropriate, seeing as my death was imminent. I thought for sure I would die right there and one of the many Carmel dogs on the beach would find me and alert their master of the dead body in the sand. Frankly, it is a miracle I survived the morning.
– 7 –
Okay, ending time is 11:12. Hey, not bad. I went a little over but I had stop a few times to get Matthew off the kitchen table, change a stinky diaper, get Matthew off the coffee table, wipe a dirty behind, get Matthew off a side table, clean a spill on the floor, and get Matthew out of my kitchen drawer. Sigh.
Have a great weekend!
PS – And to be completely honest, I didn’t count the extra time it took me afterwards to correct the typos and add the pics!
{pretty, happy, funny, real} – vol 36: Summer Fun 1
~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~
Here are some favorite Instram photos from the past week.
{pretty}
Earlier in the week Brian watched the kids for me so I could take my walk alone. Afterwards I stopped at the little chapel at the Carmel Mission to visit Our Lord.
This one was taken on Brian’s birthday, which was also Father’s Day. I call it “Walking in dad’s footsteps.” I pray that my sons are as good and holy as their father!
{happy}
When I make dinner in the evening I like to put on some lively music to get me in a happy cooking mood. The boys will often run into the kitchen to dance while I cook. That is when I grabbed this shot.
I’ve been doing a lot of spring cleaning (with my messes, it is a year-round job) but it makes me happy that someone is helping me out. Matthew is cleaning his car before he takes a ride. (Now if I can get him to clean my car, I’d be super happy!)
My happy boy.
{funny}
Speaking of my happy boy, I think we need to give him a hair cut. We are finding random bits of food caught in his curls.
Andrew is playing Mario Karts. It was a very intense game. He needed his helmet.
{real}
Yesterday we had the trees guys over trimming our pines trees. When the kids looked out the window they freaked out because you couldn’t see his ladder and it looked like he was just flying of walking over the trees. He was like a Chicano superhero.
All this summer vacation fun has us tuckered out. Matthew fell asleep during lunch.
Meanwhile, we couldn’t find his brother John-Paul. That is until we looked in his closet among the stuffed animals.
Book Discussion: Style, Sex and Substance – Chpt 4 (Part 2: Sex & The Married Woman)
Previous posts:
Today I am continuing with the second half of Chapter 4 dealing with Sex and the Married woman.
Warning – This article will be TMI for others who are not married or those who think this kind of stuff should not be shared publicly. Go ahead and skip to another blog and come back tomorrow for {p, h, f, r}. Thanks!
NFP & Me
Elizabeth’s section on NFP really got me thinking. She shared her story of how her use of NFP developed in her marriage. It made me think of my own story.
“It’s Not You, It’s Me” – It’s funny but this past year NFP and I have had a love-hate relationship and I came very close to breaking up and saying goodbye for good. To give you a little background, when I was in my early 20’s I was going through my selfish/worldly life phase. I grew up naive and inexperienced in many ways but once I got out into the world and made the wrong kind of friends, things changed.
I’m Supposed to Do What? – When I was in my late teens/early twenties, I did not have a proper understanding of the Church’s teaching on birth control. When I learned that couples were expected to use NFP, which required periods of abstaining from sex as a married couple, I thought it was completely absurd. It was bad enough that I was expected to remain a virgin before I was married but now I wasn’t even allowed to have sex whenever I wanted after I was married. Forget it!
Not Again – At the time these thoughts were in my life, my mom was pregnant again. I remember thinking that there would be over 20 years difference between me and this sibling and didn’t she have enough with nine kids already? And I wasn’t going to get stuck taking care of another baby… (Man, even I want to smack my selfish self upside the head.)
Her Name Was Rose – Then my mom had a miscarriage. I remember at some point I was talking to my mom and trying to comfort her but she knew, to some degree, how I really felt about her having another baby and not wanting kids myself. She snapped at me and made a comment about it not mattering one way or another to me since I put little value to new life anyway. I shrugged it off and walked away. But something about that miscarriage did something to me. My mom felt it was a little girl that we lost and named her Rose. My little sister Rose must have been praying hard for me. I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
I don’t think I can tell you exactly what or how it happened but something inside me changed after Rose’s miscarriage. She became “real” to me. I started to feel her loss. It was as if she were trying to get across to me that life is precious and we can’t take it for granted. It sparked something in me and slowly my viewpoint started to change. My heart was starting to change. It would still be a couple more years until I had my full conversion but God was slowly working on me and to this day I know Rose sparked the beginning of the opening of my heart.
On Fire for God – After my conversion (or reversion, actually) I got deeper into my faith until I fell in love with Christ and was fully committed to living out all the teachings of the church, including those regarding sexuality. At this point I was in my late 20’s and looking for a man who also loved Our Lord and the Church and who would support using NFP in our future marriage. By my late 20’s I found that man in Brian.
What Goes Around Comes Around – Our first year of marriage God was teaching me much. We hoped to get pregnant that first year but it wasn’t working. My cycles were always abnormal and now it was affecting my fertility. It was a very humbling experience because I remember thinking that my mom had nine kids and I would naturally inherit her great baby making genes. But God was letting me feel the effects of my prior selfishness of not wanting any kids. God was teaching me just how precious and special a new life is. It can’t be taken for granted that it will always be there nor is it at our disposal.
A Little Miracle – Finally, the second year of our marriage God showed great mercy on us and sent us our beautiful baby girl. I knew I wanted to honor the little baby sister that I never met but who played a big part in my conversion so we named out first girl Isabella Rose Marie. Shortly after, Brian and I started our website and I wanted to share what I learned about NFP and birth control so I wrote a number of articles such as What’s Wrong with Birth Control? and Is Birth Control Safe for My Body? and What is Natural Family Planning (NFP)?. However, ten years later I wanted to pull them off the website and disregard everything I said.
Fixing the Problem – For the first decade of our marriage we were strong NFP supporters. We started trying for a second child when Bella was around 18-24 months but I had secondary infertility. We did get pregnant twice in the course of three or four years but we lost both babies to miscarriage. It was then that a friend recommended that we switch from the Sympto-Thermal Method to the Creighton Model since it has been proven effective for those with irregular cycles. I was extremely reluctant to start a method that only used one means (mucus) but decided to give it a try anyway. I am so glad I did! It took a lot of work and appointments and tests but we were able to clear up the problem (which was primarily low progesterone and some PCOS issues) and my cycles cleared up considerably. After that we followed our charting carefully and we conceived Andrew and John-Paul within three years time. After JP I got lazy with my NFP. I stopped charting and did it “in my head.” I wasn’t observing 100% and unsurprisingly I found myself pregnant and it threw me for a loop. I didn’t think I was ready for another baby just yet.
Make A Decision – However, after time I fell in love with the idea and then with my little guy. But I knew I had to give myself some time before getting pregnant again so I went back to my Creighton teacher and relearned what I had forgotten. Brian and I followed our charting meticulously but I was having really long cycles with weeks and weeks of Phase 2, even well after I stopped breastfeeding. My teacher was very understanding and offered her wisdom in dealing with this tough time but as we were approaching week 6 then week 7 of no relief, I was fed up. I remember distinctly when we got to the “crisis point.” I was wrestling with my mind and a voice inside me said – You’ve got to chose, Bobbi. Do you love me even more than your husband? I broke down and cried. It was as if those same selfish demons that haunted me in my 20’s were haunting me again. I had to make my decision and I wanted to serve God together with Brian, not sin against Him with Brian. So we begged for more grace and it came. Thankfully, not long after that decision, (on day 50) we were able to come together again.
Reunited – It’s been about six months since then and NFP and I are back together wholeheartedly. My cycles are relatively normal (for me) and for the first time in my married life I am realizing just how amazing my fertility is and how the body can function like clockwork. I never had that before. Even though I still have had cycles that required longer abstaining than normal, we have been able to cope with it and make the most of it. Something that seemed impossible a few months back.
Friends First
In her section “Rediscovering Love” Elizabeth says,
“…The most satisfying sex occurs when couples are best friends — and friendship is something you cannot buy.”
That is so true and I think as the years pass you realize this more and more. The farther away you get from the newlywed years, (especially with many young kids underfoot) the more important it is to kindle that young love again and again so you don’t wake up one morning eating breakfast in front of a stranger.
Elizabeth goes on to say,
“A good relationship, however, doesn’t mean you are co-dependent clones of one another. Before marriage, my husband and I were separate people with separate identities and interests.”
“Marriage makes us one and unites us in this vocation of raising a family together, but maintaining interests and friendships that we cherished before marriage.”
Brian and I know that sometimes we need some time away. He finds his greatest solace in getting out for awhile and going to the local monastery to sit and pray and think quietly. Or I keep the kids occupied so he can watch a football game or tennis match. I find my solace getting out of the house alone whether I am going to Costco or catching up with am old friend. In the end we come back more refreshed and ready to work together.
However, Elizabet reminds us…
“It goes without saying, however, that we want to be chosen over our husband’s other activities and hobbies, and our husbands want to be chosen over ours, and so we have to guard against making idols of those things. In the hierarchy of values, Christ comes first, then our marriage and kids. Our work, friendships, and hobbies follow. It’s easy to lose perspective and give that which is easiest and most enjoyable too high a place on the scale of values.”
Let’s Talk about Sex
When I read this paragraph I couldn’t help laughing out loud.
“Conducting an informal survey of a group of Catholic women, I’ve concluded that many of us downplay the importance of our own pleasure in the married relationship. It’s easy to do. At the end of a day spent meeting the needs of our children or the demands of our jobs, our husbands can seem like one more person who wants something from us. We may feel tempted to fake climax, or to give up and get it over with. But we are not running a sex charity here.”
Okay, that’s the kind of stuff that makes my mom say we shouldn’t be discussing such things in public! There is a fine line between being open so we can learn how to live our vocation as wives better and sharing too much of what is a private matter between a husband and wife. I’ll try to be respectful while still offering what lessons I’ve learned.
For me, sexual intimacy is 10% physical and 90% mental and unless I am in a hotel room alone with my husband without the chance of getting interrupted by a little one, then I have to “prep” for our special times together. Elizabeth agrees!
“We have to prepare not only to give ourselves to our husbands, but also to receive them. Silence negative thinking. Reflect on his best attributes. Ask God for the grace of holy desire, for the gift of pleasure and relaxation. Thank him for the gift of your husband and your marriage.”
I love that. Elizabeth also has some great practical advice to keep things fun. Here are some of my tips that I have found helpful.
— I heart phase 3. One of the complaints of NFP is that you can’t be spontaneous. Everything has to be “planned.” Well, we save our spontaneity for Phase 3 when we have a free pass, but little planning can boost, not lessen, the mood.
— How do I love thee? To mentally prepare, sometimes when the kids are quiet or napping I’ll pull out an old journal from when I was dating Brian or an old love letter Brian wrote me. I stir up all those old love-sick feelings I had and before you know it I can’t wait for Brian to get home and so I can get my arms around him again. LOL.
— Keep it light. Practically speaking, if I know we will have time to spend together I plan accordingly. I don’t schedule big cleaning and organizing projects and I don’t make meals that require lots of prep and lots of clean up.
— Smelling good. I buy special soaps and lotions that Brian likes and only use them on our “date” nights. It puts us both in the mood.
— Flirt in the kitchen. A stolen kiss, a playful touch or something whispered in the ear can let him know that you desire him and want to be with him. The restraint of doing nothing more than that builds the sexual tension and you look forward to the night together.
— Keep a sense of humor. There is nothing like playful laughter to bring you together, especially when things are far from “perfect.”
— Make a romantic bedroom. Okay, a confession. I had a hard time with this one. Back in April, Hallie at Betty Beguiles.com posted Building a Rockin’ Love Nest. She shared ideas of making the bedroom more romantic for you and your hubby. That post had been haunting me ever since. My bedroom had become a major “catch all” of junk. I read that post then went and looked around my bedroom. The view from my bed was basically this…
(omg, Hoardersville, USA. I can’t believe I just posted this online but there’s nothing like a few acts of mortification and humiliation to keep you humble.)
Well, that did it. I was determined not to sleep until I cleared out all the junk and put everything away. By the end of the very long day it looked like this.
Brian came home and he loved the clean room. (Ironically, I was too tired that night to “enjoy” it with him. haha)
But that actually brings me to the next problem. Although I have a clean bedroom again, Brian and I are rarely in it alone. We still have little ones sleeping in our room. How are you supposed to have a Rocking Love Nest when you share a family bed or have babies in cribs in your room?? Our solution, make the Love Nest mobile.
I went to Target and found an inexpensive comforter and pillows in a cute design. I keep it rolled up in the closet and when the kids are asleep, we take our “bed” to another room (with a lock) and have our alone time – alone. For those days we can’t use our bedroom, it works out perfectly.
To sum it all up, I love Elizabeth’s paragraph:
“Sexual balance is really a search for peace — peace that comes from maintaining friendship with Christ, peace when body and soul are united, and peace with the world around us when we can turn an open and loving face to the people in our lives.”
That’s it for now. Feel free to share your thoughts and comments! Next time I’ll discuss Chapter 5 – Single and Seeking God’s Plan by Anne Mitchell.
Oh and don’t forget to share your posts for how you are growing physically, spiritually and emotionally. The link up is here.
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Weigh-in Wednesday – Vol 8: Join the Journey & Add Your Link
**Sharing the triumphs and missteps in my journey towards a healthier physical, emotional and spiritual life.**
Back in March, I started Weigh-in Wednesday to share my progress (and mistakes) as I work towards a healthier physical, emotional and spiritual life.
Spiritual – For my spiritual and emotion well being I have been sharing a Book Discussion of Style, Sex, and Substance: 10 Catholic Women Consider the Things that Really Matter.
Previous posts:
Chapter 1 – “How I Fell Out of My Minivan and Found Myself” by Jen Fulwiler’s.
Chapter 2 – “Style: Balance, Beauty and You” by Hallie Lord
Chapter 3 – “God and Godiva” by Karen Edmisten
Chapter 4 – “Sex, Passion and Purity” by Elizabeth Duffy (Part 1: Sex & the Single Life)
This week’s discussion (Part 2: Sex & the Married Woman) should hopefully be posted later today….as long as my kids cooperate and take their naps!
Physical – Run, baby, run! – For my physical well being I have been inspired by my marathon running sisters and some amazing Catholic mom bloggers who are runners (like Tina at Priceless Fishers and Colleen at Martin Family Moments or who are starting to run with the Couch to 5K Program like my sis EL at Barefoot and Sometimes Pregnant and Grace at Camp Patton. I’m not quite ready for running yet but I am getting out the door and walking one mile a day for the next 100 days. (#100milesin100days). (If you are not a regular walker, I encourage you to join me!) Today is Day 10 and I’ll continue to post daily updates on Twitter and Instagram.
UPDATE: Colleen just sent me an encouraging email and also asked if I was joining the Marathon Weight Loss Challenge that she is also doing. You can sign up to lose either a “marathon” (26.3 pounds) or (13.1 pounds). I had been thinking about it ever since I read her post. The final weigh in is September 17. That is the day before I finish my 100 miles. That seems providential….okay, I’m signing up to lose a half-marathon. (And maybe that will help me to not pick up a bagel or ice cream after I walk. LOL)
Link up! – I thought it would be fun to share with one another our journeys. If you have a blog post about trying to live healthier, share it with us. Maybe you are starting to walk, too, or you are running your first triathlon. Maybe you changed your diet or joined weight watchers. Maybe you have a large amount to lose or you just need to shed those last five baby pounds. What are you doing to work out your goals?
Or have you made spiritual progress this week? Was there a situation where God’s grace was evident or where you learned a lesson? Whether it be simple or profound., share with us!
You can link your blog post below. Have fun!
NOTE: IT SEEMS THAT THE “ADD YOUR LINK” IS NOT SHOWING UP ON SOME BROWSERS. (IE. I CAN’T SEE IT ON MY KINDLE OR IPHONE.) I’LL TRY TO UPDATE THE CODE. SORRY!