Book Discussion: 10 Habits of Happy Mothers – Habit #1

By bobbi
July 28, 2011
3 Comments

This is my first post in participation with Elizabeth Floss’ online book discussion of The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers – Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity by Meg Meeker, MD.

I bought this book a couple months ago and started reading it but frankly, I don’t think I was in the right state of mind because when Dr. Meeker gave examples of moms who were formerly in the corporate world or who were doing outside ministries along with raising their families, it turned me off. I didn’t have a lot of degrees. I wasn’t working outside the home. I didn’t miss public speaking. I didn’t think the book was for me since I am “just a mom” with little kids trying to make it through the day with the dishes washed, some laundry done and my sanity intact.

However, when I saw that Elizabeth Floss was gong to do an online book study of this book, I thought I’d give it another try. I’m so glad I did because now it is clicking and making sense to me. This book is just as beneficial to a mom “like me.” I have been reading along, but at a slower pace, and I’ve found myself rereading sections and thinking over the material so I can better apply them to my life. I have a number of thoughts and notes scribbled down so I’ll try to capture some of those thoughts and hopefully make coherent posts as I work my way through the book.

Thoughts on Habit #1 – Understand Your Value as a Mother

Feeling Inferior

Dr. Meeker discusses our ability to see and name the many talents that our friends posses but our inability to see the talents that we posses. This hit home the other day when I was talking to my mom about my brother Rob’s recent stay in the hospital. His nurse was named Bobbi and my mom and my brother both laughed because she reminded them of me – that we had the same personality. Right away I started thinking of poor Nurse Bobbi and all the things that must be wrong with her. I asked my mom, “Well, what was she like?” I wanted to know how other people saw me. My mom described some positive traits and I thought, wow, is that really how I am?

It reminded me of an earlier post I made about when I read the blogs of moms that can cook, bake, sew, craft, garden and blog while raising ten kids, I felt woefully lacking since I wasn’t able to do even a quarter of what they did. I felt inferior to them! So it made sense when Dr. Meeker said:

“We are supercritical of ourselves because we heap unreasonable expectations on ourselves…No matter how well we do in one area, we always feel that we’re falling short in another. Second, we continually look to the wrong places to feel valuable. We look at how well we perform at various functions rather than accepting that we are valuable simply because we are our kids’ moms and we are loves and needed because of that.”

It brought to mind what a priest once told me. I was talking about my desire to make our home a pleasant place for my husband and children…a sort of haven from the world. Father told me that one of the noblest tasks a wife and mother has is to make her home “a piece of heaven on earth”. (He said a bit more but I’ll save that for another post.)

It has been years since he said that to me but it stuck with me. Sometimes it is in the back of my head and sometimes it is in front of my face in big, neon lights – as it is now. There are many things I want to improve in as a mother but for now, in my own way, I’ve made our home a little haven (A messy haven perhaps, but I’m working on it.) Brian has told me that when he gets off work he wants nothing more but to come home and be with me and our family. My children want nothing more than for me to hug and cuddle and play with them because right now I am their world.

So in the end, it doesn’t really matter whether I baked my own bread or picked up a loaf at the store. It doesn’t matter that I’m better at pinning a photo of a beautiful garden at Pinterest than growing one myself. What matters is that I love my kids and they love me. The smiles on their faces must mean that I am doing something right!

Realizing/Rediscovering Our Talents

“Tremendous amounts of energy leave us daily because we exhaust it in trying what not to be rather than embracing what we want to do.”

It’s funny that once I stopped comparing myself to my perceived super moms (after all, I am seeing a tiny, sanitized glimpse of their lives,) I started seeing that I possessed some of those same talents that I admired in them. It is as if my creative side woke up. I started posting on my blog again because I love having an outlet to write. I’ve tried new recipes and found cooking fun again. I’ve started organizing small sections of the house and realized I, too, could be organized (relatively speaking. 😉 Instead of complaining about the baby pounds (and then some) I still need to lose, I got a hair cut and bought a new top that flatters. I know these are just little things and it may seem insignificant to someone else but right now, with my busy life, they are positive things that I can handle…which brings me to another topic that hit home.

Open to the Holy Spirit

Dr. Meeker tells the story of a woman who started a ministry for teen girls. Although I am not in a position to do anything like that, she says, “Our calling comes through a series of providential occurrences.” I love that! It shows that it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing, what matters is that I am doing my job to the best of my ability and right now I am taking care of kids 24/7. I’m not called to do a ministry outside the home right now because my ministry is here in my home.

However, when we turn our day and our lives over to the Holy Spirit each morning, He works through us in ways that fit into our state in life. The “providential occurrences” happen and we are given an opportunity to serve. For me, it could be making a meal for a new mom or being a listening ear to a friend struggling with a heavy cross. As time goes by and I am out of the demanding newborn/toddler/preschooler years, then I’ll be able to serve God in other ways that require more time and energy than I can give right now. I simply need to focus on my own tasks at hand and keep in mind that I am a daughter of God with immeasurable value. The joy and contentment that brings, even when things get chaotic, helps me to realize Habit #1.

Catholic Baby Shower Ideas

By bobbi
July 21, 2011
5 Comments

There are numerous cute baby shower activities available but here are a few that are geared more towards the Catholic mom.

Catholic Baby Shower Activities

Here is a rosary you can say during the baby shower or print up and give as a gift to the mom-to-be.

Activity – The Catholic Baby Shower Rosary – Joyful Mysteries

The First Joyful Mystery: The Annunciation

The angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph. The angel said to Mary, “Hail full of grace! The Lord is with you. Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:26-29, 38)

Blessed Mother, through your humility and obedience God’s plan of salvation was put into motion by a simple “yes.” May (NAME) be given the grace to say yes to God in the small and big things of her life, so that she, too, may participate in God’s plan of salvation through her vocation as a wife and mother.

The Second Joyful Mystery: The Visitation

Mary entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb; and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! (Luke 1:40-42)

Blessed Mother, when Elizabeth heard your greeting, the baby leapt in her womb and she rejoiced that the mother of her Savior would come to her. May (NAME) be continuously blessed with your presence in her life, as you rejoice in her joys and comfort her during her struggles.

The Third Joyful Mystery: The Birth of Jesus

They were in Bethlehem when the time came for Mary to have her child, and she gave birth to a son, her firstborn. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger. (Luke 2:6-7)

Blessed Mother, on the day your son Jesus was born, the heavens were filled with songs of praise. May you protect and strengthen (NAME) as she prepares for the birth of her (SON/DAUGHTER/CHILD) and may she be blessed with a safe and healthy pregnancy and delivery.

The Fourth Joyful Mystery: The Presentation

When the day came for the purification according to the law of Moses, Mary and Joseph brought the baby Jesus up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord. Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, “He shall stand as a sign of contradiction, while a sword will pierce your own soul.” (Luke 2:22, 34, 35)
Blessed Mother, in the temple you presented the Child Jesus and trusted that God would guide you in caring for Him and raising Him to live out God’s will. May (NAME) be granted the grace to raise her (SON/DAUGHTER/CHILD) in God’s love so that (HE/SHE) may also love God and desire His will above all else.

The Fifth Joyful Mystery: The Finding in the Temple

When Jesus was twelve years old, he went up to Jerusalem with his parents, according to the custom for the feast. After the festival was over, Mary and Joseph returned, but the boy Jesus remained in Jerusalem and his parents did not know it. On the third day, they found him in the Temple sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. (Luke 2:42-43, 46)

Blessed Mother, after finding Jesus in the Temple, you and Joseph returned to your home in Nazareth and lived your lives as a family united in God’s love. May (MOM’S NAME) and (Dad’s NAME) be strengthened in their love for you and each other, so that together they may raise a holy family seeking to live each day with heroic charity.

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This is a game that tests your knowledge about the guest of honor.

Activity – The How Well Do Your Know The Mama? Game

Directions: Each person fills out the questionnaire about their guest of honor. The one with the most correct answers wins.

1. When is her baby due?
2. What is her middle name?
3. Where was she born?
4. What is her favorite dessert?
5. Is she a morning, afternoon or night person?
6. Where does she go to church?
7. Which image of Our Lady is most special to her?
8. Is she a cradle Catholic or a convert?
9. What year did she get married?
10. If she could do anything for 3 hours (with NO children), what would it be?
(Thanks to Katie S. for the idea!)

* * * * *

I always did well on this game because my purse/diaper bag is always packed with way too much stuff. LOL.

Activity – The “Catholic” Purse Game

Needed: Pencil/pen and paper for each player.

Directions: Call off the items. If the player has that item in her purse then she adds the points to her total. The one with the most points wins.

Note: Here are some ideas of items someone may have in their purse. You can cater the items to the crowd. If there are more ladies without kids then have less mom-orientated items etc.

5 Point Items

Rosary
Photo of your kids
Key chain with a religious theme
Receipt for baby supplies (diapers, clothes, etc)
Prayer card
Tissue pack

10 Point Items
Photo of your husband
Church Missal
Calendar/Planner (paper or electric) with the baby shower date scheduled
Something with a bible scripture on it.
Binky/pacifier
Brush or comb
Kiddie snack (ie. cheerios, fishy crackers)

15 Point Items
Appointment card or receipt for a mani/pedi
Church bulletin
Mini screwdriver, scissors or pocket knife
Five or more keys on your key chain
(Thanks to Katie S. for the idea!)

* * * * *

Shower Ideas to Benefit the Mom-to-Be

Personal Notes for the Mom-to-Be

At one shower for a friend (who had a miracle pregnancy after years of infertility), the guests wanted to thank her for all the ways she touched their lives. There was this frame on a table with blank note cards for the guests.

The words in the frame reads: Over the years, (Name) has blessed us with her tremendous gift of “spiritual motherhood.” We want to honor her for the countless times she has nurtured us. If you recall an instance when you felt especially blessed by (Names)’s friendship (be it through her prayers, her listening ear or her encouragement), please use these cards to write down a quick note for (Name). We’ll present her with everyone’s cards and she’ll have these as a beautiful keepsake for years to come!

If notes of thanks aren’t really suitable, you could also do notes to a new mom having guests write down their top suggestion or words of encouragement to a new mom. It’ll be a nice reminder to her on those early frazzled days.

* * * * *

Pre-Addressed Thank You Cards

At one shower, the host had a great idea of purchasing a box of blank thank you cards for the mom. Each guest addressed the envelopes with her own address. Then when the new mom was ready to send her thank you notes they were already addressed for her. As an added treat you could also put stamps on them for her.

* * * * *

Meal Sign-Up Sheet

Have a sign up sheet for guests who would like to bring a meal to the mom-to-be after she has the baby. You can decorate your own sheet on the computer or buy a sheet of baby theme cardstock at the craft store. The guests can sign their name and info (phone number or email address if you don’t already have them.) After the baby is born the meal coordinator can contact the volunteer chefs.

There are great online services such as FoodTidings.com and CareCalendar.org that allows you to organize everything online and sends out all the necessary family info (ie. dietary restrictions, best times to call, what nights and meals other people are cooking etc). It helps this group act of kindness run a lot smoother!

As an added suggestion, when a friend brought me a meal after I had John Paul, she included her delicious soup/stew in a number of small disposable containers that I could put in the freezer. They were perfect individual servings for those days when I was too busy to make a hot lunch. I loved it!

* * * * *

Gift Suggestions for the Catholic Baby

(I am always looking for a cute and unique Catholic baby gift. Let me know if you have a suggestion! )

Saint Softies

This is the original “Saint Softie” from Saintly Silver & Saintly Sewing at Etsy.com/shop/SaintlySilver. There are not only the usual saints such as this cute St. Therese but lesser known saints such as St. Liliane and St. Peregrine. (Note: These are handmade to order so you have to order 3-4 weeks in advance of when you need it.)

* * * * *

Holy Baby Plush

The Rosary Project.com sells the Holy Baby Plush Toys.Aavailable are Baby Bosco, Puppy Grigio, Baby Scholastica, and a Holy Baby Ball with rattle.

* * * * *

Gift Suggestions for the Mom-to-Be

(Some of these ideas aren’t necessarily Catholic but they are things I have received in the past and still love.)

Prayerfully Expecting: A Nine-Month Novena for Mothers to Be
by Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle

This book is a beautiful compilation of prayers with the pregnant mom in mind. Each month begins with a summary of how your baby is growing and then various prayers and novenas that can be said for you, your baby and your family. At the end of each chapter there is a space for you write your own reflections. I have really enjoyed this book during my last two pregnancies.

NOTE: Since first posting this, there are a number of Catholic pregnancy books that have come out. I will add their links soon-ish.

* * * * *

Pregnancy Calendar by Russ

When I pregnant with Bella, a friend gave me the Pregnancy Calendar by Russ. I loved using it and had bought another one for each child since. You fill in the calendar with your own dates and each week tells you something about your baby’s development and each month has helpful hints for your pregnancy. There are also plenty of stickers to record things such as when you told your family or when you felt the first kick or when you had your baby shower. I hung the calendar in the kitchen and the kids loved to see what day we were on and what was happening to the baby that week. We’ve had a lot of fun using it.

* * * * *

Journal

When I was first pregnant with Bella, I started a tradition of keeping a pregnancy journal addressed to “my little one.” It was nice to have “conversations” with each child and share what I was going through with their pregnancy and what I hoped for their future. After their births, I try to update their journals on their birthdays so they can get a glimpse of how they are progressing and how our family is growing. I am not sure when I will give the journal to each child but I am hoping that one day they will really enjoy reading it.

(Above is a pic of my journals: Bella’s, Andrew’s, John-Paul’s and the latest – Matthew’s. You can also read my journal to Bella here. Excerpts of Andrew’s will be posted soon.)

For a mom who does not normally journal, you can start her off easily by getting her the Mom’s One Line a Day: A Five-Year Memory Book. Instead of a daunting blank page, there is room for just a sentence or two to record a highlight of the day. I have one and I love it! This is especially great for new moms to record the highlight of their week, “Today I showered! Hoorah.” 😉

* * * * *

Basket of Goodies for the Mom-to-Be

Baby showers are filled with beautiful gifts for the precious little one but Mama needs a little pampering too! You can fill a basket (or a pretty organizer bin like this that can be reused later) with items such as Mama Bee products, lotions, bath soap, a book, chocolate (or other favorite treat), gift certificate to a maternity store, to the movies or for a pedicure or whatever else she would enjoy.

* * * * *

For the Guests – Votive Candle with Birth Prayer

Gift Item for the Guests – Votive Candle with Birth Prayer

When my sister-in-law and brother were expecting their first child I wrote a short prayer for them and printed it on blue cardstock (since they were having a boy.) I purchased a pack of blue votive candles and glass holders and wrapped them in tulle. The prayer was attached to the candle with yellow ribbon and a cute diaper pin. (You can also use tea candles if you want to cut the cost.)

The candles can be given to the guests as a parting gift. When the mom-to-be goes into labor have someone call, email, or text the others to light their votive candle and say a prayer.

You can use the following prayer (fill in your own names) or another prayer, a poem, scripture verse, etc instead.

Prayer for the Votive Candles

Heavenly Father, We place (MOM’S NAME) & (DAD’S NAME) into your hands as they prepare for the birth of their child (BABY’S NAME IF KNOWN). Give (MOM) strength of body, mind and spirit. Calm her fears and bring peace to her heart. Protect her and (BABY) from all harm and may they have a safe and healthy delivery. St. Joseph, protector of the family, give (DAD) strength, courage and compassion as he helps (MOM) during labor. Mother Mary, watch over (DAD), (MOM) & little (BABY) today & always. May they grow in their love for God & forever be a shining light of Christ in the world. Amen

* * * * *

I hope you enjoyed these! If you have some of your own ideas you’d like to share, post it in the comment box or email me at rol@revolutionoflove.com.

PS – Here are links to other ideas:

Catholic Baby Shower Idea – A Shower of Roses. It is fabulous!

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – vol 6: flashback edition

By bobbi
July 21, 2011
3 Comments

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~

My camera battery has been dead all week and I couldn’t find my charger so this week I am posting photos from the last few years. I had so many to choose from that I picked two for each category.

{pretty}

Here is Bella when she was the flower girl for my brother and sister-in-law’s wedding. She is holding the flowers to be given to Our Lady.

*****

This is such a pretty cake! My mother-in-law bought this for my birthday a year or two ago. I think I was turning 35 (again…and again…and again…)

{happy}

Here is Bella and Andrew enjoying a lollipop after a walk in downtown Carmel.

*****

Here is one of the three kids playing on the floor. 🙂

{funny}

I was looking at old Halloween pictures and found these two favorite ones. Here is Andrew dressed as St. Francis for an All Saint’s Day party.

*****

Here is John-Paul as a mustached fireman. LOL!

{real}

Here is a photo of Andrew when he was playing with his Walle toy. He dumped out the remaining animal crackers and crushed them up to make a desert landscape. What a mess.

*****

Here is John-Paul playing IN the dishwasher. And I just noticed that JP is wearing Andrew’s old pajamas from the photo above. Maybe it’s the pajamas that have a mischievous effect. 🙂

Start Your St. Anne & St. Joachim Novena Today (July 17)

By bobbi
July 18, 2011
4 Comments

The feast day of St. Ann and St. Joachim is coming up on July 26. If you’d like to make a novena to them, today is the day to start!

Both saints have always been very close to my heart. St. Ann is my patron saint and when I was single I would especially pray to her and St. Joachim to find a good man & holy spouse. (Along with my novena to Bl. Anne Marie Tiagi.) After I was married I especially prayed to them when Brian and I were dealing with infertility and miscarriage.

Yesterday I found an old box of holy cards and prayer pamphlets and inside was the small prayer booklet I had used all those years ago. It is called “Good Saint Anne” by Rev. Lawrence G. Lovasik, S.V.D. Here is the particular prayer I said.

Prayer to St. Anne and St. Joachim

Great and glorious patriarch, St Joachim, and good St Anne, what joy is mine when I consider that you were chosen among all God’s holy ones to assist in the fulfillment of the mysteries of God, and to enrich our earth with the great Mother of God, Mary most holy. By this singular privilege, you have become most powerful with both the Mother and her Son, so as to be able to obtain for us the graces that are needful to us.

With great confidence I have recourse to your mighty protection, and I commend to you all my needs, both spiritual and temporal, and those of my family. Especially do I entrust to your keeping the particular favor that I desire and look for from your intercession. (Mention your petition.)

And since you were a perfect pattern of the interior life, obtain for me the grace to pray earnestly, and never to set m heart on the passing goods of this life. Give me a lively and enduring love for Jesus and Mary. Obtain for me also a sincere devotion and obedience to Holy church and the sovereign pontiff who rules over her, in order that I may live an die in faith and hope and perfect charity. Let me ever invoke the holy Names of Jesus and Mary. And may I thus be saved. Amen.

There is also a great Nine Day Novena to St. Anne at EWTN.com.

St. Anne and St. Joachim, pray for us!

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NCRegister.com Blog: Any Good Fiction for Christians?

By bobbi
July 15, 2011
No Comments

Columnist Matthew Archbold asks Any Good Fiction for Christians?

I’m a reader. I read anything and everything. I’m always on the lookout for new authors and while I enjoy non-fiction my first love is good fiction. I went to the bookstore tonight and browsed the Christian fiction section and didn’t see anything that jumped out at me. So I browsed the Literature/Fiction section and perused a number of books that had New York Times recommendations and other awards but I put them down because, so often, I find these books are well written but ultimately devoid of any hope or meaning.
I’ve read at least half a dozen books this year that I had hopes for that about halfway through just got slogged down in despair and meaningless where the denouement consisted of the main character essentially shrugging their shoulders and just accepting the meaninglessness of an accidental life on a rock hurtling aimlessly through space. Blech!
So I’m truly asking for your recommendations for well written modern fiction that has a bit of hope and faith. And I’m not talking just about “beat you over the head” Christian fiction where you overlook the awful writing in exchange for a good message.
Whether it’s good literature like the beautifully written “Gilead” by Marilynne Robinson or in a different way Dean Koontz novels because he has a hope filled view of life in his stories as well as suspenseful story telling.
So I’m asking for your help in finding decent hope filled fiction with good writing and good stories. Please give your recommendations in the combox because I’m sure I’m not the only one looking for something good and worthwhile to read.

He’s not the only one! While Brian reads five books to my one book, we both love good fiction. I’ll be browsing the comment box and filling my Amazon wish list. 🙂

Revolution of Love

Do small things with great love.

Blog Archives

Book Discussion: 10 Habits of Happy Mothers – Habit #1

Catholic Baby Shower Ideas

Catholic Baby Shower Activities

Shower Ideas to Benefit the Mom-to-Be

Gift Suggestions for the Catholic Baby

Gift Suggestions for the Mom-to-Be

For the Guests – Votive Candle with Birth Prayer

{pretty, happy, funny, real} – vol 6: flashback edition

Start Your St. Anne & St. Joachim Novena Today (July 17)

NCRegister.com Blog: Any Good Fiction for Christians?