Mom’s Eulogy: Saying Goodbye

By bobbi
January 19, 2019
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Thank you to everyone who prayed for us during my mom’s illness and passing. You have been with me through it all and I have appreciated all the messages and prayers. Some of you wanted to read my mom’s eulogy after I read the first paragraph in Instastories. I am happy to share it with you.

Mom’s Eulogy

I remember once watching the Sound of Music with my mom. She told me that the first time she saw the movie, she really identified with Maria. She, too, thought about joining the convent and dedicating her life to God. But as the movie progressed, and Maria fell in love with the Captain and became a mom to many children, she thought oh, no, no, no. Her life would be nothing like that. Well, sometimes life doesn’t turn out as you planned. Little did she know that she would dedicate her life to God, but it would be as a wife and mom to many children.

If I had to describe my mom in five words –it would be strong, faith-filled, caring, outgoing and funny. Even when she was sick at the end of her life, those traits were still there, in fact, they were even more apparent.

Mom was the strongest person I ever knew, and not because she was perfect. As the oldest, I saw her in the days before God was a part of her life. But, I also saw how God completely transformed her life. With her healing and facing the pain of her childhood, she broke the cycle of dysfunction of generations and with my dad she started a new family life rooted in Christ.

As a result, her nine children are all decent people, 😉 but more importantly, they love God and they’re living for God. That is her greatest legacy – the faith she passed on to new generations in our family. In that faith, she taught us that it was more than just going to church on Sundays. She lived her faith 24/7. It was just a part of who she was. This was especially apparent in her love language of service. She was generous and always doing something to help someone else. She did not hesitate to change her schedule around just to help us, even if it meant driving hundreds of miles to be with us when we needed her most. Whether she was helping family, a friend, cleaning the houses of a parish priest, or visiting someone in the hospital, she shared her love by helping others.

However, mom wasn’t a quiet and shrinking violet type of Catholic. She was more like a John the Baptist. She wasn’t afraid to speak up. She didn’t let worry about what others would think stop her from sharing something that was essential for the good of that person. It was always done out of love, but it was done. This extended to the protection of her family. When she was in Mama Bear mode, watch out. She fought fiercely for those she loved.

However, mom was also very down to earth and friendly. We would marvel at the way she could make friends with complete strangers as she waited in line at the grocery store. She was at ease talking to other people. And how she loved to make people laugh! She loved getting a room going with one of her stories. Some of my fondest memories were of her dancing in the kitchen with my dad, being goofy, laughing and joking around. She was the fun grandma who played with her grandkids, went on rides at Disneyland and made sure the kitchen was stocked with their favorite snacks. Mom knew how to have fun, how to find joy in the mundane and she knew how to laugh at life. Even on her deathbed, she was making jokes and plotting how we could smuggle into her ICU room a slice of chocolate cream pie and a Coors Light beer.

But in the end, just being with mom made you happy. Although there were nine of us kids, mom managed to make each of us feel loved and special. That love of family only intensified in the last days of her life. I’ll never forget the smile on her face when she was finally brought home. It brings to mind some of the last words she spoke to us. She was not afraid to die and was at peace with God’s will and she said, “

I lived a good life. I’ve had a lot of fun with you guys. Our lives weren’t perfect, but one thing we did always have was love in our hearts for each other, forgiveness and mercy. When push came to shove, we were always there for each other no matter what our differences. And that was important to me. And what’s also important to me is that you pass on this faith and teach your little guys. I see that in all of you, being such a good examples to the children and producing beautiful vines for the future.

We will do our best to carry on mom’s legacy and although we’ll all miss mom’s laughs, hugs, feistiness, words of wisdom, and emoji filled texts, we know that she hasn’t left us alone and she is watching over us and praying for us even more now. We love you, mom. We’ll miss you.

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My 2019 Word and Saint(s) of the Year

By bobbi
January 16, 2019
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Word of the Year

For the past few years I have been participating in the practice of choosing a word and a saint of the year. In November, my word became clear to me – rooted. I desired to grow deeper in my love of Christ and to not let worries or crosses sway my faith. I called to mind the parable of the Sower.

“Hear then the parable of the sower. The seed sown on the path is the one who hears the word of the kingdom without understanding it, and the evil one comes and steals away what was sown in his heart. The seed sown on rocky ground is the one who hears the word and receives it at once with joy. But he has no root and lasts only for a time. When some tribulation or persecution comes because of the word, he immediately falls away. The seed sown among thorns is the one who hears the word, but then worldly anxiety and the lure of riches choke the word and it bears no fruit. But the seed sown on rich soil is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.” (Matthew 13: 18-23)

I knew that this year was going to be a difficult one with my mom’s illness. I knew that my heart needed to be planted firmly in Christ in order to weather the storm. I just hadn’t realized how soon that cross would present itself. My word had to be put to the test the first week of the new year with the death of my mom, but blessed be God, He provided the grace to endure without being angry and bitter. (Well, not angry at God. As for the cancer, I’d like to beat the @#$% out of it.)

The year is still young and I don’t know what is coming next, but good or bad, I pray my heart remains rooted in Christ and that I praise His name, no matter what is going on in my life.

Saint(s) of the Year

In mid-2018, especially around the time that I attended the Blessed Is She Wild retreat, St. John the Baptist had been knocking on my heart. I remember writing about him in one of my Blessed Is She devotions, Here is a portion of what I wrote:

I shared with my friend Liz that I didn’t feel comfortable with John the Baptist. He intimidated me with him camel hair wearing and locust eating ways. He seemed loud, forceful and no nonsense. For someone who didn’t like confrontation, he wasn’t exactly endearing. I laughed when Liz said she had thought the same thing. However, she shared that something changed in her perception. He became her “saint of the year” (when you choose a saint to learn about and ask for their prayers.) Liz got to know St. John through prayer and eventually she saw another side to him – a gentle, humble soul completely committed to Our Lord.

I always thought that John the Baptist was completely out of reach and so unlike me, but I think I have it wrong. God wants me to be *more* like him, not in the camel hair and locusts way, (at least I hope not!) but in having a love for Our Lord so deep that it has to be shared, even in the face of death. Like St. John and Liz, I want the Holy Spirit so alive in me that people are inspired to love God more.

He has not left my mind and I knew God wanted me to get to know him better in 2019. However, he was not the only St. John knocking on the door of my heart. I was also drawn to St. John the Apostle. At first, it came out of my recent habit of making a weekly Holy Hour. Although sitting quietly praying for an hour is not easy for me, I loved the thought of visiting Jesus and keeping him company. I wanted to be a comfort to his Sacred Heart, like a beloved disciple. I also saw St. John the Apostle as someone who was completely rooted in the love of Jesus, as well as St. John the Baptist being completely rooted in Jesus no matter what turmoil was going on around him. So this year I decided to adopt both John’s as my saints of the year.

Again, my mom’s death has caused me to look to John the Apostle and follow his example of standing at the foot of the cross watching someone you loved dearly die. And now that I have the task of delivering my mom’s eulogy at her funeral, I am turning to St. John the Baptist to intercede and pray that I have the strength to speak the words in my heart with bravery and composure.

How about you? What is your word and/or saint of the year?

Saying Goodbye to My Mom & Funeral Fund

By bobbi
January 11, 2019
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Pictured: My mom on her birthday in June. Photo credit: my sis-in-law Maria. // Me & mom at the Mission. // Mom and dad with their grandchildren two years ago. There have been three more added since then! Photo credit: Felicity Photography.

Dear Family and Friends,

Thank you for all your prayers, love, and support, particularly during the final days of my mom’s life. You have been with me on this journey through social media from the moment I found out that she had cancer, to the day I kissed her goodbye for the last time. Brian thinks I’m a little crazy for sharing such a vulnerable part of my life with “strangers” but he doesn’t understand that we’re more than strangers. We’ve become like a little Catholic online community loving and supporting one another through the good and the tragic.

So thank you for being there for me, for my mom and my family. My mom keenly felt your prayers and she offered up her suffering for each of you that were praying for her. And now that she is no longer bound to the constrains of this earthy life, I know she has doubled down on her prayers and is still interceding for us, because that’s just the kind of person mom was.

Arrangements have been made for Mom’s funeral and burial. It will take place a week from today on Friday, January 18, 2019. Many of you have sent me messages asking about sending flowers or how you can help the family. I talked to my siblings and we decided that in lieu of flowers, we’d set up the Dolores Cardenas Funeral Fund for my dad to help him pay for my mom’s funeral and her medical expenses, which comes to roughly $15,000. (Please do not feel obligated to give. This is only for those who’ve asked – https://paypal.me/revolutionoflove.)

Foremost, my mom made me promise that I’d ask people to pray for her after she passed, that her soul would be happy and at peace with Jesus. In the end she was not afraid to die. She was ready to go home to her Savior. I pray she is happy with Him now. <3

Thanks again and love to you.

Prayer Request: Rosaries for Dolores

By bobbi
June 28, 2018
2 Comments

Hi friends, many of you have been following along on social media, and you know that we recently found out that my mom’s cancer has returned. She has been debating what to do about it and after your outpouring of love and prayers she is ready to fight it with chemo and radiation.

A friend of mine suggested that I set do the 54 day rosary novena for her and ask my friends to join. I wasn’t sure how I would do that but then I saw that Micaela did something similar (but with Holy Hours) for Kendra and her husband Jim, who is also fighting cancer. So, I put together a page were you could sign up to say a rosary for my mom on one of the 54 days. (The first 27 days are for petition and the second 27 days for thanksgiving.)

We will begin on June 30th and end on August 22, the feast of the Queenship of Mary.

Pictured: My mom on her birthday last week. Photo credit: my sis-in-law Maria. // Me & mom at the Mission. // Mom and dad with their grandchildren two years ago. There have been three more added since then! Photo credit: Felicity Photography.

We are praying this rosary for these intentions:

For Dolores’ strength physically, mentally and spiritually during her treatment.
For the strength and patience of the family members who will be caring for her during treatment.
For mom’s healing from cancer, if it be God’s will.
For peace of heart and complete trust and surrender at the hands of Our Father for all involved.

We are also asking for the intercession of Our Lady Queen of Heaven and Earth, St. Peregrine, St Terese of the Little Flower and Fr. Luis Marx (a very holy family friend/priest who recently died.)

Here is the link to sign up – http://signup.com/go/qPUZpFp

A big thank you to all of you who have already been praying and especially for those of you who will take this extra step of offering up a rosary. Heartfelt thanks from my mom, me and my family!

September/ October 2017 Goals

By bobbi
September 22, 2017
2 Comments

RevolutionofLove.com - sept_oct_goals

September is speeding by and today is the first day of Fall! This time of year always feels like a fresh start to me, even more than January 1st. After the care free days of summer, I am ready to get back into a routine of school and fall activities. At this point I also like to re-evaluate the goals I made at the beginning of January. Some goals still need work. Some goals were accomplished, so I can focus on a different area. Taking some time to review helps me to make the most of these last months of 2017.

I like to divide my goals into five main areas of my life – as a daughter of God, wife, mother, homemaker and woman. Here are some specific things I want to work on over the next month or so.

* * *

Goal #1: I want to nurture my relationship with God, especially my prayer life.

Why this goal?

I love God but I want to love Him more deeply and more faithfully because I am His daughter and He has done so much for me.

Starting Steps:

Pray the Morning Offering as soon as I wake. (No checking emails, news or social media first.)
Spend time in morning prayer – During my morning beach walk, I’ll listen to the readings of the day (using the iMissal app) and listen to the Blessed Is She devotion of the day (using the “speak” feature on my iPhone) and pray all/part of the rosary.
Intentional prayer/ sacrifice during the day – When doing household chores, especially those I dislike the most (I’m looking at you, laundry) offer the chore up for a special intention.
Night prayer – Finish praying the rosary (if not completed in the morning) and do a night exam.
Mass – Add one daily Mass each week.

* * *

Goal #2: Nurture my relationship with Brian by spending more one-on-one time with him, being more appreciative of all he does for us and treat him with greater respect (not like he’s my 5th kid.)

Why this goal?

I want to be a loving wife and show Brian how much I appreciate him. Our time together will help us reconnect, nurture our friendship and keep our marriage strong.

Starting Steps:

Talk Time – Sometimes I am doing so much in the evening to prep for the next day, I don’t give Brian my undivided attention to just chat and catch up. I’ll give him that time in the evening before we turn on the TV to watch something.
Date nights – We currently go out once a month but now that Bela is older and can babysit more, I’d like to up it to every other week or at least 2x a month.
Daily act of kindness for Brian. – I haven’t done this in the last couple of months but I’d like to be intentional once again. It was such a positive thing for both of us. I’ll print out the list I made and add it to my planner for inspiration. For more info, refer to – 25 Acts of Kindness for your Husband.

* * *

Goal #3: Give the kids more one-on-one time, both with homework and at play. Also give them more responsibility and challenge them to grow as a young person.

Why this goal?

Spending more quality time together will strengthen our relationship and have fun as a family. As their mom I am responsible to help them become more productive, to work as a team and to resist being lazy and self-centered.

Starting Steps:

Get all of my work done by 2:00 PM so I have the afternoons free to help the kids with homework. – That includes leaving the phone alone.
Update the after school chore chart. – I want to include Bella with this and spend time giving her more life lessons (cooking, doing laundry, balancing a checkbook etc) since she’ll be going away to college in a couple years. (gasp!)
Plan weekend outings or family time unplugged.

* * *

Goal #4: Improve my homemaking by spending less, decluttering what we already have and using my time wisely, especially in regards to meal planning.

Why this goal?

When our home life is tidy and organized there is much more peace.

Starting Steps:

Update our monthly budget and keep a daily log of spending.
Return to daily 15-30 minute declutter/ organizational task.
Update recipe binder and make a “Favorite Meals” reference list. – I am always stumped on what to make for dinner each week so if I had a list of meals that worked well for dinner I could have a little more variety.
On Sundays, meal plan for the week. – This is especially important because if I am in the throes of homework or after school activities, I can’t be worried about “what should I cook tonight?” When it’s planned, the guesswork (and added stress) is taken out.

* * *

Goal #5 – Continue to work on improving my health; nurture creativity with photography and hand lettering; challenge myself to be brave when I am out of my comfort zone.

Why this goal?

Physically, to be healthier and present in my family’s life. Creatively, being creative brings me joy. Mentally, I’ll feel more myself and less like I am hiding the real me.

Starting Steps:

Physically: 5x a week morning walk at least 20-30 minutes.
Physically: Add 2x week strength training. – I need to start by looking up program/videos for beginners. Any suggestions?
Physically: Continue daily water, vitamins and weekdays in bed by 11 PM. – Not staying up late is soo hard for me!!
Creativity: Return to my photography challenge. – See what I’ve done this year so far on Instagram with #rolphotochallenges.
Creativity: In evenings work on handlettering drills while watching TV.
Mentally: In social situations do something out of my comfort zone. – I’m sort of an extroverted introvert when I’m around strangers so I sometimes feel like I don’t show the “real” me.

I’m using Lara Casey’s goal making system and broke everything down into monthly, weekly and daily tasks. I may not get everything done but even a little progress is still progress! 🙂

What about you? Do you make goals? What is the one thing that you really want to work on this month(s)? Do share!

PPS – Disclaimer: “Revolution of Love.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.”
In other words, if you click on my affiliated links and make a purchase, I get a small compensation that goes towards keeping the blog online. Big hugs to those who click and help support the blog! xoxo 🙂

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Revolution of Love

Do small things with great love.

Category Archives: family chit chat

Mom’s Eulogy: Saying Goodbye

My 2019 Word and Saint(s) of the Year

Word of the Year

Saint(s) of the Year

Saying Goodbye to My Mom & Funeral Fund

Prayer Request: Rosaries for Dolores

September/ October 2017 Goals

Goal #1: I want to nurture my relationship with God, especially my prayer life.

Goal #2: Nurture my relationship with Brian by spending more one-on-one time with him, being more appreciative of all he does for us and treat him with greater respect (not like he’s my 5th kid.)

Goal #3: Give the kids more one-on-one time, both with homework and at play. Also give them more responsibility and challenge them to grow as a young person.

* * *

Goal #4: Improve my homemaking by spending less, decluttering what we already have and using my time wisely, especially in regards to meal planning.

* * *

Goal #5 – Continue to work on improving my health; nurture creativity with photography and hand lettering; challenge myself to be brave when I am out of my comfort zone.