15): Brian & Opa Updates & Lent Preparations

By bobbi
January 24, 2015
10 Comments

Wow, yesterday was a hell of a day. For those of you following on Instagram and Facebook, you’ve heard the initial news, but I’ve included a few updates as well. I am also linking up with Kelly for Seven Quick Takes Friday…but on a Saturday.

~ 1 ~

(FRIDAY RECAP – If you haven’t already heard.)

Brian and his dad Bill sharing a bday party last year.

Okay, so yesterday morning as Brian was preparing for his cancer testing stuff, we got a call from my mother-in-law (Elizabeth) that my father-in-law (Bill) had a stroke. he couldn’t move and he was rushed to the ER. I freaked out. Brian freaked out. Bella (who was home sick) freaked out.

Luckily, our freak out was short lived. We got a grip and tried to figure out what to do next. Brian’s mom said we should continue with Brian’s testing since there was nothing we could do at the moment. I told Brian a cancer-free diagnosis would give his parents the boost they needed right now. (Also knowing the opposite diagnosis would pretty much do them both in and maybe me along with them.)

I left Brian at the testing center, told them I’d be back and headed to the hospital. I only got to see Bill for a couple seconds but he looked really bad. (Secretly, I am glad Brian didn’t see him in that state.) The docs decided to move Bill to Stanford Medical Center. They needed to preform surgery to get the blood clot out of his head. I kissed Bill on the head and prayed he survived the drive and then the surgery. ( I also pleased with God to let him survive the surgery otherwise Brian would never get to say goodbye if he didn’t.)

After picking up the kids from school I headed back to Brian to pick him up. When they led me into his room/cubby he had “that look” on his face and I wondered if he was worried about his dad or worried about the prognosis he was given. He immediately asked about his dad but I told him to hold up, what did his doctor say?? No cancer.

Siiiiiiiigh! A HUGE weight fell off my shoulders. He had one polyp but they removed it and it didn’t look cancerous at all. It’ll be tested of course but doc said everything looked good. I can’t tell you how relieved I was. Like the angels were singing from on high.

Now I could deal with my FIL and helping him get better. I filled Brian in on the details and told him that if anyone could pull through this, it was Dad. He is the most stubborn and feisty (as well as generously loving) man I know and he wouldn’t let this beat him if he had anything to do with it. Brian just smiled.

Fast forward to later that evening. Brian was not able to travel yet so a family friend drove my MIL to Stanford. They finally called in the evening and told us that the surgery was successful. The doc had been worried that it wouldn’t work but he got the clot out and Opa was recovering nicely. When he came to, his speech was a little slurred and he was a disorientated but my MIL said he was insistent that she call me and let me know that he wouldn’t be able to pick up the kids from school today. That touched my heart. It showed you where his mind was – thinking about his precious grandchildren, who were now asleep in bed. 🙂

~ 2 ~

SATURDAY UPDATE

Opa with John-Paul and Matthew a couple years back.

This morning Brian drove to Stanford with his mom. I decided to stay home with the kids since my FIL is in the ICU and they can’t go in there. I just got off the phone with Brain and he said the MRI looked good, dad’s speech was much clearer and although he was still confused a bit (concerned about wanting to pick up the kids) he carried on a conversation and understood what they were saying. Brian said there are moments when he talks like himself and other times when he can’t figure out where he is and why we won’t give him his car keys to leave. We made him a Get Well card with photos of the family and he told Brian that was the only medicine he needed. Lastly, he starts physical therapy tomorrow and may be able to come home as soon as Tuesday or Wednesday. Brian just kept saying, “Its a miracle.” Seeing how bad be was yesterday and considering his advanced age, I’d tend to agree! Now we just have to adjust to the new version of Opa and help him to cope as he heals.

~ 3 ~

Gracias!!

A big part of that was due to all your prayers!! From the “I woke up in the middle of the night and had to pray for you but didn’t know why” to the sacrifices and rosaries and to the prayers from kitchens to the convents – all of these made a difference with both Brian’s diagnosis and his dad’s recovery. Thank you!! Blessed be God!! (Did I mentioned how relieved I am!!!)

~ 4 ~

Blessed Is She Lenten Journals

The trials of the last couple of days has brought me to my knees, literally. Someone posted on FB that Lent is less than a month away. Is that possible?? I feel a like I am in Lent mode already (well, except for the fact that I ate a tad bit too much stress chocolate yesterday…)

But this morning I started preparing for Lent by ordering my Blessed Is She Lenten Journal. For those who enjoyed the Advent journal, this one is very similar but there are also a few more options, like the two beautiful 8 x 10 color prints that can be framed or placed where it will give you daily inspiration. I can feel the peace flowing already. 😉 Be sure to pre-order yours today! (The Advent journal did sell out!)

~ 5 ~

Restore Workshop

Photo credit: ElizabethFoss.com

The second thing I did for Lent was to sign up for Elizabeth Foss’ Restore Workshop. I took the course last year because I was physically and emotionally drained with Brian’s illness and trying to keep the family running smoothly. I did feel burned out and I wasn’t sure how to get out of it. The course was the balm for the soul that I desperately needed.

However, this year I debated whether or not I should take the course (for about 5 seconds) because I don’t feel burned out. Sure I still have my moments of stress and interior chaos but I feel like I am slowly working through it. However, the course did me such good! The essays. The meditations. The podcasts. The creative activities. (Can you say homemade granola??) Even now, I still go back to Elizabeth’s words and my notes and remind myself of the things God taught me.

No, I may not be burned out but I could definitely use a little TLC for my mind, body and spirit so I signed up this afternoon. The cost is $65 but it’s worth every penny. To find out more, visit NurturingJoy.com. If you click on Elizabeth’s post here, she also has a few words and a larger version of the above graphic that contains the schedule for the course.

~ 6 ~

Martha’s Still My Girl

I also wanted to mention that I switched my cleaning challenge. I’ll complete the more intense A Bowl Full of Lemon’s Challenge later in spring but for now I am doing the 31 Day to Clean: Having A Martha House the Mary Way hosted by Christian blogger and author Sarah Mae. God has been putting Mary and Martha into my life left and right and since St. Martha is my saint of the year, well, come on! It was a no brainer. I can’t exactly follow the schedule since some days I spend more time in the hospital than home (ahem) but on the other hand, when I am home sitting by the phone, like today, I find comfort in scrubbing my kitchen. (From the looks of it, I don’t sit by the phone much.) 😉 I’ve already started and I must say, it is just what I needed. I’ll blog more about it next week.

~ 7 ~

Well, I have supper to make and kids to bathe so I better stop here. Have a blessed rest of the weekend and thanks again for all the prayers! Much love to you…

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd or Instagram. 😉

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31 Days of Gratitude (Day 24 & 25): The Grace of the Cross

By bobbi
October 25, 2014
10 Comments

The 31 Days of Writing Challenge continues. It’s Day 24 – 25 of my 31 Days of Gratitude.

I started writing this last night but fell asleep so I’m finishing it in the morning and counting it as two days. 😉

* * *

(From Jan 2014, after Brian’s surgery to remove the cancerous tumor.)

As many of you know, at the beginning of the year, God asked us to travel a difficult path. In January, my husband Brian was diagnosed with cancer for the second time. He went through his second surgery to remove the cancer and this time around he had to have chemo. They surgically inserted a port into his chest. He had chemo for six months and finished his treatments in July. They won’t take the chemo port out until he has been clean for three months after treatment.

Over the last two months he’s had bloodwork and a scans and this week he went through his last round of bloodwork. We got a call from the doc yesterday and he said that everything looked good, his lymph nodes are clean and there’s no signs of growth. Brian can now schedule the removal of his port. Blessed be God!

I pray that this cancer chapter is over forever! Sometimes, I’ll start to worry, especially when he is not feeling well, that maybe it is back but I’ve got to tell myself to shut up and don’t even go there because worrying like that is no way to live. I’ve just got to enjoy each day we have togeether and not worry about what may or may not happen. Its not the easiest thing for me but I’m trying.

Now we are concentrating on helping Brian recover from the chemo. He started going to a new doctor that has a more holistic approach to medicine and together they are working on building his body and his immune system back up and working on getting the lingering chemo out.

You know, I hate the cancer that invaded Brian’s body. It brought physical pain, emotional heartache, spiritual questions (and not to mention late night binging on ice cream while I worried about being a widow.) But now that the dust has settled and our lives feel “normal” again, I can’t help but think of the Romans 8:28, “We know that all things work for good for those who love God.” There actually have been positive outcomes to this whole situation.

First, we are taking much better care of our health with diet and exercise. Goodbye double cheeseburgers; hello, salads! Good bye pan dulce and glazed donuts; hello, black bean brownies! Goodbye, couch potato; hello, walking fool. I complain about it (shocking, I know!) but it feels good to feel healthier. (I’ll talk more about the improved health next week. ;-))

This cross has also brought Brian and me closer together. We have shared such raw moments together that it was either going to drive us apart or cement us together. It brings me to tears as I type to think about just how much I love this man. He’s a gem. Funny thing is, he says the same about me. I always felt like he was the rock and I was the flighty one. To see him hold onto me for strength is disconcerting, and reassuring, at the same time. As a family, it has drawn us closer and made us more compassionate towards those who are suffering illness and their families.

Lastly, we have grown closer to God and more reliant on him. We have been reminded that life is precious and that we can’t take any day for granted. I’m trying not to get so caught up in the tedious chores of the day that I forget to see the beauty in the mess. I think we’ve also come to realize that, by the grace of God, we are much stronger than we think. I have no desire to be tested any further but that’s not the way life works. So for now, I lay it at the feet of Christ and celebrate in the blessings of today. For that, I am truly grateful.

* * *

For more 31 Days of Gratitude, visit the home page here.

Moments of Grace Daybook & Currently (3/30/14): Brian Update, Trusting God, Odds & Ends

By bobbi
March 31, 2014
6 Comments

I’m linking up my Daybook with Jenny at Plain Grace and with A Mama Collective.com. Go check them out!

AND

Moments of Gratitude…

Today I am especially thankful for

Gorgeous weekend weather
The sounds of giggles.
At home date night with Brian.
Confession and prayer time alone.
Phone calls from my mom.

Beauty in the Ordinary…

The color of Lent is blooming everywhere.

In the Kitchen…

M – Chicken Quesadillas with Salad

T – Chili Beans & Cornbread

W – Turkey Burgers and Broccoli Slaw

Th – Leftovers

F – Cauliflower Lentil Taco Salad (This is a new recipe. If it comes out okay, I’ll post it on the next Pinterest Party. If doesn’t turn out, I have tuna as a back up.) ;-))

S – Homemade Veggie Pizza & Greek Salad

S – Crock Pot Balsamic Chicken with brown rice and roasted asparagus. (Another new recipe. I’ll let you know how it goes.)

Praying…

For Brian’s chemo and continued recovery from cancer.
For all those who are fighting cancer and other illnesses.
For the women participating in the Restore Workshop, especially those with heavy crosses.
For myself, that I never take for granted all the blessings in my life and that I always turn to God first when the going gets tough.
For those who are far from God and most in need of his mercy.
For some special intentions.

At the Cancer Center.

On the homefront……

Since many have been asking how Brian is doing, here’s an update.

[For those of you who are new here, this is some background info. In Dec of 2012 Brian found out that he had colon cancer. He went through surgery and had the cancer removed. A year later he went to his routine testing and found that the cancer returned and spread to 1 1/4 of his lymph nodes. In January 2014, Brian went through surgery again to remove the colon cancer. In February, Brian had a port surgically placed in his chest in prep for chemo. This Monday (3/24/14), Brian started chemo to remove the cancer in his lymph nodes. His schedule is to go in for chemo on Monday then for two weeks he take chemo pills. The third week he has off with no meds. The following Monday he started the cycle all over again. He will do this for six rounds of chemo. He should be done with everything in mid-July.]

The first week of chemo was tough. Brian is still getting used to the side effects and illness. Each person is different but common side effects for the type of chemo he is getting is nausea, numbness in the hands and feet (they have to keep a close eye on that side effect since damage can be long lasting), aversion to cold (for a few days after his port chemo) he can’t eat, drink or touch anything cold and general pain and achiness all over.

On Friday I was really getting worried about him. He was not only hurting but seemed so down. I felt helpless and wished I could take away his pain. He went into work for a few hours and I took a few minutes to say my morning prayer. My thoughts were full of Brian when I opened up my laptop to read the Restore prayer prompts. The thought for the day was timely. It said:

“Jesus did not come to explain away suffering or to remove it. He came to fill it with his presence.” –Paul Claudel

I prayed for Brian that he would be given strength to endure the months ahead. If I can’t take away his pain, I can at least pray for him to get through it. Afterwards I read the “Act” of the day. It said:

“Can you think of a cross your husband is carrying? Even some small chore that is usually his? Carry it with him today. Smile and wink at him, too.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Who said God doesn’t have a sense of humor. But it did give me an idea of how I could help Brian. I did what I could to make the home a little more comfortable for him. Things like – clearing off his desk area of the piles of folded clothes and Star Wars toys that landed there, wipe down his bathroom (a job he usually did), I made his favorite veggies to go with dinner and took care of his one cleaning pet peeve (an unvacuumed family room.) When he got home I kept the kids quiet (relatively speaking) so he could lay down and rest. It made me feel better just to do something.

On Saturday morning, I woke up and heard the kids talking to Brian in the family room. He let me sleep in as long as I wanted. (Even with cancer, he rocks.) Thankfully, he was feeling a little better and not hurting as much. His doctor said his body would develop a pattern and as time goes by he will know which days will be easier and which days will be tougher and he can adjust his schedule/activities accordingly. I took advantage of his feeling better and rented a movie he wanted to see that night and made a special dessert. (Baked whole wheat chocolate donuts. I’ll post that recipe too!) We had our own date night after the kids went to sleep. (That was part of my “wink”. ;-)) It was great…a little breathe of fresh air after a rough week. So yeah, we are hanging in there and appreciate all your prayers!

Around the house…

Legos, Star Wars toys, Legos, Thomas the Train engines, Legos, Disney Cars characters, and did I mention Legos?

Reading…

The Everyday Catholic’s Guide to the Liturgy of the Hours

Insurgent (Divergent Series)

Listening to…

I heard this song on the radio the other day and it really touched me. When I went to download it on iTunes I was surprised to find out that the artist was Shane Harper who played Spencer on “Good Luck, Charlie.” I don’t know if his new movie God Is Not Dead is any good but I do know I love the song from it. 😉

Here are the lyrics.

“Hold You Up”

When it’s coming apart, you had it all.
It wasn’t enough. No, it’s not enough.
They tell you it’s not worth the price, so just let it go.
But you know you can’t. You know you won’t.

It’s not easy, no.
Finding the words to say.
When you’re feeling lost, you’ll find your way.

The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold.
At nighttimes you can’t feel the fire to guide you home.
The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know.
But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.

They see the fear in your eyes, heart sinks like a stone.
‘Cause when you’re afraid, it weighs on your soul.

It’s not easy, no.
Finding the words to say.
When you’re feeling lost, you’ll find your way.

When the timing is right, somehow you’ll know.
When nobody stands, stand on your own.

Thinking about…

I love the lyric “The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know. But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up.”

When I am feeling overwhelmed and am stressing out I am tempted to lose it. I can give into my weakness and the negativity in my head and allow the demons to steal what I know – that God is with me. That he is strongest when I am weakest and He can accomplish amazing things. If I am docile in the hands of God and surrender to him in the little things, as well as the big things, He will hold me up and carry me through. That is especially timely these days. 😉

Watching…

Saturday we watched the season finale of When Calls the Heart (Aw!) and last night we watched the season finale of The Walking Dead (Ack!). I recorded the premiere of Season 3 of Call the Midwife for later this week along with The Blacklist, Father Brown, Grimm, some Hitchcock movies and some old episodes of Veronica Mars.

On the blog…

I have a number of posts in my Draft folder but I’m not sure how much free time I’ll have this week!

Posts I’ve Liked on my Bloglovin

I said the ebook would be ready on Monday. And I note that Monday does not end until 11:59 PM. by Jen

Monthly Clean Home Challenge: File Paper Piles by IHeart Organizing

Kitchen Chat, Week Five: Kitchen Style! by Sun and Candlelight

Pinned…

Source

Great Kid Idea – Gravel and Trucks Construction Sensory Box

Homemade Peanut Butter, Coconut and Fruit Granola Bars

Easy End of the Year Teacher Gift

Free printable: Party Bunting Flags Blue

Plans for the Week…

Bella sitting next to me in the car, showing me her painted polka dot nails. 🙂

The usual, although is Brian is feeling okay on Saturday, Bella and I are scheduled for a mom and daughter date to the movies. (Even if it means having to sit through a Muppets movie.) Honestly, my favorite time is when we are driving in the car to and from. I ask her questions about her life and she opens up and shares things with me. I think the simple act of sitting side by side but not facing each other helps her to open up to me more.

Captured…

I love how after a rain the sky is a gorgeous blue with big puffy clouds. Here’s the view from our deck yesterday with today’s scripture of the day in the Restore Workshop.

Day 3 of 7: An Update on Brian (2/26/14) & Embracing the Cross

By bobbi
February 26, 2014
5 Comments

Today is Day 3 of my participation in Jen’s 7 Posts in 7 Days Challenge and I am rethinking my decision to participate because right now I am exhausted and I am too tired to think. LOL. There is a rain storm outside and we are thanking God for it since this is only the third time we have gotten rain all winter. I forgot what it sounded like to have the rain pounding and the wind shake the windows. On nights like this Brian always wants to watch a mystery for movie night so I am sure he will want to tonight too.

Speaking of my sweet man, today Brian had his outpatient surgery to put a port in his chest for his chemo treatments, which start March 10th. (If you are squeamish or afraid of needles this may be TMI.) Basically, the port is small medical device inserted beneath the skin. A catheter connects the port to a vein and it is used to inject the chemo or draw blood. It looks like this. Just picture it under the skin.

Source

Thankfully the whole process only took about 3 hours and he was back home resting by late this afternoon. After the procedure I helped him get dressed and as I was kneeling on the floor putting on his socks and shoes for him, I looked up at him and he smiled at me and my heart was filled with love. I know I am selfish and I complain a lot and I get bent out of shape when things don’t go my way, but in that moment, I was happy to be on the floor helping him dress. It was my little way of telling him that I loved him and that I appreciated all the love he gives to me and the kids. And that we value every moment that he is here with us. Yeah, a lot to say over a pair of socks but the grace must have been flowing. 😉

This whole fight with cancer is something that we never wanted. However, in the last month there have been emotional and spiritual things revealed to us – as individuals and as a couple that have brought us closer to God and closer to each other. I know Brian has been through a lot this past month and physically the cancer had weakened him and made him sick, but he has fought bravely and grown stronger physically and spiritually. When I was talking to him this morning before his surgery he was joking around with me and I saw a look of happiness and playfulness that had been missing for awhile. I can see God working in him and I pray and hope and trust that God will continue to strengthen Brian and heal him.

But isn’t that how God so often works. Something terrible happens and suffering is endured but when we trust in God, we allow him to do amazing things. He can take the ugly and make something beautiful. He can lift us up off the floor and help us to walk once again. He can take our weakness and make us strong. He can take our doubt and replace it with faith. He can perform miracles. It is not easy since it requires us to first kiss the cross but with it comes the embrace of the resurrection.

Once again, thanks for the continued prayers. Please keep them coming. Brian is ready to watch that mystery movie so time to sign off. 🙂

7 Quick Takes (1/30/14): Brian Comes Home, Mr. Knightly Inspires & Twue Wuv Lives

By bobbi
January 30, 2014
6 Comments

I’m linking up with beloved Jen for this week’s 7 Quick Takes.

~ 1 ~

It’s been a loooong week. Brian went in for surgery last Friday and it has been a roller coaster ride of good moments and bad moments. However, all I can think about now is that I get to take this handsome man home tomorrow! (It’s Thurs night now so he comes home Friday.) We are ecstatic! I told the kids they could stay home from school and we are having a welcome home party instead. 🙂 Woohoo!

Brian will still need to go through chemo but he can’t do anything until his body is completely healed from the surgery. (He is still in some pain and barely getting used to food again.) The doc talked to him today and said the “good news” is that his panel of 16 nodes showed cancer in only one node. It is hard to think of that as good news. But then we found out that another patient down the hall had a panel of 22 nodes examined and he had cancer in all 22 nodes. Yeah, I guess when you look at it from his perspective, Brian is lucky. The doc said Brian is strong and (comparatively) young so once he gets his strength back, he can fight and beat this. We are praying that he does!

~ 2 ~

My mom and my sisters are back home now so I’ll be managing the house, the kids and Brian’s recovery solo. It’s a little daunting but I know God is using this opportunity to help me grow in the virtues I struggle with the most like patience and selflessness and fortitude. Yeah, this is going to be really interesting. 😉

~ 3 ~

This week was the 201st anniversary of Pride and Prejudice. In honor of the day, I ordered the Jane Austen bookmarks I mentioned in last week’s Five Favorites. Okay, truth be told, I had no idea it was the 201st anniversary when I ordered them. It was just a coincidence. However, I danced a little jig when happy mail arrived from the UK. 😉

~ 4~

Speaking of Pride and Prejudice, as much as I love the book, it is not my favorite Austen novel. Persuasion is actually my favorite. I also love Emma but that is more because I fell in love with Mr. Knightly at a time when I was choosing all the wrong kind of men. Mr. Knightly was my inspiration that lead me to dating Brian. In fact, I think I have a post about Mr. Knightly in my draft folder. I should find it and finish it. In the meantime, what’s your favorite Austen novel?

~ 5 ~

Speaking of posts in my Drafts folder, I forgot I had to finish the post about my planner. I am big on making check lists because if I don’t, all that info just pours out of my brain like a sieve. My planner is a collection of my to do lists and other info. I’ll finish it up and post it, hopefully, on Tuesday. 🙂

~ 6 ~

There is still time to join this week’s Pinterest Party and Link-up. My sister linked up a recipe she found on Pinterest for grain free chocolate donuts. For being a healthy treat, they look delicious! I definitely want to try them. 🙂

~ 7 ~

And since I am mentioning family, congrats to my little brother Jake who recently got engaged. I am so excited to welcome Amanda into our big, crazy family. 🙂

Okay, time for bed. Have a great night/day!

Revolution of Love

Do small things with great love.

Category Archives: brian

7 Quick Takes (1/24/15): Brian & Opa Updates & Lent Preparations

31 Days of Gratitude (Day 24 & 25): The Grace of the Cross

Moments of Grace Daybook & Currently (3/30/14): Brian Update, Trusting God, Odds & Ends

Day 3 of 7: An Update on Brian (2/26/14) & Embracing the Cross

7 Quick Takes (1/30/14): Brian Comes Home, Mr. Knightly Inspires & Twue Wuv Lives