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Do small things with great love.

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Category Archives: motherhood

My September 2014 Goals

It is nearly mid-month so I guess I had better finally finish this post about my monthly goals. 😉 It’s a little funny that my last few posts have all been about setting goals when two months ago my big daily goal was just getting through the day without losing my mind and maybe managing to wash and dry one load of laundry (and try not to forget to put the clothes in the dryer until they smell so bad I have to rewash them.)

Someone who just started reading my blog in the past week may think, wow, she has it so together with her planner and goal making. Well, girl, you have no idea how wrong that impression is! Seriously, this summer has just been super busy, super stressful and by the time August rolled around I felt I was going to explode. Everything was in chaos – the house, my spiritual life, my budget, my diet, everything! Top that off with a husband trying to get through the last difficult rounds of his chemo and, well, you get the idea.

My life was craving some order and direction. Thankfully, whenever I get like this God always sends just what I need to help me get back on track. As I mentioned in a previous post, I finished Lara Casey’s Powersheets and did all the prep work before choosing my five Main Goals I want to work on over the next six months.  My September goals are things that will help me eventually reach the Main Goals.

“Make known to me your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths.” Psalms 25:4

Main Goal #1: To always have God at the center of my life and to deepen my love for Him. I want his will to be my will and motivation.

September Goals

  • I have done much better in improving my night prayer so this month I am focusing on bettering my morning prayer/devotion time. There is a small window of 20 minutes that I have between getting the older kids off to school and before getting Matthew ready for pre school when I can pray my morning devotion.
  • Monthly confession.

 

“With this ring, I thee wed…”

Main Goal #2 – To be a loving and holy wife to Brian and to work at keeping our marriage strong. I want to spend more time with him to strengthen not only our love but our friendship.

September Goals

  • Spend time each day to talk and touch base, preferably after the kids have gone to bed. Also, I’ll ask Brian questions and let him talk without monopolizing the conversation.
  • Plan weekly date nights. They can be at home dates but at least one date a month should be out of the house.
  • Find a second sitter since our normal sitter is so busy with college now.

 

My inspiration shot – This is what my kitchen could looks like when I clear off all the messy counters.

Main Goal #3 – To bring order into our home so I am not stressed out by the mess and chaos. When things are organized our family life runs smoother and there is more peace.

September Goals

  • Make a master list of all the areas in the house that need to be cleaned out or organized. Instead of getting overwhelmed by it all, I will tackle small bits on Fridays since that is the day I have a few hours at home without needing to be anywhere else.
  • Make a weekly cleaning schedule for maintenance. For example, the laundry gets insane if I don’t do at least one load every day or so. Wednesdays are the days I have an hour window at home so I can assign housework on those days.

One of the kids favorite outings is to the Monterey Bay Aquarium.

Main Goal #4 – To be a good mother that loves her kids and spends time with them and is not always “too busy.” I want to teach them about their faith and how to love and serve God in their young lives.

September Goals

  • Plan bi-weekly outings as a family. The off weeks can be spent playing with them in the backyard searching fossils or blowing bubbles or having a picnic on the deck.
  • Update the kids’ chore chart to give them more responsibility around the house. Go back to the sticker reward charts since they seem to work well.
  • Incorporate 1-2 church feast days into family life.

Along the Monterey Recreation Trail.

Main Goal #5 – To take care of myself physically, spiritually and mentally so I can be a happy and healthy wife, mother and friend. Taking care of myself mentally also means challenging myself to come out of my comfort zone and facing my fears.

September Goals

  • Daily hydrate, take vitamins and walk for 20-30 min. Use my Fitbit to keep track.
  • Now that I signed up as a room mom, use the opportunity to approach other moms and get to know them. There may be new friendships waiting to be made. 🙂

It may seem a bit lofty but I have six months to make progress and at the end of each month I’ll evaluate what’s working and what needs to be tweaked. I have good days – like today – and bad days like yesterday when everything was going wrong and I was losing it big time. So goes life. Thanks to God’s grace and mercy, I have been able to pick myself up, dust myself off and keep going. I also scheduled confession for Saturday morning. The extra boost of grace is just what I need. 😉

What are you going to work on this month?

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd or Instagram. (It’s set to private but I’ll approve you.) 😉

PPS – This post may contain affiliate links.

How I Improved My Night Prayers & Exam of Conscience

One of my goals in August was to improve my night prayers. I had gotten into the habit of saying my night prayers in bed before I feel asleep. However, 99% of the time I was snoring before I even got into it. Praying in the horizontal position was definitely not working for me. My goal was to say my prayers before I hit the pillow so I changed my routine. Now when the boys go to bed at 7:30-ish and the house becomes incredibly quiet, I grab my quiet-time-tote-bag (that holds my books, laptop, earphones, etc) and find a quiet spot where I can spend a little time with God.

First I say a prayer to the Holy Spirit and ask Him to enlighten my heart and my mind so I can review my day and learn from my mistakes and be grateful for my blessings. To help improve these nightly exams of the heart (and my monthly confessions) I picked up an old practice I used to do years ago. It was brought back to mind when I was discussing night prayer with someone on the Blessed Is She Facebook page. I recalled how much it helped me then and I knew God was nudging me to return to it. So I bought a cheap 50 cent composition book and I use it as my exam book. I write down the things I am sorry for that day. My impatience or losing my temper or taking Brian for granted or for being unkind to so and so. Whatever it is. On occasion, there is something I don’t want to put down on paper knowing that this book may be seen by other eyes so I literally write it in a code that I would know what it is but someone else wouldn’t. I also wrote on the first page, “This is for my eyes only. If I have died and you find this book, please throw it away for me.” LOL! No, but seriously. I did.  😉

Putting it down on paper may seem dumb but seriously after writing “for losing my patience” every stinkin day for weeks on end it really hits home that, girl, you gotta do something about this! And I do try and make a greater effort to control myself. It also helps when it is time for confession. I can thumb through the past month’s entries and see what things I need to bring to the foot of the cross.

When I examine my day, I don’t just look at the negative. I also look at the good things that have happened. So after I write down the things I am sorry for, I open up my gratitude journal and write down three to five things I am grateful for that day. It can be a blessing – like a date night with Brian or getting all the laundry done or a phone call from my mom or it can be the grace of not losing my temper when someone scribbled on the wall with permanent marker. That shows me not only God’s grace in action but that I am making baby steps towards improvement. Once my books are filled, I keep the gratitude journal and trash the other.

After my exam, I say an Evening Prayer. My favorite is found on the iMissal app on my iPhone. It reads:

O my God, at the end of this day I thank You most heartily for all the graces I have received from You. I am sorry that I have not made a better use of them. I am sorry for all the sins I have committed against You. Forgive me, O my God, and graciously protect me this night. Blessed Virgin Mary, my dear heavenly mother, take me under your protection. St. Joseph, my dear Guardian Angel, and all you saints of God, pray for me. Sweet Jesus, have pity on all poor sinners, and save them from hell. Have mercy on the suffering souls in purgatory…

(followed with Act of Contrition)

It may sound like a lot of work for our already busy lives, but seriously I can get the exam done in 10 minutes easy and from there I can spend more time in quiet prayer or say a rosary or read from a spiritual book for a longer block of prayer time. If I am on a tight schedule and have a lot of other obligations to finish before bed, then I keep it short. You can make it as short or as long as you want, depending on your situation. If you are single, you can fit it in after work or before a late night study session. If you are a busy mom with crying babies or tugging toddlers, five minutes may be your tops. For moms who nurse at night, your exam may be said at 2 AM. For moms with older kids, you may be saying yours on the couch as you wait for them to come home from their date. Do whatever works for you. The main thing is to reconnect and reconcile with God and to thank Him for all the blessings of the day, even when you have to work really hard at finding a blessing on a “bad” day.

I’ll admit there are times when I want to skip this prayer because I have so many other things that I need to do but the extra effort is worth the peace and grace I receive from ending my day with God. Plus the act of physically quieting myself reminds me that above all else, God must be at the center of my heart. Only then will everything else fall into place.

How do you say your night prayers? Do you have a tip to help with preparing for confession?

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd or Instagram (It’s set to private but I’ll approve you.) 😉

PPS – This post may contain affiliate links.

August 2014 Goals

 

July is gone and August is here to usher the end of our summer days. I love the feeling you get when a new month starts. Turning the calendar to a new page is like a fresh start to new adventures and to work on the areas you want to improve.

There is one area that has been on my mind ever since I took Elizabeth Foss’ Restore course back in spring. (I blogged about it here.) I went back and reread Elizabeth’s essay about having a well ordered day. I felt like everything she was saying was just what I needed to hear, again. It also had me thinking about setting goals in my life. I always admired how Ashley at The Big White Farmhouse had her yearly and monthly goals that she wanted to accomplish. I loved the idea! I also noticed today that Jenna over at A Mama Collective also made a list of August goals she wanted to work on.

I never gave much thought to having life goals before now. (Well, except for the huge goal of finding a good husband when I was still single. ;-)) Seriously, I always imagined “goals” as being grand, lofty things like starting a business or going back to school or writing a book or something. It seemed ridiculous to make those kind of goals when I was just trying to make it to the end of the day with my sanity and perhaps a clean load of laundry. Lately, I’ve definitely been surviving, not thriving. Then I read what Elizabeth said here:

What do you want your life to look like? What do you see as your unique calling? These might be grand, lofty, complex things, like starting a ministry or taking a mission trip. But they might also be less grandiose, but deeply textured things like running a well-ordered home and opening your doors to your neighbors. Honestly, for right now, in this season, one of your primary goals might just be to get some sleep!

Well, that made sense. Thankfully, I’m at the stage where all the kids sleep through the night now so I’m getting enough sleep for the most part. (Except for those fave TV show binges on the weekend.) But I can feel that things in my life are shifting a little. Matthew, the youngest of the kids, is not a toddler anymore. He is three and will start preschool next week. I’ll have a couple hours three days a week when I’m alone and can get things done. But what? What does God want of me? I am reminded of Elizabeth’s words again:

Think about where you want to be next month, next year, five years from now, twenty years from now. Think about who you want to be. Ask God what His unique call is on your life. Our goal in life really is to use ourselves up. Our goal is to pour ourselves out in doing what He intended for us. Our goal is to be fully present in the love our Creator. Now, look at your calendar? Do you see the goal being lived out there?

Thinking where I want to be 25 years from now seems a little daunting! I want to be..alive? For now I’ll start small. Today I am just going to focus on where I want to be by next month. So these are my goals for August 2014.

1. Dust off my planner.

Once school was over in June and we left for our vacation in Lake Tahoe, I happily put my daily planner aside and wanted to just enjoy the leisure days of summer. Well, that was fine in Tahoe but once we got back home it has been a whirlwind of swimming lessons, summer activities, doctor, dentist and ortho appointments, home improvement projects and numerous family obligations. I am floundering with the chaos of it all. I feel like this has been the busiest summer in years, and not in a good way. I  have been trying to keep it all straight in my head, randomly writing post-its or leaving reminders on my iphone and IT. IS. NOT. WORKING. I have a terrible memory and if I don’t have it all written down in one place, you can forget about it happening! My concrete action – Go back to writing everything I need to do in my planner and not scraps of paper.

2. Do a better job at beginning and ending my day with prayer.

Sometimes it is hit and miss, especially my night prayer. My concrete action – I need to do my evening prayer before I lay down in bed. Praying in the horizontal position is no bueno for me!

The gratitude journal I won from Sarah’s contest at Fumbling towards Grace. The cover says, “In everything give thanks.” I love it. 🙂

3. Be more grateful for the little things.

Truth be told, too often I let all the little crosses of a mom’s life overwhelm me. (I can hear my mom say, “Well, that’s a shocker.”) Seriously, there has just been a lot going on with Brian’s cancer and the kids and life…and yada, yada, yada that I sometimes forget just how incredibly blessed I am! I want to have more glass-half-full moments than glass-half-empty ones. My concrete action – When I do my nightly exam I will return to writing down 5 things that I am grateful for that day. On good days it’s easy. On rough days, not so much but I still need to do it.

4. Make time for a few moments of creativity each day.

I get such a real joy when I am doing something that requires creativity. Whether is taking a photograph or working on my Project Life album or scribbling in my journal or making a scripture meme for the blog…all those little things can draw a person closer to God who is the master Creator. My concrete action – To help me keep that goal I’ll  be doing #31daysofgratitude on Instagram.

 

5. Make a master goal list.

I seriously have numerous goals in my head right now, particularly in the homemaking department, but I need to hone my ideas. I think the next best step would be to take more time to sit and pray and ask God what He desires of me. Where does He want me to be a year from now – physically, spiritually and emotionally? I’ll them break down those bigger goals into smaller monthly and weekly goals. My concrete action – Sit down and fill out the Laura Casey Powersheets that Elizabeth recommended.

Do you normally set goals? What goals are you working on this month?

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd or Instagram (It’s set to private but I’ll approve you.) 😉

PPS – This post may contain affiliate links.

Embrace the Ordinary (vol 1)

Today I am linking up with Gina for Embrace the Ordinary at Someday Saints.com.

Happy Monday! How has your day been so far? Hopefully well. Today has been a really good day, but yesterday, well, not so much. It had already been a really rough week with an overloaded schedule and a chemo sick husband and a three year old going through a late terrible two’s and a house that was a mess and in-laws that were coming over for dinner and I was just overtaxed to the point where I needed to go to the bathroom, shut the door, and shed a few tears to relieve the stress. It was just one of those days. Thankfully, the day was finally over and prayers were said and I was able to go to bed and get a good night’s sleep. Today is much brighter, despite the grey skies.

I recently came across the blog of one of my fellow Blessed Is She writers. Gina from Someday Saints.com posted Embrace the Ordinary Vol 1.  In it she says:

I’m drawn to an idea, which I want to share and I hope you’ll join me. With all the things I have going on in my day to day life, I crave time to rest and recognize the beauty, the wonder, the gift of each day.

My first thought was, “What about those days that suck?” She responds:

Those days [when I felt nothing went right] are just as much a gift as the days which go right from the start, the kids are happy, the sun is shining, you get the idea. I want to delight more in every day. I want to embrace each day for what it is, for better or worse.

I like that. It is easy to be all sunshine and rainbows when everything is going well but it is much harder to praise God and thank Him for the goodness in our lives when we are in the midst of battle.

So taking Gina’s cue, here are two ordinary moments that I am especially thankful for today.

Bella and I have been corresponding to each other in a Mama and Me journal that we put together. Yesterday, I found it on my desk.

Although she didn’t have anything major to talk about she wanted to send me a little note and draw me a picture to brighten my day. 🙂

It’s been grey and cloudy all day. It felt like there was a storm brewing but we only got a few drizzles. That did not stop the boys from grabbing rain boots, jackets and umbrellas to play in the “downpour.” It’s hard to believe that this little guy can drive me nuts and melt my heart at the same time. That face just says, “You can’t possibly stay mad at me, mom.” Sigh. He’s so right.

Thanks to Gina for the inspiration!

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd or Instagram (It’s set to private but I’ll approve you.) 😉

PPS – This post may contain affiliate links.

Online Daybook (6/2/14): Family Walks, Menus and Praying over a Dirty Toilet

 

Moments of Gratitude…

Today I am especially thankful for

  • Family walks
  • Wildflowers
  • The sound of the kids’ giggles.
  • Stolen kisses in the kitchen.
  • Words of encouragement.
  • Almost the end of school.
  • Summer plans.

 

Beauty in the Ordinary…

 I went for my morning walk and there were fishing boats everywhere.

 

If you like fresh sea food and gorgeous ocean views, come visit Monterey, CA. 🙂 (The askew shot of the horizon is bugging me but I love the colors.)

In the Kitchen…

M – Chili beans, cornbread and broccoli.

T – Chicken cacciatore with brown rice and roasted asparagus.

W – Tacos with Southwestern Black Bean Salad.

Th – Leftovers.

F – Chef Salad topped with BBQ chicken.

S – Homemade wheat pizza and Greek salad.

S – It’s Andrew’s birthday so he got to pick his favorite. He wanted tuna melts followed by chocolate cake. 🙂

 

Praying…

  • For Brian’s chemo and continued recovery from cancer.
  • For all those who are fighting cancer and other illnesses.
  • For family and friends who are pregnant.
  • For those trying to get pregnant that God will bless them with new life.
  • For those suffering from abuse, mental illness and addiction.
  • For the souls in purgatory.
  • For those most in need of God’s mercy.
  • For some special intentions.

 

On the homefront……

On Tuesday Brian started Round 4 of chemo. He has been doing really well and his blood work came out okay so we are hoping and praying things continue to go well. It’s crazy how many people are dealing with cancer right now. I mean, I knew it was a problem but not until it hit us personally did I really see how many lives are touched by it. Lately I feel like there has been one person after another that has died from cancer and it makes it harder to be positive and not dwelling on the worse. Thankfully, these last couple of days I have heard from or read about people who have fought cancer and have remained cancer-free for some time.

Life is so full of uncertainty, whether you are battling cancer or just being an innocent bystander, that you can’t really dwell on the “what ifs.” You’ve just got to keep your eyes on God and enjoy the time you’ve been blessed with your loved ones. That is sometimes difficult when I am knee deep in normal family chaos but the right attitude (and  sense of humor) can make it not only bearable but enjoyable.

 

Pondering…

I’ve been trying to add more little acts of prayer to help combat my tendency to complain about the my mommy chores.

* * * * *

Previous Version – Scene 1: In the laundry room.

As I am sorting out clothes and I see that one of the littles used his sleeve as a napkin again and got chocolate stains on his light colored shirt. As I’m scrubbing the stain my mind says, “Ugh! Why did I ever buy this guy a light colored shirt. That was so stupid. And why can’t that kid ever use a napkin. How  many times have I told him not to wipe his mouth on his sleeve. And who gave him chocolate anyway? He’s only supposed to eat chocolate on the weekend. Ugh. It’s like talking to a wall around here…” (Anger rises until I snap at the next person who tries to talk to me.)

Updated version

As I’m scrubbing the stain, “Sigh. Chocolate stains. I give it to you, God. Scrubbing this stain is what you are asking of me at this moment in time but note to self – no more light colored shirts for the boys. How did he get chocolate anyway? Oh, yeah. That was when Opa babysat the kids so Brian and I could go out to lunch. Oh, that was so nice. I love spending time with Brian. How did I ever get so blessed to have such a man in my life….” (Brian comes into the laundry room and I give him a big kiss. He is more than pleased. ;-))

Previous Version – Scene 2: In the bathroom

One of my little men had trouble aiming into the toilet. As I am cleaning up the mess my mind says, “What is wrong with that kid? Why is it so hard for him to aim in the toilet? If he would stop fooling around and pay attention to what he is doing I wouldn’t be stuck here cleaning up this mess…”

Updated version

“He missed again. Well, at least he is finally potty trained. I remember how hard that was. He can be so stubborn at times. Brian says he gets that from me. haha. Lord, help my little guy and his stubborn ways. He has such a good and loving heart. Help me as a mom to bring out his best qualities…”

* * * * *

Yeah, okay so maybe I don’t always sound just like that and maybe I’m sometimes cussing under my breath but I have asked my guardian angel to nudge me when I am going to lose it and I do try to turn it into a prayer or not try to get so upset. And when I can’t get the words out I simply say a Hail Mary (or a decade) as I work. I’ve prayed many a Hail Marys as I’ve scrubbed a toilet. 😉

 

Around the house…

Well, from the sounds of it dirty toilets and chocolate stains. 😉

 

Reading…

I finished reading The Fault in Our Stars and will see the movie later this week. I have mixed feelings about the book. I’ll try and wrangle those thoughts to paper and post a review.

My next book to finish is Jen’s Something Other Than God: How I Passionately Sought Happiness and Accidentally Found It. Loving it so far.

I have skimmed over The Little Oratory: A Beginner’s Guide to Praying in the Home but tonight I want to sit down and really focus on Chapter 1 so I can join along with Elizabeth and Leila as they discuss it on their podcast. Elizabeth is also hosting a link-up for you to share your own thoughts. Check it out here.

 

Listening to…

Relient K’s Collapsible Lung and Matthew and John-Paul laugh at the antics of Peppa Pig and George.

 

Watching…

Austenland (It was just so-so but I am a fan of the actor that played the Darcy-like character.) Saving Mr. Banks (Brian had not seen it yet.) The Book Thief (I really love this movie.)

 

On the blog…

I am putting together a list of weekly Link-Ups from various Catholic bloggers. I love link-ups, although I have been wanting to do a little more “meat and potato” posts than just link-ups. That is why I posted Despite What You May Think… You Are a Good Mom a couple days ago. I was reading through the comments and these three especially touched me and got me thinking about the topic even more…

One thing that encourages me is that I remember that even though I feel so far below those “perfect” moms, *I* am the mother that God chose for my children. Considering He doesn’t make mistakes, there must be good reason for them coming to me even though I don’t sew curtains or make wonderful meals or run marathons and couldn’t keep a blog going to save my life. I guess He knew that whatever strengths I have, those are the ones my kids need. It seems like God had the same thing in mind when he gave your kids to you, and your sister’s kids to her… (Sharon)

***

I think we all struggle with these feelings, but I also feel that whenever you undertake anything you care about you worry that you might not be giving it everything you can. And your children keep growing and changing so that you can’t really stay on top of things. So I try to remind myself that I have these feelings because I care so deeply and not because I am inadequate. But I am far from a perfect mother, of course! (Rita)

***

I think sometimes when we haven’t faced a particular challenge as a parent (or just in life) it’s hard to imagine what it’s really like. There are so many things that I just couldn’t have imagined and that I would have said was parenting before having a child on the spectrum and I think that having a kid with ASD has opened my eyes to how many different ways can be right, depending on the kid and family… (Cam)

 

I love the online interaction and in turn I will comment more on other blogs I read to let them know I appreciate their words. 🙂

Also on the blog, being the month of June, which brings us many June brides,  I am working on a couple marriage related posts. I’m hoping the next Pinterest Party will be marriage related so get your posts raedy to link! It can be money saving tips, wedding decor or posts about living a God centered marriage. More details coming!

 

In the blogosphere…

5 Ways to Cut Down on Whining by Whole Parenting Family

What Slowing Down Will Teach You

Ten Books of Poems for Kids by Everyday Snapshots

Summer Shakespeare Chat: Much Ado About Nothing by Clan Donaldson

What if our Lord sang that? (Vol. 1) by My Life as a Fireman’s Wife

 

Pinned…

See my latest pins here – pinterest.com/rol_bobbi/pins/.

Here are my two favorite of this week…

The Ronald Reagan Guide to Essential Oils//Call Her Happy

From the Garden: Fresh Mint Homemade Ice Cream Recipe // Carrots for Michaelmas

 

Plans for the Week…

School is winding down so we have a number of school activities on the schedule. Thursday is mama’s movie night. (I put the kids to bed and tuck in Brian with a good book or the remote and then head out for one of my favorite pastimes – watching a movie on the big screen.) This week it is The Fault in Our Stars. This weekend is also Andrew’s birthday and we wants an ocean theme party and a trip to the Aquarium. Fun. 🙂

 

Captured…

A couple more photos from our family walk.

 

Linking-Up with…

Jenny at The Littlest Way

A Mama Collective’s Currently

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd or Instagram (It’s set to private but I’ll approve you.) 😉

PPS – This post may contain affiliate links.