Summer Goals 2015

By bobbi
June 12, 2015
4 Comments

Last year, I started to get into the habit of making goals. Along the way, I purchased Lara Casey’s powersheets. I’ll be honest and tell you there were months I really took the effort to sit down and answer the questions on the worksheets and I narrowed down my goals. And then there were months when they just sat on my desk gathering dust. (I’m looking at you, holiday season.) Despite the off months, I found the sheets really useful in learning more about myself, what I wanted in life and how I could make my goals a reality.

The powersheets run for the course of six months. I am happy with the progress I’ve made but there are still many areas I want to work on more. I ordered the 2015 Powersheets so I could continue my progress over another six months. It was interesting to look back when I started and compare my answers then to my answers now. My main goals did not change but I learned what worked and what needed tweaking. It was encouraging to see how I’ve grown as well see the areas I still need work. So here is a summary of my progress and my main and mini goals for the summer.

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I Am A Daughter of God

Main Goal #1: To always have God at the center of my life and to deepen my love for Him. I want his will to be my will and motivation.

Progress Made…

I’ve done a better job at incorporating the liturgical year into our daily life. I have also gotten into the habit of monthly confession.

Summer Mini-Goals

I don’t know about you but whenever I am on vacation I always tend to let pray slip, as if that were on vacation too. Now that summer is here and my schedules has relaxed, there is no excuse not to fit formal prayer time into my day.

15 minutes of prayer/ journaling in the morn.
Turn my mind to God through the day, even if only for a brief moment.
Memorize the “Come Holy Spirit” Prayer

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I Am A Wife

Main Goal #2: To be a loving and holy wife to Brian and to work at keeping our marriage strong. To do what can to hep him relax and feel like his home is a haven from the world.

Progress Made…

I feel closer to Brian now than I have in our 15 years of marriage. I think the struggle with his cancer brought us closer together and made us realize how much we rely on each other. It has stretched us and brought out our strengths.

I’ve also learned to accept that despite my physical flaws, Brian loves me and thinks I am beautiful. That has allowed me to be open and vulnerable to him physically and emotionally, which has naturally brought us closer.

Summer Mini- Goals

Now that Bella is 13 (almost 14) I am able to leave her alone for an hour or so with the boys. This means that Brian and I can go out for a walk or grab a quick lunch even if our regular babysitter is unavailable.

Plan weekly at home date night or an hour long outing on the weekend.
Once a month, plan a longer date with a babysitter.
Have the kids do a quick clean up before Brian comes home so the place doesn’t look like a war zone when he comes home.
Bite my tongue and let Brian come home to a kiss from his wife instead of a tirade of all the drama he missed while he was away at work.

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I Am A Mom

Main Goal #3: To be a good mother that loves her kids and spends time with them and is not always “too busy.” I want to teach them about their faith and how to love and serve God in their young lives.

Progress Made…

I finally made the kids updated chore charts and gave them jobs that I had always done myself. My sister has always been great at expecting her children to do a lot and they actually do it. I don’t want my kids to grown up messy and lazy so I have been cracking down on chores. I knew the effort was worth it when one school morning I walked to the lunch box shelf and instead of yelling at kids, “Where are all the darn lunch boxes?!” they were there on the shelf, cleaned out and ready to go. Priceless. Some of the kids have really surprised me at just how capable they are. Others still need a lot of direction but that is good for me to learn patience as well. 😉

Summer Mini- Goals

Plan a daily time for the kids to read and work on a little school work so they don’t forget everything they learned.
Have screen-free times during the day when the kids must be outside playing or doing something constructive (ie Legos, puzzles etc). No iPhones, iPads, tablets or computers allowed. (Mom included! Gasp!))
Weekly outings – beach day, picnic, library, aquarium etc.

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I Am A Homemaker

Main Goal #4: To bring order into our home so I am not stressed out by the mess and chaos. When things are organized our family life runs smoother and there is more peace.

Progress Made…

There is not nearly as much progress as I’d like. There are few areas I have tackled but countless messy areas that overshadow them.

Summer Goals

Make a master TO DO list broken down by each room in the house. I have a tendency to work on too many projects at once and I don’t complete any of them. This way I can pick one item on the list, get it done and mark it off.
Update my freezer and pantry inventory and plan my weekly meals around the items that will be expiring soon.
My menu planing has grown stale so this past month I have been trying one new recipe a week. (Preferably using my about to expire food.) So far it has worked out well.

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I Am A Woman

Main Goal #5 – To take care of myself physically, spiritually and mentally so I can be a happy and healthy wife, mother and friend. Taking care of myself mentally also means challenging myself to come out of my comfort zone and facing my fears.

Progress Made…

There is so much to ponder in this area, it could be a post in itself. Six months ago I wanted to come out of my comfort zone and challenge myself to get to know other moms at school or locally. I volunteered to be a room mom, which gave me ample opportunity to spend more time one on one with other adults and to step up instead of hiding in the back ground.

Blogging has given me an outlet to share myself with others and attending the CWBNCA conference was huge in helping me grow as a woman and conquering my fears.

For years I have thought of myself in negative terms – overweight, unfit, messy, shy, unintelligent compared to others, etc. I’m starting to realize that these things are not the essence of who I truly am. As I lost a few pounds and got down a dress size I see that I can lose weight and strengthen my body. As I step out of my comfort zone, I realize that the friendly, outgoing (and a little crazy) girl that my family and close friends know can also be known to other people if I let her out more often. Although I am messy and unorganized, I crave order and am delighted when I get something organized. I am seeing that there is an ordered girl trapped in a messy girl’s body and she wants to come out.

My progress comes in recognizing these things and taking the first steps to making it happen.

Summer Mini- Goals

Daily hydrate, take vitamins and walk for 20-30 min. Use my Fitbit to keep track.
Track my eating otherwise I keep underestimating how much I’m eating each day.
Plan a blogging schedule that allows me time to enjoy what I love each day without going to extremes – spending no time on the blog or getting sucked into a posting rabbit hole.
Plan some girls day out with local mom friends.
Buckle down on my Goodreads’ 2015 Reading Challenge. I pledged 12 books this year. I am in month six but only on book 3. Time for summer reading!

It may all seem a bit lofty but working on these smaller steps will keep me headed in the right direction.

What about you? What is the one thing that you really want to work on this summer?

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads Letterboxd, Spotify or Instagram. 😉

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I Am the Handmaid of the Lord

By bobbi
March 25, 2015
2 Comments

Happy feast of the Annunciation!

It’s been crazy busy and I haven’t posted much here but I have been writing a couple posts for other blogs. I am excited to be guest posting for Sarah at Fumbling towards Grace while she prepares to move (with three little ones!) Sarah is a sweetheart who has had a rough past but has risen above it and made a new life with her beautiful family. She is a gifted writer and has the ability to open her heart and draw you in as she shares her soul. I just can’t help but love her. 🙂

Here’s a short piece I wrote about Our Lady and following her example of being a handmaid for the Lord.

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When I was younger, and after my reversion to the church, one of my favorite bible scriptures was Luke 1:38. “Mary said, ‘Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” The words touched my heart, especially since at the time I was also struggling with whether or not I was being called to a religious vocation. Part of me thought it was a beautiful and noble calling to be the bride of Christ. The other part of me thought, it’s great as long as God is not calling me, a boy-crazy romantic.

Boy-crazy or not, I went away for a summer-long discernment retreat with a group of lay consecrated women. I figured I’d give it a try (and prove that I was not called to that kind of life.) I went in thinking, “There’s no way,” but a curious thing happened in there. First, the amount of time I spent in prayer really started to soften my hardened heart. I keenly remember having to adjust to the schedule and bell that rung moving us from one activity to another. When the bell tolled, we were to stop what we were doing and move on to the next activity. There was no, “Hold on one sec,” or “Let me just finish this last bit.” Obedience to God was obedience to the rules and schedule. We learned to offer it up and say, “I am the handmaid of the Lord…”

As things would turn out, by the end of the retreat, I did not want to go home. I had never felt so close to God and wanted to offer my life in consecration to Him. However, my spiritual director and my confessor both advised me to return home and take a year off to pray and further discern. I did and during that time I realized I was called to be a wife and mother. But God used that summer to show me how to love and how to give and serve generously.

Fast forward sixteen years and now I am married with four children. I do not live in a monastery but our home is a little domestic church. I do not have a bell ringing, telling me to move from one activity to the next but I do have little ones that constantly interrupt my “plans.” Whether it is a sick child that needs attention or milk that spilled all over the counter or a bathroom accident that needs to be cleaned, there is a constant stream of opportunities for me to die to self and say, “I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.”

I wish I could say that I have learned to kiss the cross and offer my sacrifice with love but all too often the cross is met with a deep sigh and my muttering, “Seriously, Lord? Again?” Yeah, I have far to go but at least I am on the right road and God’s mercy is always there to pick me up and get me going again.”

So on this feast of the annunciation, let’s renew our commitment to follow Mary’s example and say yes to God in whatever He asks of us.

This post first appeared at Fumbling towards Grace.

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd, or Spotify, 😉

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Register for the Catholic Conference for 4Moms & A Coupon Code for Purchases!

By bobbi
March 5, 2015
No Comments

As I mentioned last week, I am excited to participate in the upcoming Catholic Conference 4Moms. There are so many great speakers and various topics, there is certain to be something to touch your heart!.

Here is how it works:

Every day during the conference, Friday, March 6- Monday,March 9, you will have access to 5-6 talks, just as if you were at a live conference. This link will come via email. What’s different is that you can choose which talks you want to watch or listen to and when you you want to do it. Early morning? Wonderful. Nap time? Great. Before bed? Super. Car line? Fine, as long as you don’t try to watch while driving!

I love that! I have tried to do webinars in the past but it is difficult to commit to be at a certain place at a certain time with my busy schedule. This is different since I can listen anytime of the day.

I also LOVE that the conference is FREE! However, you do have the opportunity to dig deeper and to hear all the other talks you missed.

After the conference is over, it will all be available for purchase for one low price of $39.99 This will include online access to all the videos, as well as a download of every video presentation. And besides all of this, there will also be bonus downloads, PDFs, discussion questions, ebooks, and other goodies.

The hope is that with this package you not only can enjoy the conference again at your own convenience, but you can also share the conference with other moms, perhaps in a support group setting or just over tea. Each presentation in the conference package will include discussion questions.

Since Revolution of Love Blog is an affiliate of the conference, once the conference is over and available for purchase, I will have a coupon code for you to use to get $10 off the Conference Package price. Yay! (Update: The code is “Revolution.”)

This is the last day to sign up!! And it is free! Register here.

The conference will start tomorrow. I’ll “see” you there! 🙂

UPDATE: You can now purchase the Catholic Conference 4 Moms Package! The price is $39.99 but if you use the code “REVOLUTION” you get $10 off! For more details or to order click here – http://www.catholicconference4moms.com.

PPS – This post contains affiliate links.

Loving Until It Hurts

By bobbi
January 30, 2015
10 Comments

It’s been a long and stressful week. My father-in-law is recovering from his stoke, although he is having heart issuesw which has not allowed him to leave the ICU. We are pleased he is getting the best care at Stanford but it makes spending time with him difficult since we are 90 miles away. My mother-in-law is unable to board up there so Brian drives and stays with her at Stanford on the weekends and we’ve been trying to round up enough of her friends to help drive during the week so Brian does not have to miss too much work. I feel bad for my in-laws and I am doing what I can to make this situation easier on them.

However, that also means doubling my current busy workload. That would be fine if I was a saintly woman who loved to suffer. It is not so great for a selfish sinner who hates to be put out. By Monday evening I was drained. Brian came home and we had a conversation like this.

Brian: You won’t believe what I just saw outside. There are four wild turkeys in front of our driveway.

Bobbi: Are you sure those aren’t just our kids?

Brian: No! There are huge turkeys walking up the street.

Bobbi: What the heck are turkeys doing in the neighborhood? That’s weird. So is that a good omen or a bad omen?

Brian: Well, it could be that we are in a time of Thanksgiving.

Bobbi: Or it could mean we are about to be shot, beheaded, plucked and cooked.

Brian: (Sighs)

Yeah, I was not in the mood to be looking on the bright side. Later that evening, after apologizing to Brian for being so grouchy, I started thinking about a Hallmark movie I recently saw. (Don’t hate on Hallmark. I love those sappy love stories.) 😉 In the movie, A Novel Romance, two characters were having a discussion. The young woman Sophie was talking to an older friend Harris. They were recalling his wife who had died. The conversation went like this:

Harris: I don’t pretend to know much about relationships. I only loved one woman in my life.

Sophie: You found your one true love.

Harris: I know that now, but when Lola and I were together it wasn’t always so clear. Loving someone is the hardest work there is. Oh, I messed up plenty. So did she. We disappointed each other sometimes. We said things we regretted later, but we never let it keep us apart no matter how bad things seemed at the time. It wasn’t true love because it was easy. It was because we worked at it. We fought for it.

I love that.

It wasn’t true love because it was easy. It was because we worked at it. We fought for it.

That little piece of dialogue pretty much sums up our life lesson as wives and mothers. I have found my true love but it isn’t always kisses and love notes. There are also disagreements and annoying habits and the monotonous day to day chores. I have four sweet babies but it isn’t always hugs and kisses and drawings for mama. There are also messes, laundry, tantrums, sleepless nights and an endless stream of toys on the floor. There are seasons of joy and celebration and there are seasons of heavy crosses – illness, job loss, miscarriage, infertility, (or no break between pregnancies,) a death of a loved one. These big and little crosses stretch us and test us to the core. We find out if our love is only pretty words or the real thing through thick and thin.

I admit there are times when I can’t take it and just want to scream. Why am I so stressed? Maybe because I spent too much time goofing off on the computer and then I had to rush around in a tizzy to get dinner on the table. Or maybe I am tired and cranky because the night before I binge watched too many episode of my favorite show. Times like that, I have no one to blame but myself. I know I am capable of doing what I need to do but I am just being very self-centered and not wanting to love the way God is asking me. My priorities are askew and I need to make corrections pronto.

Monday was one of those days. I made matters worse by not doing first things first – ie. prayer and daily duties. The following day I made sure to put prayer first. I opened up my daily meditation and began to pray.

Sometimes God is every so gentle with me and sometimes He just gives me the swift kick in the arse that I need. This was a swift kick day. The line that jumped out at me was

‘Taking up our cross’ might have a little more to do with love of neighbor and a little less like playing the martyr.

Ouch. This kept echoing in my head – “Pick up your cross without playing the martyr.”

But I am so good at playing the martyr, Lord! Huffing and puffing and rolling my eyes because nothing is working out the way I want it. At those times I can almost hear Jesus say, “Really? After all that I’ve done for you, this is how you are going to act? Like a spoiled child? Is your love really that fickle?” Sigh. Our Lord knows me too well.

However, there are those days, when I am seriously giving 110% of myself and it is still not enough. I am overwhelmed by the weight of whatever cross I am caring. That is when Jesus is most gentle with me. He comforts me and gives me the grace to love even when it hurts. That is when He reminds me to slow down long enough to look at the blessings around me, despite the difficulties.To love someone, whether a spouse, child, parent or friend, means to be there in the good and the bad. To lift them up and carry them when they are weak. As I type this, I’m getting a mental picture of Samwise Gamgee as he carries Frodo up the slopes of Mount Doom. That is love. Right now God is calling me to be Samwise to my family. I need to stop whining and get to work.

I’ve been in this position before and I know what I must do to survive it.

1. Drop to my knees.

My day goes so much better when I pray in the morning, whether it is long of brief.
Talk to God throughout the day. I need to ask for God’s grace and for the strength and courage to follow his will in my life right now.
When the complaining starts to enter my mind, I need to give it to God and ask for his grace to see the good around me.

2. Take care of my physical needs.

Eat. (No skipping breakfast then binging at lunch because I’m starving.)
Take my vitamins and drink. (Water, that is.) 😉
Exercise. Sure my beach walks are awesome but those are getting more difficult these days. Even a 10 minute walk up and down the driveway is better than nothing.
Sleep. I am a night owl and I have to force myself to not stay up until the wee hours of the morning.

3. Know my limit and not be afraid to ask for help.

I can do a lot (when I am in the right frame of mind) but when I reach the point of losing it, I have to do whatever I can to step away or take a break. If Brian cannot watch the kids for a little bit then I need to find someone who can give me a hand.
Sometimes even a call from my mom and just hearing her voice is enough to settle my spirit and give me strength.
There have been many times people have offered to help but I always tell them, “oh, that’s okay” because I feel like I need to do it myself. People want to help. I need to humble myself and let them.

These are a few steps I take to help me love and live my vocation as a wife and mother. What about you? What things help you when you are loving until it hurts?

UPDATE: After posting this, my father-in-law was moved out of ICU. He is still having issues but it is a step in the right direction. The next hurdle is to get him out of Stanford and back to Monterey to heal. Thanks for your continues prayers! 🙂

* * * * *

Photo Credit – ElizabethFoss.com

I know I mentioned this before but if you are in a difficult season of life or you feel like you are struggling to find joy and peace in your current chaos, I strongly recommend Elizabeth Foss’ online Lenten Retreat – Restore. I joined last year when I was struggling with Brian’s cancer and caring for the household and it did wonders for me. The daily meditations, the essays and the podcasts were a balm to my soul. A year later, I still go through my notes and remind myself of the lessons God was teaching me.

Currently, I am not experiencing the burnout I had last year but I signed up for the retreat anyway because I know the Holy Spirit will use it again to continue to guide me and draw me closer. I understand that the cost of $65 is more than some people can afford. If that is the case, but you feel like you need to go, then lay it before the feet of Jesus. Tell him that if you are meant to go, then to please provide the means. He just may surprise you.Photo Credit: ElizabethFoss.com

I hope you’ll join me so we can make this journey together. Have a blessed weekend!

Goals for 2015 & Mini-Goals for January & February

By bobbi
January 18, 2015
10 Comments

AND

Last year (in Fall) I sat down and thought about the goals I wanted to set for the next six months. August and September and October saw real progress as I slowly worked on key areas of my life but once the holiday season started, everything went on the back burner. Finally, in mid-January, I am just about recovered from holidays and traveling for a wedding/family reunion. I have chosen my word and saint of 2015 and now it is time for me to revisit my main goals for 2015.

I was reading over my sister’s Goal List and although I divided my goals into categories as she did, I love the way she labeled them – I am a child of God, woman, wife, mother, homemaker. I am hijacking the idea and adding it to my list. (Thanks, sis. 😉 )

Here are my main goals for the year and my mini-goals for January and February.

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