Revolution of Love

Revolution of Love

Do small things with great love.

Chaos to Calm Bible Study: Week 1 – Morning Prayer and Joy in the Craziness of Motherhood

od_logo_quiet2As I mentioned previously, I was thinking about how I have been dissatisfied with my morning routines lately. I was reading Chaos to Calm: Week 1 over at Her Southern Charm Blog. I could relate to Jennifer’s words and clicked onto the Bible study she was reading over at  A Virtuous Woman.org. I read about Melissa Ringstaff, a preacher’s wife, and was was intrigued by her study. Originally I was going to skip it because Melissa is not Catholic and she wouldn’t be able to offer advice from a Catholic perspective. However, while she does not discuss Jesus in the Eucharist or asking Our Lady for prayer, she does make some beautiful yet practical points about being a virtuous Christ-like woman and they were truly speaking to my heart. So I continued with the study and just added my own Catholic materials to supplement.

Here are a few points that really hit home during Week 1.

RevolutionofLove.com - A Week in My Life (wiml_wed_1_2015)Point 1:   The Need to Start Our Day with Prayer

This has always been a struggle for me. I’m a night owl and stay up too late, then the next morning I say a quick Morning Offering and rush around tired, grumpy and out of sorts. Melissa writes:

As women striving to seek out God’s will for our own lives, is so important that we wake in the morning and humble ourselves before Him and ask Him to give us the strength we need to get through the day. So, this week’s challenge is having a morning prayer and devotion. I do believe that the morning is the best time of the day to get yourself in order. Just as our homes need organizing and maintaining, our hearts need order and maintenance as well.

Grr. I know she is right but I hate doing it. However, that night I forced myself to go to bed earlier and set my alarm for ½ an hour earlier, rising at 6 AM. As Murphy’s Law would have it, Matthew woke up crying and needed to be soothed back asleep, “wasting” my early rising. Instead of throwing in the towel,  I quickly showered and dressed so I’d still have 10-15 minutes for prayer. The next day I repeated the same thing. And then again. I still don’t like getting up early but I am hoping that if I do it long enough my body will get used to it. (It’s like Daylight Savings Time, it sucks and I swear under my breath whenever it rolls around but eventually I get used to it and once I do, it’s nice having that extra hour of sunlight.)

Melissa also made an interesting correlation between our morning prayer time and the Israelites’ manna in the desert. She says:

Morning is the best time for getting to know God. This principle was deeply impressed upon the children of Israel by His daily gift of manna. The angel food cake rained down from heaven early in the morning, six days a week, for 40 years. If one waited too long to gather it, the manna would evaporate in the heat of the sun. “And they gathered it every morning, every man according to his eating: and when the sun waxed hot, it melted.” Exodus 16:21.

Likewise, if we wait too long for our spiritual devotions, the cares and pressures of the day will get our attention before the Lord does. The busier we are and the more we have to do, the more we need to take time to pray. Let’s not allow the manna to melt.

An excellent point. So I’ll keep trying to gather up my “manna” in the morning.

RevolutionofLove.com - Theme Thursday: Portraits tt_portrait_brm_1dPoint 2: Having A Cheerful Disposition

I knew this one was going to be a tough one for me because I’m usually pretty happy, sometimes really happy and cheerful and full of hugs and kisses but I can far too easily get ticked off into a“don’t talk to me right now cuz I’m mad at the world” kind of mood. Granted, I am more happy than mad, but Melissa certainly hits the nail on the head when she says:

Women have the power to change the atmosphere in their homes. I am sure you have heard the saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” If you wake up each morning feeling ill, unpleasant, expecting the worst, dreading your chores, irritated with your husband, or tired of training your children, you set yourself up (as well as your husband and children) for a bad day.

Ouch. That is so true it hurts. Too often I let my emotions run me. If something goes wrong or things aren’t going just as I want them I get upset and impatient with everyone around me. Melissa advises:

Ask God for wisdom in dealing with your everyday circumstances. And choose to be happy. Do not allow other people, uncontrollable events, or lack of material possessions influence your choice to be happy in the Lord. Have you ever seen a child who was terminally ill? Or a person who was unable to care themselves, who in all their pain and suffering still had joy in their hearts? You can be like that too.

Whether you wish the laundry would go away or the bathrooms would clean themselves or your children would stop bickering you can still be happy. It is a blessing to have clothing for your family. It is a blessing to have a home with indoor plumbing. It is a blessing to have children. Stop looking at them like they are a curse! Choose to be happy!

I like that phrase – you can choose to be happy. It reminds me of marriage itself. Once the honeymoon is over and all the warm feelings are replaced with reality, the marriage can slip away unless you choose to love and to make it work despite the difficulties. It takes effort to keep the “honeymoon” alive. My vocation as a wife and mother is the path God has chosen for me to work out my salvation. Of course it is not going to be all daisies and sunshine. There is a lot of “manure” (trying to keep this PG) that has to be dealt with but from the occasional stench comes a beautiful garden. And the more I learn to stop being so selfish and self-centered, the more I can see my blessings. Dirty laundry = warm clothes to wear. Dirty dishes = we had food to eat. A messy house to clean = a roof over our head. Rambunctious kids = healthy kids with lots of hugs and kisses to share. Beds to make = Loved ones sleeping in their beds and not in the hospital or worse. It’s all in the attitude and how you look at things.

I must admit that while I am mostly cheerful, when I am upset I hate acting cheerful. I feel like a fake Pollyanna. How am I supposed to be cheerful then?

Well, I am also learning the difference between fake cheerfulness and cheerful peace. Today was a good example. The kids were extra wild and everything was going wrong at once and normally I would have lost my head and yelled at them all in exasperation. Instead I just kept repeating, “Give me strength, Lord. Give me strength, Lord, cuz I’m going to lose it!” With a few deep breaths and Our Lord pouring out his grace upon my heart and I got through the crisis in relative calm. I wasn’t skipping around and singing like Julie Andrews but I felt a peace inside. And when one of the kids did something funny I genuinely laughed and enjoyed it rather than being too upset to enjoy the moment. (In fact, I think I instagramed it. ;-))

The circumstances hadn’t changed, it was still chaotic but I was able to work through it, by God’s grace, and be at peace with the fact that life with kids is not always um…peaceful. There will be chaos. However, from that chaos, I can find calm – in how I handle it and by working on some of the elements that add to the chaos. If my hope and trust is in the Lord, then there is certainly a natural joy that comes from the grace of God in my life. It is not fake. If God is the source, it doesn’t get more genuine than that.

Later that day I stepped back and thought, “Hey, this prayer thing really works! I can see God’s hand helping me.” And then again I thought, “And how many times has God already taught me this lesson?? Am I that hard headed that he has to keep reteaching me??” Obviously, yes.

RevolutionofLove.com - knot_rosary_1Point 3: With Joy Comes Peace.

This lesson was echoed the following day when I read this section:

Today I want you to think about peace. What does peace mean to you? It is so important to have peace in your home. If your husband comes home each evening to peace, he will look forward to coming home. If your children live in a peaceful environment, they will grow up to care for the feelings and needs of others rather than be anxious and unsure of themselves.

How do we attain perfect peace? The Bible says we will have peace from God if our thoughts dwell on the things of God. Our hearts will be transformed. This is why having your morning devotion is so important! It sets the tone for the rest of the day. If you begin your day consumed by the Word of God, your heart will have been recharged or nourished by the bread of life. Your emotions will not be running on an empty tank.

Again, morning prayer. I am seeing more and more how important it is. If I am unable to go to Mass, I am trying to make sure I do a spiritual communion instead. The rosary (even just a decade) is also a great source of peace and strength.

But what about the days when we fail and peace and cheerfulness are thrown out the window? Melissa says:

If you already feel like your heart reserves have been running on low for quite some time – you need to fall on your knees before the Lord and pour out your heart to Him. Let the tears flow! Cry out to Him – out loud! He is there for you, always waiting for you. It is okay to tell him you feel lousy and that you know you messed everything up and that you are desperate for His help. ASK him for that perfect peace.

Sometimes life doesn’t go the way we want or expect. Sometimes we have so much hurt and sorrow that we don’t know what to do. Those are the times we most need our God. Turn to Him in your pain and sorrow, He is faithful to help you and you will learn much about HIM as well as yourself.

I would also add the importance of frequent confession, at least once a month. We need the grace of confession. In humbling ourselves before God we are the ones that receive the blessings of grace, healing, comfort and strength. For me, I can physically feel when my confessional graces are running low and I need to spiritually recharge. I have a set day (the 2nd Saturday of the month) and I mark it on the family calendar and don’t change it unless absolutely necessary, in which case, I go the following week so I won’t let the weeks slip away.

I think that brings me to my favorite point so far.

Revolution of Love Blog - 80a2Point 4 – God’s Mercy Gives Us A Fresh Start.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness.”” Lamentations 3:22-23

We receive new mercies every morning. I love that image of starting new. It does not mater how bad we messed up the day before or in the past, God is always willing to give his prodigal daughter a second chance. Little by little, day by day, he forms us and molds us into daughters of the King.

Blessed be God!

I hope you enjoyed reading this. It was helpful for me to sit down and organize my thoughts and put it down into words. Next Monday I’ll post my thoughts for Week 2.

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The Year of Loving God… Downton Style

My Resolution Is No Resolutions – Now that the new year is here, a lot of people have been talking about their resolutions. I have never really been into resolutions. I can barely decide what to do for Lent and I only have a little more success there because of the spiritual aspect. There have also been many blog posts about a word of the year… The Year of (Fill-in-th-blank). Even my mom was telling me about her word of the year. That idea appeals to me more than a resolution. Last year I did not make a specific “theme” of 2012 per se, but it definitely developed into one. It was the year of “homemaking.”

Martha Stewart, I Was Never Called – Truth be told, in 2011 I was really struggling with my inadequacy at what I thought a Catholic wife, mom and homemaker should be. I touched on it a bit with Those Perfect Catholic Moms Are Killing Me because I wasn’t doing all the amazing cooking, sewing, and art projects that I saw posted on the other mom blogs. I just had to accept myself as I was – a pizza ordering, plant killing, messy housed mom that can’t sew on a button. But God was slowly working in me. I was never going to be  super mom but should I accept my inadequacies or try to improve them? Hence the slow start to the year of homemaking. I tried new recipes and simple crafts. I started cleaning and organizing. I still kill plants and can’t sew but I am enjoying what I can do and thanking God for my own unique blessings in my life. And I actually have a greater love of being a mom and homemaker! In the end, that is really the goal of a resolution – to make a positive change in your life. To make the world around you a little happier.  I think I was able to do that in my own little way.

The End of Another Year – At the end of 2012, a single word has been on my heart – love… love and/or charity. I had been planning to redo the blog and it was the perfect time to reflect on the name we chose ten years ago “Revolution of Love.” We started it to show that we love our faith and are trying to live it not just on Sundays but 24/7. (You can read our original thoughts about the name here.) Back then I was newly married with only one child. My days were filled with taking care of our home and little girl. I had responsibilities and couldn’t evangelize the same way I could as a single young adult. There was one painting that I loved and it summed up the way I would live my Revolution of Love as a young wife and mother. It is Godspeed by Edmund Blair Leighton.

Where’s My Battlefield? – In the painting there is the heroic knight going off to war but I always wondered about his fair maiden that was left at home. She would not be going to the battlefront. She would not be facing the brutal combat. What could she do in the confines of her castle? It reminded me of St. Therese of the Little Flower. She wanted to be a missionary but that was not her calling. Instead she found her battle field, her mission ground within the confines of her convent. She accomplished great things by simply living her daily life and doing little acts of love for the heart of Christ. I loved that and tried to follow it in my own life. But fast forward ten years and four kids later, I find myself too often exasperated and complaining about what I don’t feel like doing.

When the Bell Tolls – Before I met Brian I was discerning the religious life and spent a summer in a convent like setting to discern my vocation. I remember the priest explaining to us that our schedule and the bell ringing calling us to prayer or meal time or a certain activity was a blessing from God. We did not have to worry about what was God’s will at that moment because He was literally telling us directly through the toll of a bell. When the bell rang we were to stop what we were doing and go to where we were called. It was to be an act of love to Jesus. I remember there were many times when I heard the bell ring and I thought, “Just one more minute…I am almost done doing this task…I can be a few minutes late…” and it was hard for me to just let go and do what God was calling me to at that moment.

I was not called to that life and I do not have a little bell telling me where to be at certain times of the day, or so I thought.  So often, so very often, I can hear God softly whispering to my heart saying things such as, “That crying baby is your bell. Or that dinner that needs to be made is your bell. Or that dirty diaper that needs to be changed is your bell. Or that child that wants you to read a story is your bell… so stop what are doing and take care of him/it.” (I have a thick skull so the Holy Spirit sometimes has to get chatty with me.) I hate to admit it, but too often, far too often my answer is “Ugh! Fine! I’ll go do it.” Not exactly an act of love. That is why Our Lord is now whispering, “Do it for love of Me.” That is why I can’t get out of my head St. Therese’s words, “Little things done out of love are those that charm the Heart of Christ.”   Even as I type this, tears are escaping me. It is that strong.

My Theme Is Chosen – These words are reflected in the new blog design and it is a reminder to me whenever I see it. I share this with you because I know that we, as moms, dads, single Catholics, all of us…can get caught up in day to day life. We can get overwhelmed with our obligations and become fed up.  We can forget our first vocation and lose focus. We can get disenchanted when things aren’t going as we hoped and become cynical.  These are the times we need to step back and call on God for grace. We need to reconnect whether it is simply saying a two second prayer in the moment or arranging time off for the grace of confession. God’s grace is at our fingertips. The Holy Spirit is waiting to whisper to our hearts and let us know what is out of order so we can correct it. We only need the humility to reach out for that grace and the selfless courage to act on it. And as we practice doing these little acts with love, we are better able to handle the larger crosses that accompany life.

So, yes, I do have a theme for this year. It is The Year of Loving God…Downton style. It has a little less cheek and a lot more “Yes, m’Lord (for love of You.)”

PS – This post is linked up with Tina at Gaudete in Domino.com for Sneak Peek Saturday.

 

This post is linked up at New Evangelist.org for February’s New Evangelists Monthly.
 

 


Operation Clean and Organize: Vol 16 – The School File

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**Taming the procrastinating, ADD, mess cat within me.**


With three kids in school, every weekday afternoon we have a barrage of school papers coming through the door – homework, project assignments, permission slips and completed schoolwork. I would find them scattered all over – on my desk, on the dining room table, on the prayer altar, or worse, in Matthew’s hands. I decided I needed a file to keep everything in one spot.
I went to my home away from home, Target, and found just what I needed. I purchased a Greenroom Eco hanging file folder and folders.

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I already had a bunch of green hanging files I could use.

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I then labeled the folders and placed them in the file.

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Now when the kids come home, they empty out their backpacks and each paper goes into its proper file. Completed homework that we don’t need for future reference/studying goes in the recycling bin. (A few select art projects go in a larger scrapbook/file that they can keep.)
I also love that the file it portable so whether Brian takes it to the dining room table to work with the boys or I take it to the family room to fill out paperwork, it can easily be moved. I also clipped a sheet of notepaper to the front and jot down any projects we need to be working on and when they are due.
This was a simple project but it has already made a huge difference!

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Now I just need a way to organize all the backpacks, lunchboxes, school jackets etc in the front door entryway. I am seriously considering buying one of those preschool locker sets that the boys have at their schools. It may not be the usual house decor but it would make things so much neater! If you have any other suggestions to keep it in order, PLEASE let me know! Thanks!

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{pretty, happy, funny, real} vol. 48 / 7 Quick Takes (10/12/12) Mash-Up: Preggers Boom, Words of Love & Target-aholics

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~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~


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Time for a Friday evening {pretty, happy, funny, real} / 7 Quick Takes Mash-up/ & fave Instagrams of the week.

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It’s Beginning to Feel A Lot Like… – We’ve had our first rain of the season this week and it was wonderful! It has become tradition that once the first rain comes I listen to Christmas music and drink a cup of hot chocolate in anticipation of the holidays to come. I love it!

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Blue Heaven – The day after the storm the sky was so pretty as the clouds moved out and the sun broke through the freshly washed land.

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Biological Clock Ticking? – I’ve got baby on the brain. No, no, I am not expecting, and frankly, Brian and I believe this may be the end. Of course, one can never say never with God. But I have been thinking about it more. Normally, when I talk to people (not other Catholic families who already have a lot of kids but acquaintances or strangers) they are surprised that we have four kids and tell me how my hands must be full, blah, blah, blah, blah. (Bella and I say this often in Hotel Transylvania style. 😉 The other day we met a woman we know from church. She is a retired pediatrician and had 5 kids of her own. After we chatted, she said she was happy that we had 5 children…I corrected her and told her we only had 4. No worries! She said we should have another baby because we are such a wonderful, holy family etc. I smiled because to this sweet grandma, anyone under 45 was still considered young, despite my bones that creak in the morning and the new wrinkles and dark circles I’m finding under my eyes.
A few days later we had our carpets cleaned by a great local company and the guy, who I am assuming was about our age, was asking about our kids and if we were going to have any more. When we said we weren’t sure but didn’t think so, he said we were still young and should have another! He had eight of his own and said it was hard work but worth it. I told Brian if one more person tells us we should have another baby we may have to pray about whether or not God is trying to tell us something. LOL

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Baby Boom – I may also have baby on the brain because there is a preggers boom in blogging land! Now, of course whenever you get a group of practicing Catholic mamas together, you are bound to have a number of overlapping pregnancies but it seems like every week another blogger (or two) is announcing the blessing of a little one growing in them. By the way, that reminds me to offer congratulations to Jen, Hallie, Jenna, and the recently announced Dawn. (I could also add Betty and Karianna but they are either farther along or on the home stretch.) Okay, who’s next? (And stop looking at me.)

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Touché – In the meantime, my little climber Matthew continues to scale the furniture. It has become a game to him. His latest is to climb up on the TV stand and sit in front of the screen. Literally. Usually he then calls, “Mama!!!” and when I walk in he either laughs and say, “Ge Dow” (get down) or he shakes his finger at me and says, “No, no, no.”

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Although on this day Pocoyo came on the screen and he was too absorbed to repeat to me all the things I usually tell him.




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That look says, “You know, Mama, if you were really mad at me you’d stop taking photos and laughing about it on your blog.”



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Mother of the Zombie Apocalypse – There is nothing sweeter than hearing your kids say their prayers. There is often also a touch of humor as they are still getting the correct wording down. The other day Andrew was praying the Hail Mary and I just caught the end which sounded more like dialogue in a zombie movie…”Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for our innards now and we are deaf.”

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He Sounds Like Buckwheat from Little Rascals – In the past, since Andrew and John-Paul were both speech delayed (and A. having borderline apraxia) I would long to hear them say the words “I love you.” The other evening as I was kissing them goodnight Andrew said, “I love you, Mommy” and John-Paul echoed “I lub you, mama!” I was moved to tears. As I kissed them and told them to have sweet dreams I got JP’s signature, “Otay, mama!”

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Like Mother, Like Son – Speaking of John-Paul, he is usually my shopping buddy but I think I created a bit of a shopping monster. Everyday this week when I took him to school, as I turned off the highway to go towards his school he would yell from the backseat, “No, no! Go Target!” Every day. This morning he was off from school and I told him he had to get dressed so we could run errands. He exclaimed, “Go Target, Mama!” Yes, we were going to Target. Brian looked at us quizzically and I explained that he loved to go shopping at Target. He just shook his head and prayed under his breath, “Save us, Jesus.” One Target-aholic in the family is enough.
Have a wonderful weekend!

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Saturday Morning {pretty, happy, funny, real} vol. 45 / 7 Quick Takes (9/8/12) Mash-Up: Back to School, Baking & Toddler Terror

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~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~
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It’s been a busy week (AGAIN) so it is time for another Saturday morning {pretty, happy, funny, real}/7 Quick Takes Mash-up.

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All the kids are officially back in school. Bella started the 5th grade – and moved out of jumpers and into skirts. (Although, after this photo day she is wearing her favored uniform pants since she doesn’t like skirts. Oops, a little like her mama.)

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Andrew started Pre-K and was all smiles when he found out he got to get out earlier than Bella. (He only goes half-day.)

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It’s funny that I imagined myself having all this free time and I had my plans of continuing to clean and organize, I thought of all the projects I’d start and blog posts I’d write but I’ve done nada! First of all, between three kids attending two schools with three separate school schedules, I spend a good portion of my day lugging kids in and out of the car. In fact, yesterday when I took John-Paul to school, I must have been on auto pilot because I accidentally drive him to School A instead of School B. Luckily, I had enough time to turn around and head in the opposite direction. Anyway, add in a few errands into the mix and I have to drive right back to School A & B for the 1/2 dayers and literally don’t get back from “taking them to school” until 1:30, unless it’s a speech therapy day, then add an extra hour. By 3pm I’m finally putting the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher. Thankfully next week Brian and my father-in-law will be doing a couple of the shifts so that should ease things up.

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My other misconception was that mothering would be easier with only Matthew in the house. Egads, I am more exhausted just watching Matthew than I am caring for all four. He is at that “Cyclone Stage” where he runs around the house leaving a path of destruction everywhere. At least with the kids at home he is occupied playing with them and there is always another set of eyes to lets me know when he is causing trouble. We are both getting adjusted. In the meantime, this is what happens when I try to get some housework done.

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Put in a load of laundry – find him on the table throwing puzzle pieces.

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Put my breakfast dishes in the dishwasher – find that he gave himself a yogurt facial and shampoo.

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Try to make dinner – it’s his invitation to dump out the kitchen cabinets, again.

The first few times, this is cute and photoworthy but as I pick up the dumped cookware he runs and dumps out a book shelf. As I am putting the books back on the shelf, he opens the dishwasher and climbs inside. I get him out and wipe his dirty feet prints off the washer and he runs over and dumps over the trash can. I pick up the trash and find in the rubbish the remote control, my serving spoon and his lost shoe. He’s too young for a time out chair and I’m not into spanking but even a little swat on the bottom does nothing. I tried throwing him in his crib and fencing him in but he climbed out and knocked down the barricades. I don’t remember any of the kids being this persistent in giving me a heart attack. I don’t understand how someone so small and cute can be so strong and relentless. So we’ll see how we manage together as the weeks progress.

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Okay, since I am getting my complaints off my chest, let me just add one more thing. Normally, the boys get along fairly well but every once in awhile Matthew likes to tease John-Paul by taking one of his toys and running away with it. John-Paul, unable to fully verbalize his displeasure, will resort to screeching at the top of his lungs and grab his toy back. Matthew in turn will yell and screech at the top of his lungs. They were so loud I got flashbacks of those nature shows where the monkeys, chimpanzees, or gorillas go crazy. The boys sounded just like this…

I ran into the room and broke it up and I swear I am still shocked that the neighbors did not call child protective services or the animal control center.

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Somehow all this craziness has made me want to enjoy some of the quieter moments of mothering and homemaking. On the weekends or during a moment of uninterrupted, blessed naptime, I have been feeling domestic and cooking and baking more. I think it is partly because of the weather. Normally we have warmer weather in September but there are still those days when the fog starts to creep in…

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It looks like this.

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Until it completely covers the mountains behind us.

That is when I am most likely to go baking crazy.

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Here we used up all the over ripe bananas with Banana Blueberry Muffins, Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins and Oatmeal Banana Chocolate Chip Cookies. In fact someone was asking me for the recipe for the cookies (I tried making them a little lower in fat) so I’ll post it next week.

 

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I also dusted off my bread machine and have been making fresh bread for the family. Last night we had Italian wheat bread. The smell of bread baking is lovely!

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It went fast.

 

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Well, with all the mommy craziness, I certainly need more of God’s grace to get through it. I took this photo at the Mission’s garden and it reminds me of a mama and her baby.

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It also reminds me of St Therese of the Little Flower. I have to remember that my life with Matthew (and all the kids) is my specific road to sanctity. God knows exactly how selfish, self-centered and impatient I am. He gave me just the little guy I need to help me chip away at those faults and give me opportunities to practice patience, charity and selfless giving. (It also helps to repeat my motto, “And this too shall pass.”)
With that, I must get off the computer and practice some virtue in the form of a stinky diaper that needs to be changed, breakfast dishes that need to be washed and countless piles of laundry to be tackled. 😉
Have a great weekend!

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