Rembrandt Harmensz van Rijn – Return of the Prodigal Son
I’ve been thinking a lot about confession lately, particularly after just receiving the sacrament on Saturday. I try to go every two weeks at best and once a month at worst. I remember a time years ago when I was living with serious sin and not frequenting confession. Thankfully, the grace of God got me back on track and I am no longer a stranger to the Sacrament.
However, I now find myself in another kind of confessional quandary. I sometimes fall into the trap of thinking, “Well, I’m not doing so bad…at least I am no longer (fill in the blank with a serious sin.)” This attitude always creeps up on me when my night prayers/examination have been on the weak side. Knowing I had to correct this, I made an extra effort with my exam and went to Confession to a new priest from a local parish. Normally after I state my sins, I receive a few words of direction and then my absolution of a Hail Mary or two. However, this priest wasn’t going to give me a quickie-confession. He spoke to me in a gentle but straightforward way that actually brought me to tears.
It was if the grace of God was poured down upon me and I got a glimpse of how much Christ loves me and how my lack of love hurts his Sacred Heart. In that moment, I felt like a selfish wife who takes her husband for granted but figures that as long as she is not cheating on him, it’s okay. However, “not cheating” on your husband is much different from truly “loving” your husband.
After I left the confessional, I walked over to the sanctuary, with Bella and Andrew in tow, to pray before Our Lord and say my penance but I didn’t even have enough time and had to do my penance later in the evening. Instead of the usual two Hail Mary’s I had to say a whole rosary. It was as if God was bringing the point home and saying to me loud and clear, “I love you but don’t mistakenly think that those “little” sins don’t matter, especially since you know better. Where much has been given, much is expected.” Ouch. Point taken.
Our Lord wants all of me and I haven’t been doing that lately. I know it is a constant work in progress but I am grateful for these times when I’m given a reality check and reminded that Christ must stay at the center of my heart in order for me to selflessly love Him and sacrificially love those around me. Thank you, Lord, for your patient and merciful heart! (And to that unknown priest, thank you for giving me just what I needed! May God bless you and strengthen you!)
“Be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” (Eph 5:1-2)
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That’s a beautiful post. I recently had to say a rosary for my penance and telling my husband, he said, you must of made a very good confession. Bobbi, you must of made a beauitful, humble confession.