Today is Day 3 of my participation in Jen’s 7 Posts in 7 Days Challenge and I am rethinking my decision to participate because right now I am exhausted and I am too tired to think. LOL. There is a rain storm outside and we are thanking God for it since this is only the third time we have gotten rain all winter. I forgot what it sounded like to have the rain pounding and the wind shake the windows. On nights like this Brian always wants to watch a mystery for movie night so I am sure he will want to tonight too.
Speaking of my sweet man, today Brian had his outpatient surgery to put a port in his chest for his chemo treatments, which start March 10th. (If you are squeamish or afraid of needles this may be TMI.) Basically, the port is small medical device inserted beneath the skin. A catheter connects the port to a vein and it is used to inject the chemo or draw blood. It looks like this. Just picture it under the skin.
Thankfully the whole process only took about 3 hours and he was back home resting by late this afternoon. After the procedure I helped him get dressed and as I was kneeling on the floor putting on his socks and shoes for him, I looked up at him and he smiled at me and my heart was filled with love. I know I am selfish and I complain a lot and I get bent out of shape when things don’t go my way, but in that moment, I was happy to be on the floor helping him dress. It was my little way of telling him that I loved him and that I appreciated all the love he gives to me and the kids. And that we value every moment that he is here with us. Yeah, a lot to say over a pair of socks but the grace must have been flowing. š
This whole fight with cancer is something that we never wanted. However, in the last month there have been emotional and spiritual things revealed to us – as individuals and as a couple that have brought us closer to God and closer to each other. I know Brian has been through a lot this past month and physically the cancer had weakened him and made him sick, but he has fought bravely and grown stronger physically and spiritually. When I was talking to him this morning before his surgery he was joking around with me and I saw a look of happiness and playfulness that had been missing for awhile. I can see God working in him and I pray and hope and trust that God will continue to strengthen Brian and heal him.
But isn’t that how God so often works. Something terrible happens and suffering is endured but when we trust in God, we allow him to do amazing things. He can take the ugly and make something beautiful. He can lift us up off the floor and help us to walk once again. He can take our weakness and make us strong. He can take our doubt and replace it with faith. He can perform miracles. It is not easy since it requires us to first kiss the cross but with it comes the embrace of the resurrection.
Once again, thanks for the continued prayers. Please keep them coming. Brian is ready to watch that mystery movie so time to sign off. š
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Oh goodness, I’ve found a sister blogger who has a not-quite-perfectly-healthy husband. My guy was just diagnosed with fibromyalgia this year, and it is NOTHING compared to cancer, but you nearly made me cry with your descriptions of suffering, hope and healing in a family, and a marriage. I’ll pray for you both. Keep fighting the good fight. š
This is so beautiful, Bobbi, and oddly enough, exactly what I needed to read. No health concerns like Brian’s, of course, but just plain old fashioned need to offer it all to. Still praying for you all.
My father-in-law just “celebrated” 4 years of having cancer and what you’ve written could have been written by my mother-in-law in some cases.
On other subjects, isn’t this rain wonderful????
Fellow cancer victim here. I’m an 8 year breast cancer survivor and had the same port installed. Periodically, I still find myself rubbing the scar – my badge of honor. Being the patient, rather than the care taker, I can tell you that what you are doing for your husband is love at its finest. My husband was both my knight in shining armor and my court jester. Without him, I fear I would have lacked the will and even (perhaps) the faith, to travel this journey. Everything you do, whether you see an acknowledging smile or not, is salve to sooth his weary body, mind and soul. God bless you and your husband. I will add him to my prayer list of cancer patients.
Hi Birgit, I wanted you to know how much your comment meant to me (and Brian.) It is very encouraging when we hear from other survivors and to be reassured that it may be a rough road but it can be done. That is great that you have been cancer free for so many yeas. I pray that in eight plus years we are saying the same thing. It is also a good reminder to me that Brian will be looking to me for moral (and physical) support and I can show him how much I love him by doing it selflessly. I am not the most patient person but God is slowly teaching me! Anyway, thanks again for stopping by and for sending us your prayers. It means so much to us!! š