Revolution of Love

Revolution of Love

Do small things with great love.

How I Improved My Night Prayers & Exam of Conscience

One of my goals in August was to improve my night prayers. I had gotten into the habit of saying my night prayers in bed before I feel asleep. However, 99% of the time I was snoring before I even got into it. Praying in the horizontal position was definitely not working for me. My goal was to say my prayers before I hit the pillow so I changed my routine. Now when the boys go to bed at 7:30-ish and the house becomes incredibly quiet, I grab my quiet-time-tote-bag (that holds my books, laptop, earphones, etc) and find a quiet spot where I can spend a little time with God.

First I say a prayer to the Holy Spirit and ask Him to enlighten my heart and my mind so I can review my day and learn from my mistakes and be grateful for my blessings. To help improve these nightly exams of the heart (and my monthly confessions) I picked up an old practice I used to do years ago. It was brought back to mind when I was discussing night prayer with someone on the Blessed Is She Facebook page. I recalled how much it helped me then and I knew God was nudging me to return to it. So I bought a cheap 50 cent composition book and I use it as my exam book. I write down the things I am sorry for that day. My impatience or losing my temper or taking Brian for granted or for being unkind to so and so. Whatever it is. On occasion, there is something I don’t want to put down on paper knowing that this book may be seen by other eyes so I literally write it in a code that I would know what it is but someone else wouldn’t. I also wrote on the first page, “This is for my eyes only. If I have died and you find this book, please throw it away for me.” LOL! No, but seriously. I did.Β  πŸ˜‰

Putting it down on paper may seem dumb but seriously after writing “for losing my patience” every stinkin day for weeks on end it really hits home that, girl, you gotta do something about this! And I do try and make a greater effort to control myself. It also helps when it is time for confession. I can thumb through the past month’s entries and see what things I need to bring to the foot of the cross.

When I examine my day, I don’t just look at the negative. I also look at the good things that have happened. So after I write down the things I am sorry for, I open up my gratitude journal and write down three to five things I am grateful for that day. It can be a blessing – like a date night with Brian or getting all the laundry done or a phone call from my mom or it can be the grace of not losing my temper when someone scribbled on the wall with permanent marker. That shows me not only God’s grace in action but that I am making baby steps towards improvement. Once my books are filled, I keep the gratitude journal and trash the other.

After my exam, I say an Evening Prayer. My favorite is found on the iMissal app on my iPhone. It reads:

O my God, at the end of this day I thank You most heartily for all the graces I have received from You. I am sorry that I have not made a better use of them. I am sorry for all the sins I have committed against You. Forgive me, O my God, and graciously protect me this night. Blessed Virgin Mary, my dear heavenly mother, take me under your protection. St. Joseph, my dear Guardian Angel, and all you saints of God, pray for me. Sweet Jesus, have pity on all poor sinners, and save them from hell. Have mercy on the suffering souls in purgatory…

(followed with Act of Contrition)

It may sound like a lot of work for our already busy lives, but seriously I can get the exam done in 10 minutes easy and from there I can spend more time in quiet prayer or say a rosary or read from a spiritual book for a longer block of prayer time. If I am on a tight schedule and have a lot of other obligations to finish before bed, then I keep it short. You can make it as short or as long as you want, depending on your situation. If you are single, you can fit it in after work or before a late night study session. If you are a busy mom with crying babies or tugging toddlers, five minutes may be your tops. For moms who nurse at night, your exam may be said at 2 AM. For moms with older kids, you may be saying yours on the couch as you wait for them to come home from their date. Do whatever works for you. The main thing is to reconnect and reconcile with God and to thank Him for all the blessings of the day, even when you have to work really hard at finding a blessing on a “bad” day.

I’ll admit there are times when I want to skip this prayer because I have so many other things that I need to do but the extra effort is worth the peace and grace I receive from ending my day with God. Plus the act of physically quieting myself reminds me that above all else, God must be at the center of my heart. Only then will everything else fall into place.

How do you say your night prayers? Do you have a tip to help with preparing for confession?

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd or Instagram (It’s set to private but I’ll approve you.) πŸ˜‰

PPS – This post may contain affiliate links.


Restore Workshop: Lessons Learned (Vol 3): Self Care & Prayer and A Day in the Life

NOTE: Today is the last day to sign up for the Restore Workshop. I am about a week behind the schedule. Some elements I like to take a little more time to work on and some days I simply run out of hours in the day.

You can read my other post about the workshop here –

* * *

When I first talked about my Lenten goals with Brian, we both agreed that I needed to do a better job at taking care of myself – sleeping more, eating better, getting my exercise, etc. In the spiritual department my goal was to spend more time talking with God and doing a better job at spending quiet time with God. I think God was trying to put an exclamation point on those goals since many of the first lessons in Elizabeth Floss’Β  Restore Workshop dealt directly with those issues.

Tracy over at Making the Trek has a Day in the Life link-up and I thought it would be fun to join along. I wanted to combine the post with the lessons learned through Restore because it would be a good way to show you how I’m trying to incorporate it into my daily life. I am great at reading the books and making the perfect planner and finding cute printables but actually getting my butt in gear and DOING what I’m planning is a whole other story. I’m still learning and fumbling but you know my motto – baby steps. πŸ˜‰

A Day in the Life of A Mom…

6:20 AM – My first alarm goes off. Elizabeth encourages us to “embrace the first heroic moment of the day” and get out of bed immediately. (Spoken like a true morning person. hee hee) πŸ˜‰ I have not mastered that step yet. My first heroic act is not throwing the alarm clock against the wall. πŸ˜‰ Instead I hit the snooze and make the sign of the cross and thank God for another day of life. I reach for my iPhone and open iMissal to say my morning offering & morning prayer.

6:30 AM – Second alarm. Out of bed. I get ready to take a shower and right on cue Matthew knocks on the door. All the kids are still asleep but Matthew is an early riser and is ready to greet the day. I let him stay in the bathroom with me since I know Brian is in the family room saying his prayers and I don’t want him disturbed. Matthew lays down on the bathroom rug and watches Max and Ruby on my phone while I take a quick shower, undressing and dressing behind the shower curtain.

7:00 – Wake the kids up, say morning prayers with them, feed them breakfast and pack their lunches. The boys’ favorite weekday breakfast is a piece of toast, a half slice of cheese and fresh fruit. We have all increased our fruit and veggie intake. Luckily, we have plenty of options this time of year with our local organic farmer’s market that sells at reasonable prices.

7:40 – Brian watches the two little guys while I take Bella and Andrew to school. They are excited because it happens to be free dress and a special hot lunch day. (If you went to Catholic school, remember the excitement of a free dress day? LOL)

8:00 – On the days John-Paul goes to pre-school (T,W, & TH)Β  I have a small window to read the day’s scripture/ quote, say a short prayer and plan my Act/ Resolution for the day. (Right now I am using the prayers from the Restore Workshop but when it is over I will go back to my favorite mom devotional books.) I also look over my planner quickly and see what I need to get done for the day. Then I finish getting the little boys ready.

8:35 – 9:00 – I take John-Paul to preschool. On the drive I say a decade of the rosary while the boys talk and giggle in the back seat of the mini van.

9:00 – My mid-morning prayer alarm goes off. (I have Time for prayers and my reminder to drink water.

In Elizabeth’s essay on prayer, she spoke about the beauty of the Liturgy of the Hours, which consists of breaks in the day when you pray in the morning, mid-morning, noon, mid-afternoon, evening, night and (for the hardcore) midnight. My first reaction was, “What?? Ain’t nobody got time for dat!” But then I thought about Elizabeth’s podcast with Sarah from Amongst Lovely Things. Sarah mentioned how she prayed the L of the H and she has three bigger kids she homeschools, a toddler and twin babies! Dang, if that girl can do it then why the heck can’t I??? Elizabeth explained that depending on what season of life we are in, some of us can’t makeΒ  complete stops in our day to pray but we can stop for a few seconds and turn our heart to God saying,

God, come to my assistance.
– Lord, make haste to help me.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit:
– as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.

Ugh. I could hear God speaking to my heart. I kept pushing it aside but he’s tenacious in his love. I relented and said I would give it a try but I wasn’t ready to say the actual prayers and readings. I would set my alarm for the times and then turn my mind to God and say a short prayer. Maybe in the future I’d add on more. In the meantime I also ordered the book Elizabeth recommended The Everyday Catholic’s Guide to the Liturgy of the Hours and am almost done reading it. (More on that later.)

This photo is from a couple weeks back but the scene was the same. πŸ˜‰

Okay, back to the day…my alarm went off during the pre-school’s morning prayer and assembly so I turned it off knowing I’d be making a chapel visit in a couple minutes. Even if I wanted to skip stopping into church I couldn’t because Matthew INSISTS that we “go see Dedus.” He kneels with me before the tabernacle and I can hear his little prayer. “I lub you, Dedus. Pwease make Daddy better. I pray por Bewwa, Andoo, Bom-Paul and Mama.” He themΒ smacks pats my cheek and tells me it’s my turn, in which I have to say, “I love you Jesus. I pray for Daddy and Bella and Andrew and John-Paul (at which point he excitedly points to himself) and Matty.” He beams a smile and then furrows his brow becasue I forgot someone. He points to me…I say,Β  “and I pray for Mama.” Happily, he scoots me off the kneeler, says “Bye, Dedus, see you next time” and pulls me by the hand over to the candles where I light one and he blows out the match. It’s a morning ritual I’ve grown to love and cherish. πŸ™‚

9:20 – 10:00 – Matthew and I go for our morning walk. I’ll push him in the stroller for 3/4 of the route. Then the last 1/4 he gets out and walks with me. Getting exercise, and particularly getting outside in the fresh air, is emphasized in the workshop. When JP is at school it is easy to get outside and walk because but I need to work on the other days when I’m not driving around all day.Β  I have to make sure that I spend at least 15 – 20 minutes outside walking up and down our long deck or the driveway.

I always feel better after walking and I relish these last months with Matthew by my side before he starts preschool too!

The new planter of succulents outside our local Trader Joe’s.

10:00 – 12:00 – Time to get some shopping done. I have to run because I’m stopping at Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods and Costco. My mom calls me while I am in line at Costco so I tell her I’ll give her a call when I am back home.

12:00 – My noon prayer alarm goes off. I say the Angelus while I unpack groceries from the car. Shortly after my father-in-law brings Andrew home from school. When I am done unpacking the cold items I go in the kitchen and pack a lunch for Andrew and John-Paul that they eat in the car while I go to pick up John-Paul. I grab an apple and re-fill my water jug. We are off again.

1:15 – 2:00 – We are finally home. We get settled and take a look at the sink. I can’t deal with that right now. I need to eat first.Β  I have lunch and take a quick breather. I tell myself that I’ve got to get up earlier to have time for a bigger breakfast or pack some healthy snacks for the road because by the time I sit to eat lunch I am starving and I want to trade my healthy salad for a greasy burger and fries and piece of chocolate cake. Ack! Something to work on. I get a few bites in and I hear “Mama, I’m done. Can you wipe me?” I walk down the hallway and hear, “Me too.” Wow, a double hitter. I’ve only had triple toilet/diaper duty once or twice so far.

I finish lunch and call my mom back for a quick chat while I get all the dishes washed and cleared away. My kitchen is a happy place again. The boys are playing outside and not giving me too much trouble. God is being merciful to me. I better keep moving before the tide turns.

Can you even tell this is a dining room table?

2:00 – I throw in a load of laundry and tackle all the dishes that have accumulated in the sink. I also wanted to do my best to tackle one bigger project in the house before I had to start dinner. Yesterday I had a mini-break down because there was so much junk accumulated everywhere. There are pockets of clean & organized and pockets of disaster. I heard a priest once say that the devil hides in the mess and clutter. Well, a devil was certainly there yesterday because I was yelling and having a fit like the old BC-Bobbi. (As in Before Christ). One of those breaking point triggers is our dining room table. It is a catch-all for everyone to dump all their junk. It would be okay if it was emptied off every night but a few busy days of not being home or doing other things and disaster strikes. So today I was striking back. The boys are tired from playing outside so I put a movie on for them and bribe them with crackers and cheese sticks (and maybe a couple of non-Lenten chocolate chips) if they sit quietly so I can finish my cleaning project. I also made a mental note to give them some extra playtime with me tomorrow since I was so busy today. Tomorrow is Friday and I don’t have to leave the house (much.) yay! Okay, back to work.

By the time it was over I could hear the angels singing. πŸ˜‰ And I only had to yell, “Boys stop fighting/ wrestling/ screaming/ jumping off the furniture” 20 times in an hour. Getting better. Note to self – Write that down in your gratitude journal, baby!

3:00 – My alarm for my mid-afternoon prayer goes off. I hear Matthew yell from the other room, “Time to talk to Dedus again, Mama.” I say a decade of the divine Mercy chaplet and refill my water jug. My father-in-law brings home Bella from school. I wash more laundry and have the kids pick up their toys that are scattered everywhere before they continue playing or do homework. I make a mental note to add that to my gratitude journal – I didn’t lose my temper when I saw their mess and I didn’t just quickly clean it myself but made them do it. (I’m getting make-the-kids-do-more-chores inspiration from my sis.) πŸ˜‰

4:15 – I set up my laptop in the kitchen so I can listen to this week’s Restore podcast that I missed on Monday. I start dinner while listening. I have to stop frequently to jot down notes but luckily I had leftover Sneaky Spaghetti Sauce so I only needed to make the pasta and salad. I’m glad for that because I am running out of steam. (Where are those chocolate chips?)

5:00 – My evening prayer alarm goes off. John-Paul calls out from the other room, “Time for you to say your prayers, Mama!” I’m glad everyone is keeping me on my toes. πŸ˜‰ Frankly, I am starting to get the hang on this stopping and turning my mind to God. It no longer seems foreign and ridiculous for my life. After three weeks of saying my own quick prayers and after almost finishing The Everyday Catholic’s Guide to the Liturgy of the Hours book, it’s making a lot of sense to me. I was moved by the part of the book where Daria Sockey says…

“This [Liturgy of the Hours] symphony – a melody of praise, sometimes sung, sometimes spoken – travels from time zone to time zone, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year. It is like a flaming torch of prayer being passed around the globe, relay style, by spiritual athletes. This is what attracts so many people to the liturgy of the Hours: the idea that, when we pray these daily psalms and readings, we are praying in unison with our fellow believers around the world.”

I love that image of the torch being lit. Each of us doing our bit, uniting our prayers to God, pleading for ourselves, for our loved ones and for those most in need of God’s mercy. The visual image I have in my head is from The Lord of the Rings when they light the beacons.

Source

Each of us are in our own home/life lifting our hearts and prayers to God, lighting our beacon and joining others as they light theirs. From the heavens there are rows and rows of flaming beacons as we are united in our praise and united in our fight against the evils of this world. It makes me want to go a little deeper so I scheduled evening prayer at 5:00 PM when I am cooking dinner. I open up Divine Office.org on my computer and they have an audio option to hear the prayers being said. It’s only about 15 minutes and has worked great so far. They also have phone apps but my phone is maxed out and I’ll have to delete some stuff before I can download it. (Maybe I should start with the 1500+ photos. Even my phone needs some serious spring cleaning!) Anyway, I am going to try using the audio for some of the other daytime prayers, particularly when I am in the car.

6:00 – Time to eat. We light our Lenten candles and say our Lenten prayers together before grace because night prayers haven’t worked for us but dinner prayers has. Today it is Matthew’s turn to lead the petitions and pick out the new Act of Love and Prayer Intention for tomorrow. There are still a few “But that’s not fair” muttered by those who have a hard time waiting their turn but not as many as there used to be. We make it through the prayers and dig in.

6:30 – Dishes, dishes and more dishes. Yeah, I’ve gotten to enjoy making home cooked meals but all the clean up, not so much. I add a bean to the sacrifice jar. πŸ˜‰

7:00 – Showers, PJ’s and teeth brushing. I can see the finish line….

7:30 – We hear the usual protests that it is still light outside but they know by now we don’t care. It’s bed time.Β  The boys get a story read to them, brief night prayers, kisses and then lights out. Bella is allowed to stay up an extra hour in her room reading or drawing. I realize I haven’t taken any photos after dinner but I’m too tired do anything about it.

8:00 – My night prayer alarm goes off. I open up Divine Office.org but instead of listening to the audio I read the prayers myself and say my act of contrition. I write down my five things in my gratitude journal and jot a few thoughts in my prayer journal. I thank God for the grace to spend this time with him in prayer since I have always struggles with my prayer life. Prayer does not come easily and it still doesn’t but by taking small steps each day I am slowly making progress and that’s what counts.

8:30 – We kiss Bella good night then Brian and I catch up on the news about work and what went on during our day and how he’s feeling. (BTW, he’s feeling relatively good and survived his first cycle of chemo. He starts round 2 on Monday.)Β  We then sit down and pick something to watch from the DVR. Tonight it is The Blacklist, which always makes me want to watch Pretty in Pink. πŸ˜‰

10:00 – Brian goes to bed since he likes to get up early. I stay up for another 45 minutes and work on this post.I’m tempted to stay up later but I know I’ll be crying in the morning if I do, so I call it a night.

10:45 – I grab my camera and get ready for bed. I try to decide what I could shoot with all the lights off and everyone asleep. I take a snap of the bathroom sink and then get ready for bed.

11:00 – I say my good night to Our Lord and thank Him for such a blessed life.

* * * * *

If you want to know more about the Liturgy of the Hours, I recommend these resources.

BookThe Everyday Catholic’s Guide to the Liturgy of the Hours by Daria Sockey

WebsiteDivine Office.org

WebsiteCoffee and Canticles

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads or Instagram. πŸ˜‰


Restore Workshop – Lessons Learned (Vol 1): Melt Downs, Being at Peace & Theme Thursday: Hear

I am linking this post’s photos with Cari’s Theme Thursday: Hear. I have been hearing God speak to my heart throughout the week.

* * *

When I hear raindrops fall I think of God’s grace raining down.

Living in beautiful but dry California, we don’t have really have winter. (Well, other than instead of wearing shorts and bare feet around the house, on cooler days, I wear yoga pants and bare feet around the house.) So when the forecast called for rain, we relished the chance to watch the drops fall from the grey sky and hear the patter on the roof. It was cathartic to see the rain wash away all the yellow pollen everywhere and give drink to the parched earth. That is how I felt this week…like God’s grace has been falling down on my parched soul and it has been all because of the Restore Workshop.

Now I admit that when I signed up for the workshop I was a little apprehensive. Not about the workshop itself but about my ability to stick with it. I have started Bible studies and book studies and other online series only to let them fall by the wayside after a few days. Plus, life is just so busy! Logically, the last thing I need right now is extra stuff to do when Brian is in the middle of his chemo and with me having more responsibility at home so he can rest. Why bother?? But inside I just knew, God wanted this. So I signed up.

The course is set up so we have quiet reflection/prayer each morning of the week. On Monday there is a podcast, Tues – Thurs there is an essay to read and an action to work on. Friday is a hands-on activity or tutorial. The weekends are for spendingΒ  time with family. It seems ridiculous to add this course to my already busy days but I really felt God’s tug.

Hear my cry, O Lord.

I wish I could say that it all started out wonderfully but it seems that whenever I know in my heart that God wants me to do something, it is like Murphy’s Law – everything will go wrong to discourage me from doing what I need to do. I won’t bore you with the details but the night before I was to start, a sick child kept me up all night. Then once the day started one thing after another was going wrong. Stupid, everyday mom stuff really – fighting kids, a broken vase, an explosive diaper, a printer that wouldn’t work, sick kids, tired hubby with cancer, a burnt meal…all within the first hour of the day. I calmly (well, relatively speaking πŸ˜‰ ) handled each little crisis, asking God for the grace not to lose my temper but it was getting harder and harder as each thing hit.

I got the older kids off to school and the younger kids were playing with their train set while I pulled out my material and prayer journal and tried to spend a little time in prayer since I wasn’t able to earlier. After about the 5th interruption I told the boys that mama needed 5 minutes to herself so they were to play quietly while I got this done. They kindly gave me those 5 minutes but in the 6th minute when I had my eyes closed and was speaking from my heart to God and pleaded, “Help me, Lord,” at that precise moment, Matthew, who managed to find a cup with milk in it, came over and spilled it all over my shirt, my pants and the couch. It was the final straw. I packed up my bible and books and said that’s it. I give up.

Okay, so maybe trying to get some prayer time in while the kids were awake was not the smartest idea and maybe it was tragically cliche that I was crying over spilled milk but frankly, I don’t spend enough quiet time with God so I was just trying to fit in what I could, where I could. But you cannot reason with a woman who is upset and feeling PMS-y. I went to the bathroom to wash off and change and I couldn’t help but think of the scene from It’s A Wonderful Life when George Bailey was sitting in the bar and in desperation prayed out to God for help. Shortly after he was punched in the nose by that teacher’ s husband. Ha! What an answer to prayer. In reality, God had a plan for George. He was watching over him and was taking drastic measures to help George….but, whatever. I didn’t care about that so I angrily threw my milk-soaked clothes in the hamper, dried my stinging tears and went to do my usual chores as I tried to cool off.

Writing words down helps me to better understand what God wants me to hear.

Later in the afternoon/evening, the sun was shining and Brian was home from work. He went out on the deck with the kids, which left me with 15 minutes to myselfΒ  before I had to start dinner so I opened up my prayer journal again to try and finish my morning meditation. Here is what I wrote in my journal…

“So what is God trying to tell me today? What was the reason for my “punch in the nose.” As I sit here quietly and think, my eyes fall upon Brian’s icon of Jesus crowned with thorns. My mind hears, “Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto thine.” Jesus is asking me to carry my cross and to not get discouraged when I fall once, twice, and a third time. He understand what it feels like to be on the floor broken. But he also knows the goal he is trying to reach. During his passion he gathered his strength to stand back up and keep moving forward. Our Lord is ready to share that same strength with me, to lift me up off the floor, wipe my face, kiss my cheek and walk hand in hand with me. Whether my troubles are mundane or overwhelming, He is there always at my side…”

I apologized to God for my little tantrum that morning and asked him how he could possibly put up with me because sometimes I can be such a pain in the arse that even I get annoyed with myself. I could almost hear him chuckle and caress my cheek, the same way I do when Matthew simultaneously annoys me and touches my heart. At the end of the day I was convicted that this workshop is what I need right now and I have to give it my focus, even if it requires me to temporarily set aside blogging and other activities to make it happen. I have a lot of notes and thoughts I want to share with you but it is going to take awhile so I’ll just give you bits and pieces as time allows.

The window sill of my kitchen where many prayers are whispered for God to hear.

The podcast for Week 1 was with Sarah at Amongst Lovely Things and it was perfectly timed. Sarah is currently doing a blog series entitles Teaching from a State of Rest. Her podcast took that concept and applied it to mothering. When I heard the term “mothering from a state of rest” I thought maybe it was about how to raise your kids without leaving your bed. πŸ˜‰ Sarah explained that being in a state of rest means being where God wants us to be. It is doing what He wants us to do. Being at rest is learning to be obedient and to surrender ourselves to God in the daily duties of our mom lives. It is then that we can find peace and rest.

I also loved how she explained that we often get upset when our day is interrupted by various situations (yeah, I’m thinking…fighting kids, a broken vase, an explosive diaper, a printer that wouldn’t work, sick kids, tired hubby with cancer, burnt food…). But those aren’t interruptions to our plans for the day…they ARE our day. Those things are exactly what God wants us to be working on and he provides the grace to do so at those precise moments. But that is so hard to do! It requires surrender, not once, but continuously throughout our day.

Elizabeth and Sarah also discussed that it is good for us to have a general plan for our day or week (and not go to the other extreme of having no plan and just flying by the seat of our pants) but we have to be flexible. In the morning we offer our day and out plansΒ  to God but with a sense of detachment, knowing that God will be adding in his own plans for us. But the more we accept this and learn to let go the more we will be able to mother from a state of rest. I have been trying to put this into practice by constantly telling myself “God is asking this of you” when I am interrupted.Β  I love Elizabeth’s comment that “the daily grind is holy ground.” (Light bulb!) I love that image. It’s sometimes very hard to live it but being in that frame of mind DOES bring more peace to my day, or rather, brings peace to my soul, despite what my day looks like. It’s a constant work in progress but at least I’m working on it. πŸ˜‰

Well, I need to call it a night so I’ll post more this weekend. In the meantime, have a blessed night/day.Β  πŸ™‚

POSTSCRIPT – After I posted this I was browsing PlainGrace.com and realized Jenny wrote a post about the Restore Workshop and the podcast by Sarah. I love what she said about her take on finding beauty to restore your soul. I’ll be talking about that in an upcoming post. In the meantime, go read the great things she has to say. πŸ™‚

UPDATE: The next post – Restore Workshop – Lessons Learned (Vol 2): Remember Gratitude

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads or Instagram. πŸ˜‰


Lenten Journey 2014: Part 1

Happy first Sunday of Lent! Since I shared with you what we are doing for Lent as a family, I thought I’d also share what I’m working on in my own Lenten journey.

I was reading Erring on the Side of Love/Amanda’s blog post Lent: My Little Fat Tuesday and I swear I could have copied word for word what she wrote and signed my name to it. Listen to this:

Joy.Β Somewhere between marriage and having babies I feel that I’ve lost the sense of joy in my little day-to-day happenings. Or, if I am in a joyful spirit it can go from laughs and fun to a lost temper real quick. I really want to work on that. I want to keep joy in our home not only for myself but also for my boys and husband.

Diligence. I know I desire it, but I struggle with it. It’s very easy for me to get caught up in my tendency to feel frazzled if things don’t go according to the little plans I have in my head. I want to try to overcome that and be more diligent in my daily duties as a wife, mother, and CEO of our little home. I want to be diligent in not only making our home a home, but also in readings and meeting with my Lord. I want to be diligent in making time for him daily. Even if it’s reading just one verse from scripture so that I can grow to know Him more. And, I pray that I am able to share this daily with my husband and the boys.

Omg, yes. I feel like Gru from Despicable Me when he was falling in love. He was so happy making the girls their meal and being playful with them. He walked down the street and his happiness was contagious. Then when his romance was thwarted he was a mean grouch. These days I am too much like that. I have a harder time holding onto my happiness. The slightest thing can just set me off and Mrs. Nasty is back. It’s not really a new fault. It’s been there as long as I can remember. Once, many years ago, I went to confession and told the priest that I get so bent out of shape when things don’t go how I want them. The kind priest asks me, “What makes you so special that you shouldn’t have little crosses pop up throughout your day.” Ouch. But it was just what I needed to hear. Two decades later, I am still thinking of that comment.”

So I want to work on getting that happiness back. I want to be a good mom but one that also knows how to be playful. It’s one of the things I love the most about my mom. She is wise and prayerful but she can be playful and laugh in life. That always brings joy to my heart. I want my kids to see that in me. Not the grumpy mom that blows up at the slightest mishap. I want to be a mom that is flexible enough to roll with the punches and find the humor in the inevitable craziness that comes with the territory.

This is going to be my Lenten soundtrack. πŸ˜‰

There are a couple of things I am doing to help me achieve that.

1. Morning prayer and little talks with God. Lately, I have been doing my short prayer reflections at the end of the day but I don’t like the timing of it. I think I am better when I start the day off with my prayer time and get that grace I need to get me through the day. Since my saint of the year is St. Benedict, I found this book of Lenten reflections – Lent and Easter Wisdom From St. Benedict.

It has been good for me and helping me to keep my focus on Christ. I have also been trying to turn my mind to Our Lord and Our Lady throughout the day…to ask for their help…to guide me in my work. That way when I feel my temper rising or when I am about to get frazzled, I can turn to them to put out the fire before it starts.;-)

2. Spend more time doing fun things outside the house. We live in a ridiculously gorgeous part of the earth and there is no excuse not to go out and enjoy it. This afternoon we went hiking at Point Lobos Preserve and it was rejuvenating to get outside and be physical. We all had so much fun and I could taste that happiness once again. Sure when we got home there were some meltdowns and mishaps but I was able to keep my cool and just deal with it.

3. Remember that it’s more than just giving up treats. On Thursday the kids were off school so I took them to the library, which a a HUGE treat for them. They love the library! Then we came home and made smoothies and popcorn and watched one of the DVD’s they borrowed from the library. Afterwards we read books together. They asked me why they were allowed to have these treats during a Lenten day. I told them that although we got to do something special, we are also learning to love one another and to be kind to one another. I pointed out how Bella and Andrew helped the younger ones at the library, John-Paul shared his book with Matthew and each of them were speaking kindly to one another. Plus Mommy was spending time with them instead of being too busy in the kitchen or the laundry room or on the computer. I told them that is really what lent is about. Learning to love God more and to love one another more. That is what we had been practicing that day. They smiled and put a their beans in the sacrifice jar for the acts of kindness and love they displayed. (That bean jar has been a huge hit in the house!)

Frankly, I was a little shocked myself that they were acting so well. For one brief moment I felt like one of those holy mom bloggers that I envy that have the six kids in matching outfits as they sit quietly at the dinner table and do math problems for fun. That proud feeling was gone once Matthew hit John-Paul on the head with his light saber but it was nice to know than in between the chaos we can have moments of peace and harmony. πŸ˜‰

4. Take better care of myself. When my mom was visiting us two weeks ago, I asked her, since she has been watching me interact with Brian and the kids, what would be the one thing she thinks I need to work on in my mommy life during Lent. I thought she would say something like – you need to discipline the kids more or don’t get so grouchy or be a little more patient with Brian and caring for him etc. Instead she said, “I think you need to get more sleep.” Ugh. I knew she was right. The problem is that I am a night owl. I HATE waking up early and I LOVE staying up late but with the kids’ school schedule I have to be up around 6:15 AM. That is fine but when I don’t get to bed until 11:30…12:00…12:30…that makes for one grouchy mama. She pointed out that I needed a good night’s rest in order to take care of my rambunctious boys and do all the things I need to do each day.

I told Brian what my mom said and he replied, “It’s true. You go to bed too late. And you know, I think you also need to drink more water… and eat more fruit… and be more consistent about taking your vitamins.” Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is this? Gang up on Bobbi Day? But, dang it,Β  he’s right. Then he hugged me and says, “I need you, love. I need you to be healthy to help me. I can’t get though this cancer without you by my side helping me and taking care of the kids. What would we do if you weren’t here?” OMG, hand me a kleenex (and my bottle of water and an apple and my multivitamin while you are at it.) Okay, God. I get your message loud and clear.

So, that is what I have been working on for Lent. I actually had a few other things on my mind that I was going to work on too but as I am typing here I feel like God is telling me not to make my plans too ambitious. There is already enough here to keep me busy. Besides, I know what my tendency is…I run strong and fast at the beginning but I have very poor follow through. I am not diligent. I am more of a “is it time for recess yet?” gal. Hopefully, blogging here about my progress will help me be accountable. (Cue my mom’s phone call saying, “So I read what you wrote on the blog…”)Β  πŸ˜‰

Have a good night. I’ll be in bed early. I promise.

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads or Instagram. πŸ˜‰


Lenten Ideas 2014 – Bringing Lent Home

FOR THE UPDATED VERSION OF THIS POST, PLEASE GO TOPinterest Party & Link-up (vol 35): Lenten Activities for the Home (2015)

* * * * *

It’s hard to believe that Lent starts tomorrow! The only good thing is that I’ve actually prepared for it now instead of two or three weeks into it. I know, right? Shocker. We are doing many of the same traditions we did last year. Here are the main ones.

I love putting wreaths and welcome signs on our door. For Lent, I made a simple Lenten wreath to mark the season.

***

We have our regular family altar in the entryway of the house and that stays pretty much the same all year. However, we have a shelf in the family room by the table where we eat that we decorate according to the season. Here is where we keep our Lenten things.

***

We set up a candle centerpiece using a long rectangular tray filled with six votive candles for the six weeks of Lent.

***

I purchased tiny wreaths from Michael’s that fit around the candle. We add a wreath to a candle on each Sunday of Lent.

***

We printed off Catholic Icing’s Lenten Calendar and I placed it in an inexpensive frame from Ikea. I use a dry erase pen to mark a cross on each day as it passes. It is great for the kids, who have no sense of time, to see how many more days until Easter.

***

One of the kids favorite activities for Lent is their Act of Love and Prayer jars. The Act of Love jar has different things they can do each day such as share a toy with your sibling or be extra nice to someone at school or do an extra chore. The Prayer Jar has a special intention for each day. With our evening schedules, we have found our best prayer time to be before dinner since we are already gathered together. Since the altar is right next to our table, we light our candle, Brian leads us in prayer and then we chose an act and prayer intention for the next day. (The morning of the following day I remind the kids what our act of love and prayer intention is for that day.)

* * *

This year we also added Kendra’s idea of using Sacrifice Beans. Every time the kids complete one of their Acts of Love or makes a sacrifice they put a dried kidney bean in the bowl. On Easter Sunday the dry beans are changed to jelly beans or some other treat. (I’m thinking a visit to the Aquarium unless I can swing a trip to Disneyland. I’m trying to work some Disney magic…) πŸ˜‰

* * *

In case you think we are a holy family with heads bent in prayer, let me also give you a dose of reality. I also had to add a “prayer helper” of the day sign. When it comes to who gets to offer their prayer intention first or who gets to blow out the candle or who gets to choose the Act of Love that day, we have had the boys literally come to blows and screaming, which ends in me yelling at them and Brian sending them to their rooms for misbehaving. (Aw, peaceful prayer time.) Since they are used to having a “Student of the Day” in school so we took that same concept with the “prayer helper of the day.” The name rotates and we have greatly reduced the yelling and body blows.Β  (Now if we can just get John-Paul to stop praying for things like “more Star Wars toys” as his prayer intention. πŸ˜‰

Lastly we added our Stations of the Cross pictures to the altar. When we say the Stations of the Cross as a family, we follow this book The Way of the Cross from Magnificat/Ignatius.

 

Here are some other Lenten activities we will be doing as a family.

  • Turn off the TV and the computer/iphone more. I have a basket of religious type books that the kids can look at or we can read together. I am also using the Lenten Adventure Activity Books from Holy Heroes, which are great! There are activity pages and coloring pages for the young ones for each day of Lent up until Divine Mercy Sunday.
  • Fasting from Eating Out. Instead of eating out we will eat whatever left overs we have in the house. We will use the money we saved to buy food to put into the food boxes at church for St. Vincent de Paul’s ministry. The kids get to pick out food and take it to the church. (My sacrifice is letting them “help” me.) πŸ˜‰
  • Visit Jesus – Make more visits to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. Let the kids light a candle before they kneel and pray.
  • Donate – Spring clean the toy box and donate toys they don’t use anymore to our local St. Vincent de Paul thrift store.

We can add more as we go but this is what is planned so far. For ideas for your own family, check out these sites.

Today I focused on things we do as a family. Next I’ll share what I’ll be working on myself this Lent. πŸ™‚ In the meantime, share you favorite Lenten traditions in the comments. πŸ™‚ If you have a blog, leave your link!

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads or Instagram. πŸ˜‰