Revolution of Love

Revolution of Love

Do small things with great love.

Online Daybook (6/2/14): Family Walks, Menus and Praying over a Dirty Toilet

 

Moments of Gratitude…

Today I am especially thankful for

  • Family walks
  • Wildflowers
  • The sound of the kids’ giggles.
  • Stolen kisses in the kitchen.
  • Words of encouragement.
  • Almost the end of school.
  • Summer plans.

 

Beauty in the Ordinary…

 I went for my morning walk and there were fishing boats everywhere.

 

If you like fresh sea food and gorgeous ocean views, come visit Monterey, CA. 🙂 (The askew shot of the horizon is bugging me but I love the colors.)

In the Kitchen…

M – Chili beans, cornbread and broccoli.

T – Chicken cacciatore with brown rice and roasted asparagus.

W – Tacos with Southwestern Black Bean Salad.

Th – Leftovers.

F – Chef Salad topped with BBQ chicken.

S – Homemade wheat pizza and Greek salad.

S – It’s Andrew’s birthday so he got to pick his favorite. He wanted tuna melts followed by chocolate cake. 🙂

 

Praying…

  • For Brian’s chemo and continued recovery from cancer.
  • For all those who are fighting cancer and other illnesses.
  • For family and friends who are pregnant.
  • For those trying to get pregnant that God will bless them with new life.
  • For those suffering from abuse, mental illness and addiction.
  • For the souls in purgatory.
  • For those most in need of God’s mercy.
  • For some special intentions.

 

On the homefront……

On Tuesday Brian started Round 4 of chemo. He has been doing really well and his blood work came out okay so we are hoping and praying things continue to go well. It’s crazy how many people are dealing with cancer right now. I mean, I knew it was a problem but not until it hit us personally did I really see how many lives are touched by it. Lately I feel like there has been one person after another that has died from cancer and it makes it harder to be positive and not dwelling on the worse. Thankfully, these last couple of days I have heard from or read about people who have fought cancer and have remained cancer-free for some time.

Life is so full of uncertainty, whether you are battling cancer or just being an innocent bystander, that you can’t really dwell on the “what ifs.” You’ve just got to keep your eyes on God and enjoy the time you’ve been blessed with your loved ones. That is sometimes difficult when I am knee deep in normal family chaos but the right attitude (and  sense of humor) can make it not only bearable but enjoyable.

 

Pondering…

I’ve been trying to add more little acts of prayer to help combat my tendency to complain about the my mommy chores.

* * * * *

Previous Version – Scene 1: In the laundry room.

As I am sorting out clothes and I see that one of the littles used his sleeve as a napkin again and got chocolate stains on his light colored shirt. As I’m scrubbing the stain my mind says, “Ugh! Why did I ever buy this guy a light colored shirt. That was so stupid. And why can’t that kid ever use a napkin. How  many times have I told him not to wipe his mouth on his sleeve. And who gave him chocolate anyway? He’s only supposed to eat chocolate on the weekend. Ugh. It’s like talking to a wall around here…” (Anger rises until I snap at the next person who tries to talk to me.)

Updated version

As I’m scrubbing the stain, “Sigh. Chocolate stains. I give it to you, God. Scrubbing this stain is what you are asking of me at this moment in time but note to self – no more light colored shirts for the boys. How did he get chocolate anyway? Oh, yeah. That was when Opa babysat the kids so Brian and I could go out to lunch. Oh, that was so nice. I love spending time with Brian. How did I ever get so blessed to have such a man in my life….” (Brian comes into the laundry room and I give him a big kiss. He is more than pleased. ;-))

Previous Version – Scene 2: In the bathroom

One of my little men had trouble aiming into the toilet. As I am cleaning up the mess my mind says, “What is wrong with that kid? Why is it so hard for him to aim in the toilet? If he would stop fooling around and pay attention to what he is doing I wouldn’t be stuck here cleaning up this mess…”

Updated version

“He missed again. Well, at least he is finally potty trained. I remember how hard that was. He can be so stubborn at times. Brian says he gets that from me. haha. Lord, help my little guy and his stubborn ways. He has such a good and loving heart. Help me as a mom to bring out his best qualities…”

* * * * *

Yeah, okay so maybe I don’t always sound just like that and maybe I’m sometimes cussing under my breath but I have asked my guardian angel to nudge me when I am going to lose it and I do try to turn it into a prayer or not try to get so upset. And when I can’t get the words out I simply say a Hail Mary (or a decade) as I work. I’ve prayed many a Hail Marys as I’ve scrubbed a toilet. 😉

 

Around the house…

Well, from the sounds of it dirty toilets and chocolate stains. 😉

 

Reading…

I finished reading The Fault in Our Stars and will see the movie later this week. I have mixed feelings about the book. I’ll try and wrangle those thoughts to paper and post a review.

My next book to finish is Jen’s Something Other Than God: How I Passionately Sought Happiness and Accidentally Found It. Loving it so far.

I have skimmed over The Little Oratory: A Beginner’s Guide to Praying in the Home but tonight I want to sit down and really focus on Chapter 1 so I can join along with Elizabeth and Leila as they discuss it on their podcast. Elizabeth is also hosting a link-up for you to share your own thoughts. Check it out here.

 

Listening to…

Relient K’s Collapsible Lung and Matthew and John-Paul laugh at the antics of Peppa Pig and George.

 

Watching…

Austenland (It was just so-so but I am a fan of the actor that played the Darcy-like character.) Saving Mr. Banks (Brian had not seen it yet.) The Book Thief (I really love this movie.)

 

On the blog…

I am putting together a list of weekly Link-Ups from various Catholic bloggers. I love link-ups, although I have been wanting to do a little more “meat and potato” posts than just link-ups. That is why I posted Despite What You May Think… You Are a Good Mom a couple days ago. I was reading through the comments and these three especially touched me and got me thinking about the topic even more…

One thing that encourages me is that I remember that even though I feel so far below those “perfect” moms, *I* am the mother that God chose for my children. Considering He doesn’t make mistakes, there must be good reason for them coming to me even though I don’t sew curtains or make wonderful meals or run marathons and couldn’t keep a blog going to save my life. I guess He knew that whatever strengths I have, those are the ones my kids need. It seems like God had the same thing in mind when he gave your kids to you, and your sister’s kids to her… (Sharon)

***

I think we all struggle with these feelings, but I also feel that whenever you undertake anything you care about you worry that you might not be giving it everything you can. And your children keep growing and changing so that you can’t really stay on top of things. So I try to remind myself that I have these feelings because I care so deeply and not because I am inadequate. But I am far from a perfect mother, of course! (Rita)

***

I think sometimes when we haven’t faced a particular challenge as a parent (or just in life) it’s hard to imagine what it’s really like. There are so many things that I just couldn’t have imagined and that I would have said was parenting before having a child on the spectrum and I think that having a kid with ASD has opened my eyes to how many different ways can be right, depending on the kid and family… (Cam)

 

I love the online interaction and in turn I will comment more on other blogs I read to let them know I appreciate their words. 🙂

Also on the blog, being the month of June, which brings us many June brides,  I am working on a couple marriage related posts. I’m hoping the next Pinterest Party will be marriage related so get your posts raedy to link! It can be money saving tips, wedding decor or posts about living a God centered marriage. More details coming!

 

In the blogosphere…

5 Ways to Cut Down on Whining by Whole Parenting Family

What Slowing Down Will Teach You

Ten Books of Poems for Kids by Everyday Snapshots

Summer Shakespeare Chat: Much Ado About Nothing by Clan Donaldson

What if our Lord sang that? (Vol. 1) by My Life as a Fireman’s Wife

 

Pinned…

See my latest pins here – pinterest.com/rol_bobbi/pins/.

Here are my two favorite of this week…

The Ronald Reagan Guide to Essential Oils//Call Her Happy

From the Garden: Fresh Mint Homemade Ice Cream Recipe // Carrots for Michaelmas

 

Plans for the Week…

School is winding down so we have a number of school activities on the schedule. Thursday is mama’s movie night. (I put the kids to bed and tuck in Brian with a good book or the remote and then head out for one of my favorite pastimes – watching a movie on the big screen.) This week it is The Fault in Our Stars. This weekend is also Andrew’s birthday and we wants an ocean theme party and a trip to the Aquarium. Fun. 🙂

 

Captured…

A couple more photos from our family walk.

 

Linking-Up with…

Jenny at The Littlest Way

A Mama Collective’s Currently

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd or Instagram (It’s set to private but I’ll approve you.) 😉

PPS – This post may contain affiliate links.


Online Daybook (5/19/14) and Currently and Answer Me This Mash-up

Moments of Gratitude…

Today I am especially thankful for

  • Family time.
  • Quiet time with Brian.
  • Spring walks.
  • Seeing the light at the end of a huge laundry tunnel.
  • A tax return that paid for a new desktop computer because the old one finally bit the dust.
  • Little boys that are playing (relatively) quiet so I can blog. 😉

 

Beauty in the Ordinary…

You’ll see a lot of ice plants in these coastal areas and our backyard is in full bloom with their flowers.

 

In the Kitchen…

M – Turkey burgers, coleslaw and veggies

T – Pork Roast, brown rice, broccoli

W – Soup and tuna salad sandwiches (We have a school function that evening so quickie dinner.)

Th –  Grilled Chicken and All Hail Kale Salad

F – Breakfast dinner

S – Leftovers

S – Dinner at Oma and Opa’s

 

Praying…

  • For Brian’s chemo and continued recovery from cancer.
  • For all those who are fighting cancer and other illnesses.
  • For my brother-in-law who left home for training before being deployed to Afghanistan.
  • For my sister, his newlywed bride, that she is given the strength and courage to endure the separation.
  • For all our military, especially those we’ve adopted.
  • For the military wives and family left behind.
  • For peace throughout the world and in the hearts of mankind.
  • For all those who suffer abuse or are victims of crime, especially the kidnapped Nigerian girls and particular Na’omi Bitrus, the girl I chose to keep in prayer.

 

On the homefront……

Today starts Brian’s off week of chemo. He is officially half way done with treatment. Yay! He starts round four on Tuesday. Since the doc adjusted his meds, this third round was not as difficult as the second. He’s hanging in there. Thanks for the continued prayers! 🙂 We had such a lovely weekend together and I made sure we spent time as a family and that Brian had time with me while the kids were at the in-laws. It’s so wonderful to see him smiling and happy.

 

Pondering…

My prayer life. During Lent it was going really well. I was spending time each day in meditative prayer with God and it was helping with my attitude and keeping the family in harmony. Frankly, after Easter and going on our spring vacation, it was like I also took a vacation from my prayer routine. All those lessons I was learning in the Restore workshop were falling to the wayside. I could feel the negative effect of it – it gets much harder to be at peace amidst the chaos when I am going at it alone. I need to keep on top of my prayer routine. It doesn’t take away the trials of the day but it helps greatly in keeping me focused on God so I can take care of Brian and the kids and keep a peaceful atmosphere at home.

Time in prayer with God is key but I also know that taking care of myself, having alone time to recharge and having time alone with Brian for us to reconnect is also vital. I was talking to Brian about this yesterday and told him I am going to work on getting back on track and reinstall the disciplines that were helping us. First on the agenda – a schedule change so I get some prayer time in the morning; Second – Confession for a good soul scrubbing and a boost of grace; Third – schedule a date this weekend with Brian. After all, we’re better and happier parents when we keep our love and friendship alive and growing. 🙂

 

Around the house…

You’ll find a new computer in our front room since our old one was hanging by a thread. Thankfully, I learned from my previous mistakes and back upped all my docs, photos and videos on an external drive so I wouldn’t lose them. As I was looking through some old folders, I found a bunch of old videos I took of the boys when they were all babies and toddlers. The boys spend almost an hour watching  through them and giggling at their cuteness. Why does time have to go by so incredibly fast? Sigh.

 

Reading…

Same as last week.

Something Other Than God: How I Passionately Sought Happiness and Accidentally Found It.

The Little Oratory: A Beginner’s Guide to Praying in the Home

The Fault in Our Stars

 

Listening to…

h/t creative minority report.com

This Frozen’s Let It Go – Mom Parody. It’s hilarious.

 

Watching…

Mr. Selfridge Season 2, Grimm, The Middle, Hallmark’s Signed, Sealed and Delivered past seasons of Veronica Mars and Big Bang Theory. (Bazinga!) 😉

 

On the blog…

I’m finishing up a post with an update on my Menu Board and a post listing all the weekly link-ups available to Catholic bloggers. Sometimes it takes a link up to get us motivated to write and post on a regular basis. 😉 I’ll also continue on the Restore series.

 

In the blogosphere…

Yesterday I meant to link up with Kendra / Haley for Answer Me This but I never got around to it so I’ll answer the questions here instead.

1. What’s the scariest thing that’s ever been in your yard?

Hmmm… the only thing that comes to mind is when Brian and I were living in a rental when Bella was our only child. Outiode our front door there was a wasp nest and every time we got near it the wasps got angry. We had to go around the side and enter our home from the rear until we could get the landlord to take care of it.

2. Beards. Thumbs up or thumbs down?

I would say I’m thumbs up 75% of the time. There are a few faces I’ve seen that actually look better clean shaven. I grew up with my dad having a beard and a number of my 5 brothers having beards at various times so it seems natural to me. I relished when Brian came home for the hospital after his surgery in January and had a beard. He let me enjoy it for a few weeks before shaving it off.

3. If stuff breaks, can you fix it?

Depends on what it is. If someone gets a hole in their stiffed animal or loses a button, then Brian is the one to fix it. If something electrical breaks down – computer, TV, ipod, then I’m the one to get it running again. Anything requiring hammer and nails or tools is a toss up. But fixing a car? Hopeless.

4. What was your first car?

source

It looked something like this only I think the curves were a little chubbier and rounder. (Kinda like me. ;-))

My first car was a white Chevrolet Prizm. I was spending the weekend with girl friends and when my parents came to pick me up they had this new shiny, white car. I thought it was a rental. They took the money I was saving for a used smaller car and helped me with the down payment on this car instead. I was ECSTATIC. I remember that every night I would go out in the garage and sit in it and smell the new car smell for a few minutes before going to bed. LOL. I know there is a photo is of me sitting in the car on the day my parents delivered it but I can’t find it. Do you have it, mom?

5. How often do you eat out?

Nothing like we used to! There were times when we’d eat out 3 times a week. Now that we eat healthier it is more likely to be once every 2-3 weeks. Our treat it a burrito bowl at Chipotles. Yum!

6. Why is your hair like that?

Because every now and then God likes to play a mean joke. 😉

I have thick, dry, unruly, curly hair. I have been able to tame it using these products. These days, I keep it shoulder length so I can wear it down for special occasions but 99% of the time I have it up and off my neck with a scarf/bandana.

 

Pinned…

My timer is almost up so here is a screen shot of my latest pics. Get the links here – pinterest.com/rol_bobbi/pins/

 

Plans for the Week…

On Wednesday Bella is participating in her first school musical. They are doing Peter Pan Jr and she plays one of the Indians. I am not sure if we are doing anything special for Memorial Day but I’ll see if my father-in-law can babysit the kids so Brian and I can go out on a lunch date before he starts his 4th round of chemo.

 

Captured…

I never posted the photos from Mother’s Day so here are a few shots I captured.

John-Paul’s preschool had a Mothers’ Day tea. 🙂

John-Paul in his class.

Matthew. He starts preschool here next year. He can’t wait. 🙂

A quick snap.

 All my treasured homemade gifts from the kids.

 

 

Linking-Up with…

Jenny at The Littlest Way

A Mama Collective’s Currently

Answer Me This

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd or Instagram (It’s set to private but I’ll approve you.) 😉

PPS – This post may contain affiliate links.


Online Daybook (5/7/14): Being Mary Poppins & The Importance of Online Friends

 

Moments of Gratitude…

Today I am especially thankful for

  • Family.
  • Friends who pray for us and love us, especially those who have never met us in person.
  • The heat wave leaving and the fog rolling in.
  • The smell (and taste) of fresh baked granola.
  • A day of no errand running (other than dropping off and picking up kids) so I can finally finish this post, do some baking and catch up on house work.

 

Beauty in the Ordinary…

I love ordinary Sundays that turn into an impromptu lunch date with the hubby because Opa was willing to watch all the kids at the last minute.

 

In the Kitchen…

M – (Cinco de Mayo) Chicken tacos, homemade pinto beans, green beans and guac/salsa.

T – Spaghetti and salad.

W – Turkey meatloaf, brown rice and roasted asparagus.

Th – Homemade wheat pizza and Greek salad.

F – Tuna Melts & tomato soup.

S – Leftovers.

S – (Mother’s Day’s/The in-laws are coming over for dinner) Enchilada lasagna, black beans, broccoli and salad.

Side Note – When we went out to lunch I was craving a chicken Caesar salad. Do any of you have a recipe for a healthy version that you like?

 

Praying…

  • For Brian’s chemo and continued recovery from cancer.
  • For all those who are fighting cancer and other illnesses.
  • For all moms.
  • For those who suffer with longing to be a mom.
  • For moms who have lost a child.
  • For moms dealing with an unwanted pregnancy.
  • For moms who feel burned out, stressed or alone.
  • For those who have lost their mom.

 

On the homefront……

On Monday Brian started his third round of chemo. Once he is done with this round he is half way done with chemo treatment. Brian talked to the doctor about some of the “red flags” that were showing up in his side effects. The doc said Brian’s dosage needed to be altered so we’ll see how it affects him.

 

Pondering…

source

It’s funny but this weekend I was thinking that I have to make sure that I am prepared to care for the house and kids solo since the first week of the chemo cycle is hardest on Brian. I also knew that I had to try my best not to get stressed out in front of Brian because I know it bothers him that he needs to sleep while I do the work. If I am yelling at the kids and huffing about this and that, it will only make him feel worse. I knew I had to smile, be cheerful and give him lots of reassuring kisses that the kids and I are okay and we’ll pull together to keep things running smoothly.

Well, God must have wanted to put an exclamation point on that thought because my mom calls me up and tells me that she needs me to do something. She said she needs me to be Mary Poppins this week. HUH?? She said she was about to make lunch when she had a strong urge to call me and  tell me that Brian needs me, really needs me. I have to be the heart and strength of the family right now and channel my feistiness into fighting this cancer by being Mary Poppins – not losing my temper, keeping the kids and house in order and letting Brian know that he can relax and focus on getting better, not worrying about us. It’s exactly what God has been putting on my heart.

Monday and Tuesday the grace was flowing and I was Poppin it all over the place. But this morning was one of those morning when everything was going wrong and I felt more like Ursula than Mary Poppins. After getting Bella and Andrew to school I had a 10 minute window before I had to get the little boys ready for school. I stopped to pray and pleaded with God to take the anger and calm me down. I asked for the calmness of Mother Mary. It helped, a lot. I was able to kiss Brian goodbye and get the boys off without losing it. Sometimes a bit of prayer is the spoonful of sugar you need. 😉

 

Around the house…

I’m going through all the kids’ old clothes and seeing what is worth handing down and what should just be given away.

 

Reading…

Although my sister is sending me a hard copy, I couldn’t wait to start reading so I also downloaded the kindle version of Jen’s new book Something Other Than God: How I Passionately Sought Happiness and Accidentally Found It.

I also just started reading…

The Little Oratory: A Beginner’s Guide to Praying in the Home

The Fault in Our Stars

 

Listening to…

Matthew singing the Frozen song, “In Summer.” (With great emphasis on the word Summerrrrrrrrrr.)

 

Watching…

We are catching up on DVR’ed shows – Mr. Selfridge Season 2 (They kept their pants on this season.), Blechley Cirlce Season 2 (Not sure if I liked it as much as season 1.) , Revenge (Conrad got it this time!) The Blacklist (I’m on the edge of my seat!), Fr. Brown, Grimm (I’m loving Truble.) and Hallmark’s Signed, Sealed and Delivered.

 

On the blog…

Running late since this post should have been posted Monday. 😉

 

In the blogosphere…

This morning I read a heartfelt post from Haley titled Dear Moms, Don’t Hate Yourself for Liking Social Media. Here is a snippet:

…I don’t think the importance of face-to-face friendship makes online community worthless. It’s easy to dismiss social media friendship because the dangers of obsessing over virtual life are so obvious. But, I think online community can be incredibly valuable.

Because what’s a mama to do during those times when pursuing face-to-face community is nearly impossible? Your kids have been sick for two weeks so you’re stuck at home. You live in a rural area and can’t make it into town daily. You’re on the couch with morning sickness. Your days are filled with medical appointments for a child who needs extra care due to health issues. You’re recovering from a miscarriage. You’re having difficulty finding friends who understand your lifestyle or faith? What do you do then when you need community more than ever but can’t just hop over to a girlfriend’s house for a heart-to-heart?

I think that’s when online community really can be wonderful. Both to connect us to our established relationships with real life friends and to connect us to like-minded women all over the world who are willing to share life together despite never meeting in person.

Bonnie echoed the same sentiment when she said…

One day Cari Donaldson made the comment that it didn’t matter if she only knew you through the internet. If she talked to you every day and thought of you as a friend you were a friend. An in real life friend.

Her declaration allowed me to let out a sigh of relief because suddenly I didn’t feel like a weirdo  – the only one who felt that way about her online friends. These women who I chat with and pray for every day, who happen to live in other states and time zones and countries, whom I had never actually met in real life: THEY WERE MY FRIENDS!

I love Haley and Bonnie’s posts because I can completely relate.  I have local Catholic mom friends but we are all so busy we don’t get to see each other face to face as often as we’d like. Plus, they aren’t social media happy/crazy the way I am so we don’t have that daily contact. My online friends understand the bond you can have with a person without meeting them. (Heck, I fell in love with my husband before seeing him in person!) So it is nice to know that they, and so many others, share that bond and understand how important it is in on our lives. 🙂 So to you, that long distance, unmet friend reading this, a big xoxo to you! 😉

This topic is being covered today by four other bloggers. I just read Kendra’s and it is hilarious. Next I have to go check out Molly, Mandi, and Christy.

 

Pinned…

Not much time for Pinterest but I did pin this one.

source

gluten free and low carb strawberry mug cakes

 

 

Plans for the Week…

I am hoping for a quiet week, although on Thursday there is a mother’s day party at John-Paul’s preschool and on Sunday we’ll have Brian’s parents over for dinner. 🙂

 

Captured…

When Matthew was young he used to like to sit in the hamper while I did the laundry.

He still does. (He just graduated to a larger hamper.) 🙂

Linking-Up with…

Jenny at The Littlest Way

A Mama Collective’s Currently

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd or Instagram. 😉

PPS – This post may contain affiliate links.


Online Daybook (4/21/14): Easter, Family & Carrying Crosses

He is Risen! He is risen Indeed! I wish you and your loved ones a very blessed Easter season! I set aside blogging for Holy Week but I am back today with my Online Daybook.

* * * * *

Moments of Gratitude…

Today I am especially thankful for

  • Making it through Lent and for the first time feeling like I made a little spiritual progress.
  • The joy of Easter.
  • The giggles of the kids.
  • The deliciousness of chocolate.
  • Time with family.

 

Beauty in the Ordinary…

Bubbles on a spring day.

In the Kitchen…

M – Leftovers from Easter dinner.

T – Chicken Meatball and Tortellini Soup

W – Breakfast dinner – Pancakes

Th – Roasted chicken, brown rice and veggies

F – Leftovers

S – (Road trip to So Cal) Dinner at my mom and dad’s (woohoo!)

S – Dinner at my brother’s place. (Double woohoo!)

 

Praying…

  • For Brian’s chemo and continued recovery from cancer.
  • For all those who are fighting cancer and other illnesses.
  • For all the pregnant mamas as well as those who are suffering from infertility or miscarriage.
  • For those who entered into the Church this Easter.
  • For the renewed faith of cradle Catholics.
  • For those who are far from God and most in need of his mercy.
  • For some special intentions.

 

On the homefront……

On the 16th, Brian and I celebrated the anniversary of our first date/first meeting face to face. It feel like it was just yesterday and not 15 years ago! I still remember how nervous I was. We met online though AMSCOL and had been emailing and talking on the phone for 4 1/2 months and I was almost certain he was the man I was going to marry even though I hadn’t even laid eyes on him yet. My last reservations melted away once we were together. Everything clicked. I knew I would love him for the rest of my life.

Fast forward eight months from that first date and I was vowing before God to love Brian for better and for worse, in sickness and in health. Well, my chance to love him in sickness is here. I knew Brian wouldn’t be able to go on a real date for our anniversary so I planned a little after hours date and made a special dessert for us to share after the kids went to bed. However, Brian was feeling really tired and in a lot of pain from the chemo so he went to go take a nap after dinner. The first week after his first chemo treatment was tough for him but, in his words, this second cycle was 100x worse than the first. Brian didn’t just take a nap after dinner. He was out for the rest of the night. Like a mom with a newborn baby, a few times I checked on him to make sure he was still breathing since he has never slept that long. So I didn’t get to celebrate with him but at least he was alive and fighting for us.

I know many of you are praying for us – I can feel the grace keeping me upright. It’s hard at times. The following day Brian came home from work (he tries to put in a few hours each day in order to keep our insurance) and I could see how tired he was and that his whole body was aching. I told him to go to bed and get some rest and I had my father -in-law come over and babysit the kids so I could keep a dentist appointment that I had. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the fact that going to the dentist and getting my teeth cleaned was like having a mini spa day but I’ll take what I can get.

When I came home I made dinner. Brian ate a little then went back to bed. As I cleaned up the dishes and put in another load of laundry and got the kids ready for bed and wiped behinds I couldn’t help but feel resentful. Not of Brian, but of the cancer. It feel like it is stealing my husband and stealing our life together. I hate it. I hate seeing Brian like this. I hate feeling helpless. I hate feeling hateful. I hadn’t cried in awhile but that night I let the tears fall. It helped.

On Easter morning, there was joy in the Risen Lord but also pain that we are still carrying our cross. It was a weird sensation. But we are hanging in there. I’m hoping that this next week will ease up a bit for Brian and he can catch his breath. He is having a couple of “red flags” in his side effects so he has to talk to the doctor and check and make sure his dosage doesn’t need to be lowered. Next week Brian has an “off” week without chemo and we are praying that he feels better so he can join me and the kids for our road trip to see my family.

 

Pondering…

In that same train of thought, I know that the crosses we carry are meant to be our road to salvation. If we allow it, our crosses can draw us closer to God and bring us deeper into his love. So I keep thinking, what is God trying to teach me? How do I, as a wife, fight and hate this cancer yet embrace it as the cross I am to carry right now. I have a long way to go but I think it has already drawn me to a less superficial faith in God. I have to dig deep to trust in God. I have to go deeper in my prayer life. I can’t just rattle off a few prayers to check it off a list. I need to truly connect with God or I am a raving lunatic the whole day.

When I was a kid my mom used to love listening to John Michael Talbot, who now looks like Gandolf but still has a lovely voice. Since I’ve been married I have gotten in the habit of playing his music during Lent since it put me in a quiet and prayerful mood. On Good Friday I was listening to his album Come to the Quiet and his song Psalm 62 brought tears to my eyes. It is exactly what I am clinging to right now.

1 [For the choirmaster . . . Jeduthun Psalm Of David] In God alone there is rest for my soul, from him comes my safety;

2 he alone is my rock, my safety, my stronghold so that I stand unshaken.

3 How much longer will you set on a victim, all together, intent on murder, like a rampart already leaning over, a wall already damaged?

4 Trickery is their only plan, deception their only pleasure, with lies on their lips they pronounce a blessing, with a curse in their hearts.Pause

5 Rest in God alone, my soul! He is the source of my hope.

6 He alone is my rock, my safety, my stronghold, so that I stand unwavering.

7 In God is my safety and my glory, the rock of my strength. In God is my refuge;

8 trust in him, you people, at all times. Pour out your hearts to him, God is a refuge for us.

9 Ordinary people are a mere puff of wind, important people a delusion; set both on the scales together, and they are lighter than a puff of wind.

10 Put no trust in extortion, no empty hopes in robbery; however much wealth may multiply, do not set your heart on it.

11 Once God has spoken, twice have I heard this: Strength belongs to God,

12 to you, Lord, faithful love; and you repay everyone as their deeds deserve.

Source – Catholic.org

 

Around the house…

The Easter celebration aftermath that has yet to be cleaned up.

 

Reading…

The same as last time. I’m just about done with both.

The Everyday Catholic’s Guide to the Liturgy of the Hours

Insurgent (Divergent Series)

 

Listening to…

We are on Easter break so I hear A LOT of boy chatter, laughter, yelling and fighting. There is a constant chorus of “No fighting boys” and “Hands to yourself” coming out of my mouth all day long.

 

Watching…

I miss The Walking Dead. Luckily, I forgot I had a rain check from Target sitting in my purse so I redeemed it and picked up the first season on blu ray for only $10. Score. Since we are on Easter break and Brian is in bed early I can stay up and catch up on some shows siting in my DVR forever including The Originals, Mindy Project, Trophy Wife and Revenge. (Revenge was losing me this season but if Emily gets back to her red sharpie I may not cut her off. ) 😉

 

On the blog…

Tomorrow is our Pinterest Party and I’m still not sure what to post about… whole wheat baked chocolate donuts I baked or a new daily planner page I made and will share.

 

In the blogosphere…

Yesterday I meant to link up with Kendra (who is my current fave) for Answer Me This but I never got around to it (Easter and all, you know…) so I’ll answer her questions here instead.

1. What did you and your family wear to Mass on Easter Sunday?

I forgot to take full shots of Brian and myself so a head shot will have to do… picture this with a black skirt (Old Navy) and mary jane heels that were promptly kicked off the moment I got out of Mass. They are super cute but I loathe wearing anything but flats or converse. 😉 I was actually going to wear a pink sweater but Brian requested this same bluish one (Macys) because it is his favorite.  Just when you think they never notice what you wear… 🙂 The pearls used to belong to Brian’s grandma. Brian’s mom gave them to me and one day they will go to Bella. (She likes dressing up as much as I do but we do our duty. LOL.)

Bella was looking pretty in lavender (dress from Target) and the boys all wanted to wear blue. (Pull overs from H&M, plaid shirts form Carters and jeans from Target.)

I don’t know if it is the stereotypical laid back California attitude but we are casual dressers, even on formal occasions. Dressing up means pairing the boys’ jeans and converse with a plaid shirt and pullover. 😉

2. Easter Bunny: thumbs up or thumbs down?

Thumbs up. Our Easter bunny comes while we are at Easter Mass. He hides plastic eggs in our house and the kids find them. If they find all their color coded eggs then they get their Easter basket. When they hunt for eggs at their Oma and Opa’s house they know they (not the Easter Bunny) hid them in their backyard.

3. Do you prefer to celebrate holidays at your own house or at someone else’s house?

I like when family comes over to my house for dinner on “ordinary” days. For the big holidays we keep the morning time for us. Opening presents or Easter baskets, having a mini breakfast feast and lounging the rest of the day. Then we head over to Brian’s family for Easter (or Christmas) dinner. I prefer it that way because the thought of cooking a big meal for everyone stresses me out. Thanksgiving, however, must be spent with my family in So Cal or I’ll cry. LOL.

4. What is your favorite kind of candy?

Oh, that’s a tough one…. it would be a tie between Resses peanut butter cups, snickers, almond joy and peanut M&M’s. Although these days I am trying to stick to dark chocolate covered almonds. when I need a chocolate fix. Both are “health foods,” you know. 😉

5. Do you like video games?

Um…no. Yesterday I downloaded Angry Birds Go the go cart game for the kids and I tried to play it. How come I know how to drive yet I can’t steer a stupid iphone video game?? After crashing four times in a row Andrew picked it up and won on his first try. I give up.

6. Do you speak another language?

I wish I could say Spanish but I only know phrases like “more cheese on my tacos, please” so I don’t think that counts. It’s tough when other Mexican people come up to me and ask me for help in Spanish and I have to tell them I don’t speak Spanish. I’m like an Oreo cookie – dark on the outside but white on the inside. 😉 I’ll have to add “learn more Spanish” on my bucket list.

 

Pinned…

I haven’t had time for Pinterest lately but I did pin these two.

Source

Catholic All Year: Baby Steps to Living the Liturgical Year as a Family

Source

Tuscan Kale Salad from A Mama Collective

 

 

Plans for the Week…

Source – My sis JC

If all goes well, we will be leaving this week for So Cal for a going away party for my brother -in-law Mick who is being deployed to Afghanistan, a college graduation party for my brother Rob and then heading to Disneyland for a few days. 🙂 If Brian is well, he’ll come with us and then take it easy at my parent’s house or the hotel if he’s not up to DL. If he stays home he can rest in peace and quiet without all of us noisemakers in the house. Either way, I need this trip so I can get a little familia recharge. Nothing like a hug from mom and dad and laughter from my siblings to make me feel energized again. 😉

 

Captured…

Since I had Psalm 62 on my mind…

Okay, it seems like it took me days to finally finish this Daybook so I’m linking it up at all my favorite spots…

Kendra’s Answer Me This

Jenny at The Littlest Way

A Mama Collective’s Currently

Have a great day/evening. 🙂

UPDATE: Brian just got home and he looks a lot better than he did last night. He said he had a bit more energy today and was able to work 6 hours so I’m praying he is on the upswing again. Thanks for keeping us in prayer! xoxo

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd or Instagram. 😉


Moments of Grace Daybook & Currently (3/30/14): Brian Update, Trusting God, Odds & Ends

I’m linking up my Daybook with Jenny at  Plain Grace and with A Mama Collective.com. Go check them out!

AND


 

Moments of Gratitude…

Today I am especially thankful for

  • Gorgeous weekend weather
  • The sounds of giggles.
  • At home date night with Brian.
  • Confession and prayer time alone.
  • Phone calls from my mom.

 

Beauty in the Ordinary…

The color of Lent is blooming everywhere.

 

In the Kitchen…

M – Chicken Quesadillas with Salad

T – Chili Beans & Cornbread

W – Turkey Burgers and  Broccoli Slaw

Th – Leftovers

F – Cauliflower Lentil Taco Salad (This is a new recipe. If it comes out okay, I’ll post it on the next Pinterest Party. If doesn’t turn out, I have tuna as a back up.) ;-))

S – Homemade Veggie Pizza & Greek Salad

S – Crock Pot Balsamic Chicken with brown rice and roasted asparagus. (Another new recipe. I’ll let you know how it goes.)

 

Praying…

  • For Brian’s chemo and continued recovery from cancer.
  • For all those who are fighting cancer and other illnesses.
  • For the women participating in the Restore Workshop, especially those with heavy crosses.
  • For myself, that I never take for granted all the blessings in my life and that I always turn to God first when the going gets tough.
  • For those who are far from God and most in need of his mercy.
  • For some special intentions.

 

At the Cancer Center.

On the homefront……

Since many have been asking how Brian is doing, here’s an update.

[For those of you who are new here, this is some background info. In Dec of 2012 Brian found out that he had colon cancer. He went through surgery and had the cancer removed. A year later he went to his routine testing and found that the cancer returned and spread to 1 1/4 of his lymph nodes. In January 2014, Brian went through surgery again to remove the colon cancer. In February, Brian had a port surgically placed in his chest in prep for chemo. This Monday (3/24/14), Brian started chemo to remove the cancer in his lymph nodes. His schedule is to go in for chemo on Monday then for two weeks he take chemo pills. The third week he has off with no meds. The following Monday he started the cycle all over again. He will do this for six rounds of chemo. He should be done with everything in mid-July.]

The first week of chemo was tough. Brian is still getting used to the side effects and illness. Each person is different but common side effects for the type of chemo he is getting is nausea, numbness in the hands and feet (they have to keep a close eye on that side effect since damage can be long lasting), aversion to cold (for a few days after his port chemo) he can’t eat, drink or touch anything cold and general pain and achiness all over.

On Friday I was really getting worried about him. He was not only hurting but seemed so down. I felt helpless and wished I could take away his pain. He went into work for a few hours and I took a few minutes to say my morning prayer. My thoughts were full of Brian when I opened up my laptop to read the Restore prayer prompts. The thought for the day was timely. It said:

“Jesus did not come to explain away suffering or to remove it. He came to fill it with his presence.” –Paul Claudel

I prayed for Brian that he would be given strength to endure the months ahead. If I can’t take away his pain, I can at least pray for him to get through it. Afterwards I read the “Act” of the day. It said:

“Can you think of a cross your husband is carrying? Even some small chore that is usually his? Carry it with him today. Smile and wink at him, too.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Who said God doesn’t have a sense of humor. But it did give me an idea of how I could help Brian. I did what I could to make the home a little more comfortable for him. Things like – clearing off his desk area of the piles of folded clothes and Star Wars toys that landed there, wipe down his bathroom (a job he usually did), I made his favorite veggies to go with dinner and took care of his one cleaning pet peeve (an unvacuumed family room.) When he got home I kept the kids quiet (relatively speaking) so he could lay down and rest. It made me feel better just to do something.

On Saturday morning, I woke up and heard the kids talking to Brian in the family room. He let me sleep in as long as I wanted. (Even with cancer, he rocks.) Thankfully, he was feeling a little better and not hurting as much. His doctor said his body would develop a pattern and as time goes by he will know which days will be easier and which days will be tougher and he can adjust his schedule/activities accordingly. I took advantage of his feeling better and rented a movie he wanted to see that night and made a special dessert. (Baked whole wheat chocolate donuts. I’ll post that recipe too!) We had our own date night after the kids went to sleep. (That was part of my “wink”. ;-)) It was great…a little breathe of fresh air after a rough week. So yeah, we are hanging in there and appreciate all your prayers!

 

Around the house…

Legos, Star Wars toys, Legos, Thomas the Train engines, Legos, Disney Cars characters, and did I mention Legos?

 

Reading…

The Everyday Catholic’s Guide to the Liturgy of the Hours

Insurgent (Divergent Series)

 

Listening to…

I heard this song on the radio the other day and it really touched me. When I went to download it on iTunes I was surprised to find out that the artist was Shane Harper who played Spencer on “Good Luck, Charlie.” I don’t know if his new movie God Is Not Dead is any good but I do know I love the song from it. 😉

Here are the lyrics.

“Hold You Up”

When it’s coming apart, you had it all.
It wasn’t enough. No, it’s not enough.
They tell you it’s not worth the price, so just let it go.
But you know you can’t. You know you won’t.

It’s not easy, no.
Finding the words to say.
When you’re feeling lost, you’ll find your way.

The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold.
At nighttimes you can’t feel the fire to guide you home.
The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know.
But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.

They see the fear in your eyes, heart sinks like a stone.
‘Cause when you’re afraid, it weighs on your soul.

It’s not easy, no.
Finding the words to say.
When you’re feeling lost, you’ll find your way.

The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold.
At nighttimes you can’t feel the fire to guide you home.
The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know.
But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.

It’s not easy, no.
Finding the words to say.
When you’re feeling lost, you’ll find your way.

The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold.
At nighttimes you can’t feel the fire to guide you home.
The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know.
But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.

When the timing is right, somehow you’ll know.
When nobody stands, stand on your own.

 

Thinking about…

I love the lyric “The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know. But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up.”

When I am feeling overwhelmed and am stressing out I am tempted to lose it. I can give into my weakness and the negativity in my head and allow the demons to steal what I know – that God is with me. That he is strongest when I am weakest and He can accomplish amazing things. If I am docile in the hands of God and surrender to him in the little things, as well as the big things, He will hold me up and carry me through. That is especially timely these days. 😉

 

Watching…

Saturday we watched the season finale of When Calls the Heart (Aw!) and last night we watched the season finale of The Walking Dead (Ack!). I recorded the premiere of Season 3 of Call the Midwife for later this week along with The Blacklist, Father Brown, Grimm, some Hitchcock movies and some old episodes of Veronica Mars.

 

On the blog…

I have a number of posts in my Draft folder but I’m not sure how much free time I’ll have this week!

 

Posts I’ve Liked on my Bloglovin

 

Pinned…

Source

 

Plans for the Week…

Bella sitting next to me in the car, showing me her painted polka dot nails. 🙂

The usual, although is Brian is feeling okay on Saturday, Bella and I are scheduled for a mom and daughter date to the movies. (Even if it means having to sit through a Muppets movie.) Honestly, my favorite time is when we are driving in the car to and from. I ask her questions about her life and she opens up and shares things with me. I think the simple act of sitting side by side but not facing each other helps her to open up to me more.

 

Captured…

I love how after a rain the sky is a gorgeous blue with big puffy clouds. Here’s the view from our deck yesterday with today’s scripture of the day in the Restore Workshop.

 

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd or Instagram. 😉