I have been enjoying the relaxing, slower pace of summer but I have to admit that the first few days of summer vacation I was going nuts trying to work on all the summer projects I had planned while also taking care of four kids that were running around bouncing off the walls. I was complaining to Brian that I just couldn’t do any of the projects I wanted to do and that 24/7 with the kids was driving me insane and was it too late to sign them all up for summer camp…yada, yada, yada. I was hoping for a sympathetic hug and instead he suggested that I forget all the projects and just relax and do a little bit each day. He also suggested that I organize my day a little and then the kids would have a routine and they wouldn’t be so wild.

My reaction? I just stared at him as I felt my blood pressure rise. My mind was saying, “You want me to frickin do what?” Instead of my sympathetic hug and a “I don’t know how you do it” comment, I got his annoyingly calm, simplistic advice on how to fix what I was doing wrong. Ugh! That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I was MAD.  And I let him know I was mad.

Thankfully, as quickly as I fire up I also cool down fairly quickly. I knew I had to apologize for getting mad at him when he was just trying to help. We had a nice talk and agreed to compromise. The next time I go off on something he knows that he needs to let me get it off my chest and just hug me. Afterwards, he can gently offer his advice. In return, when he give his suggestion to fix the problem I must bite my tongue and smile sweetly and say I’ll give it a try. 😉

Well, the next day I reluctantly tried his suggestion and again the day after that and the day after that. And guess what? It worked! I shelved all the big projects and just did a little bit here and there. I set up an easy daily routine that was flexible enough to work around upcoming lessons/camps or appointments. So far I haven’t accomplished a heck of a lot but we are enjoying our relaxing summer and having fun together. And really, isn’t that what it’s all about?

So in the end, the compromise allowed me to get the empathy I needed and allowed him to give me a fix to the problem (when I was ready to hear it.) It doesn’t always work out so neatly but marital life is more peaceful when you humble yourself,  talk it out,  and think of the needs of your spouse.

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PS – This youtube video deals with this subject and it is hilarious. 🙂

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