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Monday, January 27, 2014 – 2:05 PM
That’s My Boy – I just came back from visiting Brian in the hospital and today has been a great day so far. He was finally able to get out of bed and sit in a chair without getting sick. Minor, I know, but after being cooped up in bed for so long it was a big first step. However, what I loved the most is that I saw “my Brian” again…not the worried, sick Brian with a forced smile that has been there lately, but the happy, joking, twinkle in his eye Brian that I have been missing. It warmed my heart to be with that guy again. 🙂
We still haven’t gotten any results back from the biopsy but we’re praying for the best.
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Tuesday, January 28, 2014 – 10:46 PM
I wish I could say that today was another great day but it wasn’t…………… Ugh. I’m staring at the screen and I am so exhausted physically and emotionally that I can’t get any words out. I’m calling it a night and coming back tomorrow. Night.
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Wednesday, January 29, 2014 – 8:28 AM
Good news – Good morning. I got a decent sleep last night so I am feeling better. As I was saying before, yesterday was not a great day, although there were some good points too. Okay, first the good news, they unplugged some of the machines Brian was hooked up to and he was able to get out of bed and walk a couple times up and down the corridor with his IV pole. Yay!
He has also graduated from ice chips only to beef broth and jello, which is good. Now we just have to make sure all his bodily functions are working properly. When I came for my afternoon visit, I was excited to see him sitting up and eating. He chatted about some crazy reality TV show he saw the night before and tried not to laugh too hard because it hurt to laugh. There was my ol’ sweet guy again, not to mention he was looking cute in that beard he is growing out. 😉
Bad News – But then we heard from his cancer doc. Although we don’t have the final results to his biopsy yet, his panels showed that there was a bit on cancer in his lymph nodes. We discussed our options and for now, Brian will be having chemo every two weeks for the next six months. The doses are lower and he (hopefully) won’t lose his hair but we were still trying to avoid this all together. Sigh.
Well, it is what it is and we just have to deal with it. Right now I have to focus on Brian getting stronger so he can leave the hospital and come back home.
Teach Me Your Paths – A friend was asking me how I was doing with all of this…I’m okay. I think having my sisters here earlier and now mom here has been a huge emotional support. Not to mention that my mom has been cleaning everything so I have a clean house on top of it all. But she leaves tomorrow and I’ve got to learn to do it solo.
I’ve been trying to put my trust in God and not worry about it but that is always easier said than done. Sometimes I don’t have any words left to pray or I think why bother praying, what’s going to happen is going to happen anyway. That is more my tiredness talking than me because I don’t really believe that. In those moments I just say, “Lord, I can’t get the words out but you know my heart completely so no words are necessary. I just want to rest my head on You.”
Through all this God is stretching me and teaching me. I can’t help but think of Psalm 25:4, “Make me know your ways, O, Lord; Teach me your paths.” There are many more lessons to come.
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Thank you, thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement. I’ll keep you posted. Love you guys.