Tips and Prayer Resources for Discerning Marriage
by Jason and Janelle Reinhart
Meditating on Scripture
During my daily prayer time I would take 15 minutes and focus my prayer on Janelle. I used Scripture to guide my thoughts. Meditating on Scripture kept me from losing my thoughts into temptation and/or futile dreaming. Here are the Scriptures that were most useful.
- Proverbs 31 – This was my prayer for the type of woman Janelle would be.
- Galatians 5:22 – These were the fruits I prayed we see born from our relationship both now and in the future.
- Ephesians 5:21 – This was the type of marriage relationship I sought to live out.
- Psalm 37:4 – This was the promise I held on to, as I was discerning God’s will for my life.
Prayer of a Future Spouse
I also wrote a prayer that I prayed for Janelle everyday. It reads:
Lord, I thank you for the blessing of __________ in my life. I ask that You will keep him/her safe and hold him/her in Your arms in time of need and in times of rejoicing.
Lord, at this time I ask you to purify my attraction towards __________; Lord Jesus, if it is Your will that we be together as a couple either within the next year or even in the next five years from now, please place a peace in our hearts about this situation. But, Lord, if it is not Your will, please give us peace in not sharing a life together and the grace to continue a God-fearing friendship.
I thank You Lord for this time of growth in ___________’s journey closer towards you and ask that You will continue to purify him/her for the adventure ahead. Lord, I ask that you will give him/her consistency in his/her feelings towards me and that his/her Love for me will only grow in the way in which You intend it to grow.
Lord, only You know my heart’s desires and I ask that everything I do that involves _________ will only lead him/her closer to You Jesus. Lord, You know I only want the best for him/her and that I can’t give him/her anything, only You can. Amen
Furthermore I was accountable to my two prayer partners. We worked together in ministry and shared our spiritual journeys with one another.
Praying for the Three P’s
Janelle also earnestly prayed for God’s will in our relationship. When we were dating, she would pray her Rosary every morning on the bus on her way to school. She prayed that God would provide the 3 P’s in her future husband. These were:
- Provider and
- Prayer Warrior.
Furthermore, in New Zealand at ICPE, Janelle spent one hour before the Blessed Sacrament everyday, using Ephesians 5:21 and Psalm 37:4 as meditation. Her spiritual director also offered her sound spiritual advice and guidance as she was discerning her vocation. Once it was established that we were courting, I gave her a copy of the prayer I had written and she also prayed it every morning.
Being Cautious of the Spiritual Bonding of Prayer
We never prayed alone together during our dating, courting or engagement time, because we knew how intimate and bonding prayer is. We also were aware how innocent praying could lead to unhealthy happenings. However we found this prayer time apart extremely comforting and crucial to our discernment process.
Researching our Vocation
To continue our research on the vocation of marriage we did a lot of reading. We went into this researching process with the attitude that we were going to research this vocation as thoroughly as we would research religious life or consecrated single life. This was not just “the last option” it was a CALL From GOD!
Jason & Janelle
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Catholic music artist Janelle was the theme song singer at World Youth Day ’02 Canada and she recently won “Best New Artist” at the Vibe Awards (Canada’s Christian Music Awards). Check out the RoL review for her award winning album New Day as well as her website www.janelle.ca.
Jason heads Life Vision Communications, which provides media resources, music, programs and services for adults, youth and children around the world. Log on at www.lifevision.ca.
Along with their shared love of music, Jason and Janelle are committed to spreading the faith, particularly God’s truths regarding chastity. They are ardent promoters of chastity and courtship. They were featured on Steve Woods’ tape series Catholic Courtship: A Challenge to Teens & Twenties available through the Family Life Center.
Click here to read Jason and Janelle’s “How We Met” Story.