Saying Goodbye to My Mom & Funeral Fund

By bobbi
January 11, 2019
1 Comment

Pictured: My mom on her birthday in June. Photo credit: my sis-in-law Maria. // Me & mom at the Mission. // Mom and dad with their grandchildren two years ago. There have been three more added since then! Photo credit: Felicity Photography.

Dear Family and Friends,

Thank you for all your prayers, love, and support, particularly during the final days of my mom’s life. You have been with me on this journey through social media from the moment I found out that she had cancer, to the day I kissed her goodbye for the last time. Brian thinks I’m a little crazy for sharing such a vulnerable part of my life with “strangers” but he doesn’t understand that we’re more than strangers. We’ve become like a little Catholic online community loving and supporting one another through the good and the tragic.

So thank you for being there for me, for my mom and my family. My mom keenly felt your prayers and she offered up her suffering for each of you that were praying for her. And now that she is no longer bound to the constrains of this earthy life, I know she has doubled down on her prayers and is still interceding for us, because that’s just the kind of person mom was.

Arrangements have been made for Mom’s funeral and burial. It will take place a week from today on Friday, January 18, 2019. Many of you have sent me messages asking about sending flowers or how you can help the family. I talked to my siblings and we decided that in lieu of flowers, we’d set up the Dolores Cardenas Funeral Fund for my dad to help him pay for my mom’s funeral and her medical expenses, which comes to roughly $15,000. (Please do not feel obligated to give. This is only for those who’ve asked – https://paypal.me/revolutionoflove.)

Foremost, my mom made me promise that I’d ask people to pray for her after she passed, that her soul would be happy and at peace with Jesus. In the end she was not afraid to die. She was ready to go home to her Savior. I pray she is happy with Him now. <3

Thanks again and love to you.

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd, or Spotify, 😉

31 Days of Gratitude (Day 27): Throwback Thursday – Cancer and the Grace of the Cross

By bobbi
October 27, 2016
1 Comment

The #write31days challenge continues. It’s Day 27 of my 31 Days of Gratitude 2016. In a new tradition, I’ll be having Throwback Thursdays and reposting past posts. Here is one I originally posted exactly two years ago. A few tears fell as I reread it and remembered the pain of the struggle and the joy of making it through. Blessed be God for his mercy and grace.

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(From Jan 2014, after Brian’s surgery to remove the cancerous tumor.)

As many of you know, at the beginning of the year, God asked us to travel a difficult path. In January, my husband Brian was diagnosed with cancer for the second time. He went through his second surgery to remove the cancer and this time around he had to have chemo. They surgically inserted a port into his chest. He had chemo for six months and finished his treatments in July. They won’t take the chemo port out until he has been clean for three months after treatment.

Over the last two months he’s had bloodwork and CT scans and this week he went through his last round of bloodwork. We got a call from the doc yesterday and he said that everything looked good, his lymph nodes are clean and there’s no signs of growth. Brian can now schedule the removal of his port. Blessed be God!

I pray that this cancer chapter is over forever! Sometimes, I’ll start to worry, especially when he is not feeling well, that maybe it is back but I’ve got to tell myself to shut up and don’t even go there because worrying like that is no way to live. I’ve just got to enjoy each day we have together and not worry about what may or may not happen. Its not the easiest thing for me but I’m trying.

Now we are concentrating on helping Brian recover from the chemo. He started going to a new doctor that has a more holistic approach to medicine and together they are working on building his body and his immune system back up and working on getting the lingering chemo out.

You know, I hate the cancer that invaded Brian’s body. It brought physical pain, emotional heartache, spiritual questions (and not to mention late night binging on ice cream while I worried about being a widow.) But now that the dust has settled and our lives feel “normal” again, I can’t help but think of the Romans 8:28, “We know that all things work for good for those who love God.” There actually have been positive outcomes to this whole situation.

First, we are taking much better care of our health with diet and exercise. Goodbye double cheeseburgers; hello, salads! Good bye pan dulce and glazed donuts; hello, black bean brownies! Goodbye, couch potato; hello, walking fool. I complain about it (shocking, I know!) but it feels good to feel healthier. (I’ll talk more about the improved health next week. ;-))

This cross has also brought Brian and me closer together. We have shared such raw moments together that it was either going to drive us apart or cement us together. It brings me to tears as I type to think about just how much I love this man. He’s a gem. Funny thing is, he says the same about me. I always felt like he was the rock and I was the flighty one. To see him hold onto me for strength is disconcerting, and reassuring, at the same time. As a family, it has drawn us closer and made us more compassionate towards those who are suffering illness and their families.

Lastly, we have grown closer to God and more reliant on him. We have been reminded that life is precious and that we can’t take any day for granted. I’m trying not to get so caught up in the tedious chores of the day that I forget to see the beauty in the mess. I think we’ve also come to realize that, by the grace of God, we are much stronger than we think. I have no desire to be tested any further but that’s not the way life works. So for now, I lay it at the feet of Christ and celebrate in the blessings of today. For that, I am truly grateful.

PS – You can follow RoL on Bloglovin, Feedly or another news feed. If you are a social media fan like me, we can stay in touch through Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, GoodReads, Letterboxd or Instagram. 😉

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For more 31 Days of Gratitude, visit the homepage here.

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Want to join the writing challenge but are unable to write everyday? Join me for the Weekly Writing Challenge in October instead.

Quick Mom Update (5/13/16)

By bobbi
May 13, 2016
9 Comments

Happy feast of the feast of Our Lady of Fatima. I just wanted to touch base, particularly for those of you who don’t follow me on social media but have asked about how my mom is doing. She went for her biopsy on Tuesday and the doctor confirmed that she has cancer and that it looks aggressive. They don’t know a stage yet. She will get a contrast cat scan on 5/15 (the feast of Pentecost) to look into her abdomen and pelvis to see if it went into any lymph nodes. Then she will meet with her oncologist on 5/20 to get the results and make a plan of action. All things considered, mom is really upbeat and positive and ready to fight.

We all thank you for your prayers so far and humbly ask for your continued prayers. It is very much appreciated! xoxo

Asking for Your Prayers – Cancer Hits Our Family Again

By bobbi
May 5, 2016
17 Comments

(UPDATES BELOW.)

It is a little ironic that a couple hours after posting about my weekend trip and sharing how it helped to heal the pain of the loss of my father-in-law, there has been a new cross presented to my family. I guess God wanted to make sure we had a wonderful time in each others company before we climbed the next mountain together.

If you may recall, I mentioned that my mom hasn’t been feeling well. She had her doctor’s appointment this week and the situation is much worse than we anticipated. She has cancer. The doctor couldn’t confirm it 100% but he was pretty sure it was cervical cancer and that “it looked bad.” This was a blow to all of us. I have already walked this road with Brian and don’t relish traveling it again with my mom. MY MOM.

I think I have been in denial since I heard the news. I have not cried yet. I have held strong for the kids who asked me if Grandma was going to die like Opa. I held it together so I could talk coherently with my mom and my many siblings. I haven’t let myself really think about it or I’d go crazy but now in the quiet of the house with Brian at work and the kids at school the tears can’t be held back… They are falling faster than I can type these words…

I don’t want my mom to have to walk this road, and more selfishly, I don’t want to lose my mom. She is such a rock and source of strength to me, I can’t imagine a time when that has to change.

With Mother’s Day approaching, I can’t help but think about mom and how she has shaped my life. She had a rough childhood and made mistakes in the early years of raising us up but she wasn’t content to repeat the vicious circle of dysfunctional families. She surrendered herself to the healing power of God’s grace and corrected her mistakes, and with my dad, raised up a family with a strong faith and love of God. She is now enjoying the fruits of her labor with children that are carrying on the faith and expanding the family tree – particularly with 4 new grandbabies within one year.

I admire my mom so much. I gave her a lot of grief and heart ache in my pain-in-the-arse years but she never gave up on me. She taught me to trust in God and believe in myself with God’s grace. She taught me that life is too boring without a little fun and a lot of laughter. She taught me about inner strength because she is the strongest woman I know. She has faced fears and kept going forward even when she was unsure of the way. And she did it without losing her sense of humor.

As I am typing this, I am also realizing that what I admire about my mom is going to be what gets her through this trial. Her faith, her trust in God, her courage to move forward even when she is scared and her sense of humor will serve as the very tools she needs to fight this battle. Now I just pray that we as her family have the strength to trust in God completely and walk this road with her.

I keep thinking about this morning’s Blessed Is She devotion. One quote is stuck in my head.

“The Lord’s Ascension means that Christ has not gone far away from us, but that now, thanks to the fact that he is with the Father, he is close to each one of us forever.” – Pope Benedict XVI

“He is close to each one of us forever.” I’ll be repeating those words over and over reminding myself that Our Lord is right by our sides, holding our hands and never leaving us.

Normally, my mom is very private and has reservations about posting personal business online for all to see (as you can deduce, that gene must have skipped me) but when I asked her if I could ask my online friends to pray for her she said, “Definitely, yes!” She wants as many people praying for her as she can get. So, please keep my mom (and our family) in your prayers. She is scheduled to have a biopsy taken tomorrow – Friday, 5/6/16 – and then we’ll know how bad (or not so bad) the cancer is. I’ll update this post when we get the results.

Thanks, guys. You have always been there to support me when tough times have hit us and it means a great deal to me. xoxo

UPDATE: My mom had the biopsy on Friday and we will get the results on Tuesday. I’ll keep you posted. Thank you or the continued prayers.

UPDATE #2: My mom’s biopsy confirmed that she has cancer and it looks aggressive. She will take another cat scan on Sunday, feast of Pentecost, to check if it has gone into lymph nodes. We will know more next week. We both thank you for all your prayers!!

UPDATE #3 (Dec 2016): My mom had surgery in late June and the cancer was removed. So far there are no signs of cancer. She will continue to be monitored.

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31 Days of Gratitude (Day 24 & 25): The Grace of the Cross

By bobbi
October 25, 2014
10 Comments

The 31 Days of Writing Challenge continues. It’s Day 24 – 25 of my 31 Days of Gratitude.

I started writing this last night but fell asleep so I’m finishing it in the morning and counting it as two days. 😉

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(From Jan 2014, after Brian’s surgery to remove the cancerous tumor.)

Over the last two months he’s had bloodwork and a scans and this week he went through his last round of bloodwork. We got a call from the doc yesterday and he said that everything looked good, his lymph nodes are clean and there’s no signs of growth. Brian can now schedule the removal of his port. Blessed be God!

I pray that this cancer chapter is over forever! Sometimes, I’ll start to worry, especially when he is not feeling well, that maybe it is back but I’ve got to tell myself to shut up and don’t even go there because worrying like that is no way to live. I’ve just got to enjoy each day we have togeether and not worry about what may or may not happen. Its not the easiest thing for me but I’m trying.

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For more 31 Days of Gratitude, visit the home page here.

Revolution of Love

Do small things with great love.

Tag Archives: cancer

Saying Goodbye to My Mom & Funeral Fund

31 Days of Gratitude (Day 27): Throwback Thursday – Cancer and the Grace of the Cross

Quick Mom Update (5/13/16)

Asking for Your Prayers – Cancer Hits Our Family Again

31 Days of Gratitude (Day 24 & 25): The Grace of the Cross